The Meeting Place
by ReeseisLAVAhot
Summary: Ok, I've gone and done it... I've come over to the Dark Side and written a Carter/Reese fan fict. Rated T for now but of course that won't last too long in one of my ficts so consider yourself warned. Spoilers for S2 E10 thru E13.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Well my dear readers, I have never been a Carter/Reese shipper but my close friend Maddsgirl75 is an avid one and she was bound to rub off on me SOME time. So, if you hate this fict, blame** **her and if you like it, well you have her to thank for it too. Her "cars" fict inspired this little plot bunny and I highly recommend it if you haven't already read it.**

_Staring down the barrel of the gun Snow was pointing directly at her, Joss KNEW she should have listened to HIM. HE was always right, damn him and that damn smirk of his that always made her so hot; made her WANT to provoke him, made her WANT to make him angry, angry enough to perhaps slip his leash, if just a little. For what reason she wanted him this way, she would barely admit to herself, much less to him. Still, she should have known better than to ignore his warning but instead she had just pushed on, like she always did; convinced that, as always, she would come through this just fine. That Good would always triumph over Evil. Now, seeing her death coming, she just wished to see HIM once more before she died. She wanted to tell him he was right. He'd always been right, even when she didn't want to hear it. She wanted to beg him to promise to take care of Taylor. To help guide her son to become a good man, the kind of man HE was. But the bullet left the gun and suddenly, she had no time. It hit her in the chest and her knees buckled, the floor rushing to meet her all too quickly. Her thoughts as she fell were ones of HIM and the first time she'd met him in that diner. _

She sat there, sipping her coffee and for the billionth time, wondered what the hell she was doing here. What the hell had made her make that call? She was a GOOD Detective. She solved her cases most of the time, was proud of the fact that very few of hers ended up in the Cold Case Unit. So why was she here, waiting on a man she'd never actually met, had only seen once and who was as far outside the law as she was in it?

She knew why. The rush of helping someone BEFORE they were killed had been a heady feeling. She was shocked at how the man in the glasses had known that Derrick Watson was going to go after that banker. She wanted answers and more importantly, she wanted to see if she could do it again, make such a difference in someone's life. She wanted to save them BEFORE any of the bad things she saw day in and day out could happen to them.

A tall man in a suit walked in and she craned her neck to see if it was him, the 'Man in the Suit' as she'd first started calling him. He turned around and Carter saw that it was not HIM, this man was too thin and certainly not good looking enough….now where the hell had THAT thought come from?

'This is ridiculous!' She thought to herself. She would get up and leave and forget she'd ever called him, ever asked him to meet with her.

"Your coffee's getting cold, Detective." She heard a deep, low voice say from behind her. She looked up and watched in amazement as a man in a black suit and lilac shirt gaping open at the neck took the seat in front of her. Damn but he was even better looking than she remembered. Then suddenly, a ghost of a smirk came to his lips, almost as if he could see inside her head, as if he knew what she was thinking right then.

"Nice suit." She said with a smile of her own, trying to play down her first reaction to him and his appearance.

Grinning he spoke again. "Well, you finally found me. But I don't hear any sirens or see you reaching for your gun." The way he spoke, that voice… She had to look away, if just for a second.

"I looked for a 'sorry I got ya shot' card, but they were all out." She hung her head, not proud of the role she'd played in almost ending this man's life. Then she had to look up at him, so that he'd know she was sincere. "I had no idea what Snow was capable of…. that he'd actually try to KILL you….."

"Why DID you contact me, Carter?" He asked in that husky whisper of a voice.

"I've got a lot of questions."

"Well you managed to lose your tail. That's quite a feat. Those CIA boys spend a lot of time learning how to be invisible." He spoke as if he was not one of them, as if he had _never_ been one of them. It puzzled her.

"You think Snow is my only problem?" She continued.

"Is there another agency following you that I'm not aware of?" He questioned, as if he knew _exactly_ who was following her and where and when, she quickly thought.

She needed him to know, to understand the danger that they were both in… "You've got an entire NYPD task force looking for you. Had to run two lights just to get here, to make sure my own people weren't trailing me. I'm a cop, which means I've got rules. Rules that can't be broken. But, um, I want to know more."

He leaned in closer and she got a whiff of his scent. A bit of gunpowder, a bit of open air, a bit of manly aftershave and another scent she didn't recognize, one that must be uniquely his own. It was a heady combination. He fixed her with an intense stare and said, "Once you go down that road, there's no looking back." He paused and gave her a smirk, his eyes seeming to get more intense as he looked at her and she felt a delicious shiver run from her spine to the tips of her breasts and down below.

It took her a second, but she remembered her most burning question. "How are you getting your information?"

"All I can tell you is that we hear about people in danger or people who are causing it."

She couldn't think when he was focusing all his attention on her like this and she looked down and asked, "Why me?"

His voice seemed to take on a more serious note for a brief second as he said, "Because your moral compass is pointed in the right direction."

What? She thought. HE cared if she had morals? After what Snow had said that he did, the crimes he had committed? She looked up to see if he was serious. Perhaps he realized she didn't completely believe him because the next words out of his mouth were said with more levity.

"Because I'm tired of you chasing me."

She nodded her head at that. It made much more sense than to think that he actually cared what her morals were and what she might think of him.

"How does this work?" She asked.

He reached a hand into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. She opened it and saw there was a name on it. "Andrea Guiterrez?" She asked in a puzzled tone.

"A civil litigation attorney with a sealed juvie record. I need it unsealed Carter."

"What did I just say about rules?" Was this what they were going to do, ask her to break the law with them?

"You have your rules AND you have a chance to save a life."

She was suddenly taken aback, her heart leaping into her throat. How the hell had he done that? How did he know her weak spot? Who WAS this man? This John Reese as Snow had named him. And what if she _didn't_ do this? Would she ever see him again? The thought pulled at her insides. He'd saved her life. Asked nothing in return and she'd gone and gotten him brutally shot.

"It's your choice."

She lowered her eyes and he got up. He knew he'd gotten to her. He handed her a cell phone and his fingers lingered on hers for just a split second as he handed it over. The touch sent electric shockwaves throughout her body.

"We'll be in touch." She looked at the phone and then up at him, wondering if he'd felt it too. He smirked down at her and then walked out and disappeared down the street.

Over the course of the next day or so, Carter had several phone conversations with him regarding the case. She became frustrated with his methods several times and his blatant disregard for the law. The same laws it was her job to uphold, but she had to admit she was looking forward to meeting him in the diner once more when he called and asked her to bring the file on Galuska. She even dressed with more care, wearing a black, form-fitting sweater, with a low V in the front and a white shirt underneath for proprieties' sake rather than the vest and pant suit she normally wore.

She sat at the counter, sipping her coffee and wondered if those same strange feelings would be there again this time. Every time she saw him, her stomach did flip-flops like when she used to ride the tilt-a-whirl when she was a kid. She just didn't understand it, she hadn't felt this way in a long time, a VERY long time, and she didn't like it. She was a strong, professional woman after all! She snorted to herself. 'Yeah, a professional who was feeding information illegally to a vigilante!'

She began looking once more through the case file she'd brought and wondered how she'd come to this. Still, if she didn't actually physically GIVE him the file… there was no law about speculating aloud to one's self about a case, even if there was someone sitting next to her while she did it.

"You're getting better at ditching your tail." He spoke as he appeared, seeming to want to remind her that he was aware of where she was and what she was doing at all times.

The thought made her smile and she took another sip of her coffee.

He leaned in closer to her and teased her in that whispery voice of his, "Maybe you've got a knack for breaking the law." Considering her recent thoughts, that was SO not what she wanted to hear from him! She gave him a disgusted look and put down her coffee.

"I've been going back through Galuska's files and found a pattern. In the past year, all the parolees he's busted were single parents."

"Which means their kids end up in foster care." She was surprised at how quickly he made that connection. "Galuska wasn't getting paid for the parolees, he was getting paid for their kids."

"Each child was worth about $800 a month. Galuska's gotta be working with someone at DFS." She was getting excited just thinking about the crime she was uncovering. A crime involving the exploitation of children no less! The thought of putting a stop to this gave her an exciting thrill.

"DFS is a big agency." He reminded her.

"I'm gonna have a talk with Mary and Paul Kensey, the foster parents looking after Terrance King's kid."

He leveled her with an impressed look and a smirk and said, "You're good at this Carter."

"It's my job. AND I didn't have to shoot anyone to do it." She couldn't resist teasing him after all he'd said and done over the past few days. His look of disbelief had her smiling into her coffee cup. 'Take that Mr. Man in a Suit!' She thought to herself, already looking forward to the next time they'd meet in a diner….

Or maybe someplace less… public?


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thank you all so much for your encouraging reviews! I'm sorry I haven't answered them but I thought the best way to thank you for taking the time to write me a quick note was to work on and post another chapter quickly. Hope you like this one as well… thanks to Maddsgirl75 for the beta-ing.**

**Chapter 2**

_As she lay there, gasping for each breath and waiting for the kill shot to the head, she recalled the second time she'd met John in a diner…._

She wasn't sure what she was feeling right now. The anger at his betrayal was still there, as was the desire to hurt him for what he'd done that hurt her, for the trust that he'd just thrown away. But along with those feelings were ones of relief. Relief in knowing she was not as alone as she'd thought she was, relief in seeing his beautiful face in front of her once more. She sat there silently in the booth, trying to decide which set of feelings would win. He was quiet too. Perhaps he was just waiting for her to light into him for betraying the location of the safe house to Elias. She'd never tell him just how much she'd missed his playful banter. How it had kept her up at night sometimes, the things she'd said to him. The fact that he'd done what she'd asked and gone, that she hadn't seen him since, and how she'd cried herself to sleep countless times at night over the loss. It was even less likely that she'd tell him how, a few times, she'd woken up from a dream, a dream of him, of his lips and his long fingers touching her, making her sex so wet and aching that she wanted to scream out loud in frustration when she realized it was ONLY a dream.

No, she'd never tell him any of that, but she realized that she'd already forgiven him. God, when he'd shown up out of nowhere and taken out that shooter just as he was about to shoot her…she had to restrain herself from running up to him and jumping into his arms! And then he'd turned and smirked at her, telling her she should have answered her phone. She wanted to both yell at him, because it was such a relief to finally hear that damn sexy voice of his, and drag him back into the alley behind her, throw him up against the wall, drag his mouth down to hers and feast on his lips, then let her hands roam all over that hard, wonderful body of his….let her hands slide down lower until she could grip that…

Her phone ringing in her pocket woke her out of her fantasy. Damn! The things she had been thinking, and with him sitting right across from her, watching her…. Her voice shook a little as she answered the phone.

"Carter. Yeah? Ok, that's good news. Thanks." She hung up her phone and took a deep breath and addressed him for the first time in weeks.

"The officer's stable. Lucky for us you've got good timing." She glanced out the window, thinking about how much her thoughts and their timing stunk. She took a deep breath and said, "I guess you should know, the FBI has a new task force set up in your honor." She wanted him to realize that he was in danger but she couldn't keep a little bit of bitterness from creeping into her words. "They think you're working with Elias."

He must have forgiven her the tone of her words because he gave her a little smirk and said**,**  
"I'm often misunderstood."

Just as she was about to return his smile, Finch came walking up to the table and sat down. Immediately, she remembered that she was still mad at the two of them. John's smile disappeared and he looked at her intensely for a second before she had to look away. There was an uncomfortable silence as the rapport the two of them had been rebuilding melted away in the presence of the older man.

"I take it things didn't go as expected with Mr. Basile." Finch broke the silence.

John glanced down and when she saw it, she said in exasperation, "I don't know who to trust anymore."

"You can? trust us, Detective." Finch replied. Meanwhile, John just sat there and watched her.

She was not sure what influenced her, the fact that she would no longer be able to help people as she had been, while working with them, or if she just wasn't sure if she could take it if HE left her life again, but she finally relented.

"Elias transferred $4 million dollars in the last forty-eight hours to a dozen cash and carry hubs around the city. We could use those transfers to track down the men working for him but I can't access their database without a warrant."

"Maybe I could use…other techniques to access the information we need." Finch said. And it started again, she thought to herself. She _hadn't_ missed this aspect of their partnership, the gray area part, the part where she JUST barely skirted around breaking the law.

"If we track down the men on Elias's payroll, they may lead us right to him." John finally spoke again, looking right at her, almost as if he was willing her to agree to work with them again.

She didn't want to see it though or have him see the longing in hers so she closed her eyes and said, "In the meantime, I need to convince those old dons that the only way to stay alive is to work with us." She opened her eyes, speaking directly to Finch.

Regardless though, when she was done, her eyes quickly darted to John's. She looked away and then back again, her eyes wanting to drink him in one last time. "Thanks for the back up." She told him and moved to leave.

For only the second time, he reached out and touched her, laying his hand on hers. She wanted to close her eyes and enjoy the feeling, but was too afraid to do so with Finch sitting right there across from her.

"Um, if I'm not there next time, I want you to be prepared." He reached behind him and presented a bag to her across the table.

He looked at her sincerely, almost like he wanted her approval, almost as if he were a cat presenting its owner with a its latest kill. It was with some trepidation, she unzipped the bag and saw several guns, rounds of ammo and a grenade or two. She couldn't help but smile as she quickly zipped up the bag and glanced around her, making sure that no one else had seen what was inside.

"Not exactly standard issue." She frowned a little just to keep the smile from giving her away. He'd brought all this with him, acquired all this for her, just so she'd be safe if he couldn't be there to watch over her. Her heart sped up in her chest as she thought that perhaps he DID care for her…maybe…at least a little….and that scared her. Even more, it scared her that it mattered to her.

So she spoke with a bit more heat than she intended when she said, "Should I ask where you got these?"

"Probably best if you don't." He replied.

She couldn't help the small smile that came to her lips then, so she quickly got up and left, walking away on legs that were unsteady as she tried to suppress her emotions.

***************

He'd told her to meet him at the diner but she just couldn't bring herself to wait inside. After the scare she'd just been through, after the near loss of that thing that was most precious to her, she couldn't sit calmly in the diner and wait for it to be returned. Hell no! It had taken all of her self-control just to sit calmly at her desk and fill out the necessary reports rather than running home and insisting that she actually _see_ that her baby, her sweet son Taylor was safe. She paced back and forth on the sidewalk, her mind replaying over and over all the horrible things that could have happened to him. Things she didn't need to imagine, things she'd seen with her own two eyes through the course of the job; terrible, cruel things that someone had done to someone else's baby. And Taylor had _almost_ wound up like one of them, would have in fact if it weren't for HIM. She hadn't been able to protect her baby but HE had. He'd gone after him, right into the lion's den and shot and killed those who would have hurt her baby.

'He's safe though.' She had to remind herself. 'John promised he'd keep Taylor safe. I spoke to Taylor myself. He was fine. Taylor's just fine.' She held back the panic but only _just. _Where the hell were they? What if something had happened to them? Not all of Elias's men had been apprehended. Hell, they could even have been involved in a car accident, rather than some sinister plot. John said he'd bring Taylor so where were they? She was a wreck and she knew it but she didn't care. For the tenth time in as many minutes, she took out her phone and glanced at it, looking for a message, an explanation for why they weren't here RIGHT NOW!

Poor Taylor. He must have been terrified. They never talked about the dangers of her job. She did NOT want to bring that shit home with her. Unfortunately, it had followed her home. She fidgeted, wondering how she was going to help…. Suddenly she saw her boy running across the street to her. Heedless of everything, she dropped her umbrella and ran to him with her arms open. She enveloped him in her arms and squeezed him tightly to her, wanting to shut out all the pain and fear he'd experienced.

"Are you ok?" She asked him.

She held him at arms' length to look in his eyes, worried that he'd been hurt more than he'd admitted to her. Using her mother intuition, she read him like a book and was both proud and saddened by what she saw. There were still lingering traces of fear, but there were also signs of maturity, resolve and strength.

She saw John approaching and turned to him so that she could thank him but she didn't let Taylor go far, pulling him to her side. She looked at the man in front of her and words simply could not express how grateful she was to him for all he'd done. As she looked at him, she could no longer fathom why anyone would think this man evil or psychotic. She was ashamed that she'd ever believed such lies from Snow. From now on, she would help him in whatever way he asked, even though she might not always like it. She would do whatever she could to protect him from the people trying to hurt him, up to and including putting her career, even her life on the line for him. She could NEVER repay him for the gift he'd given her in finding and rescuing Taylor and in doing so keeping her from having to make a terrible, terrible decision. She was overcome with emotion, thinking about what this man had done for her. She tried to show him that she knew he was a good man, that she was sorry she'd ever doubted him. It was vitally important to her that he know that.

"Good to know you keep your promises." She smiled at him, fighting back the tears.

"Told you I'd never let anything happen to your son." He smiled at her and then at Taylor; letting him know as well that he would be there for them if they ever needed him. That brought fresh emotions to the fore-front, a small part of her wondering why he would make such a promise to her and her boy.

"Thank you." She put as much emotion into those words as she could.

His eyes crinkled up as his smile increased and his hand brushed hers. She smiled in return, letting him know that she welcomed the touch. He walked away then with a smile on his face and she turned back to Taylor, embracing him once more. Her heart swelling with happiness.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: aww…*blushes* I really appreciate you all taking the time to write your reviews (can I tell you that I woke up in the middle of the night and just HAD to fire up the laptop to see if you all had liked my latest chappy?) So, here's your reward dear readers, hope you likey!**

**AAN: Many of you have commented about the fact that I am not a Carter/Reese shipper so I just wanted to address that for a sec (bear with me….BTW, isn't he the cutest?) I see Reese, after all that he's done to work toward redemption, as deserving of a GOOD woman. Of all the characters currently on the show, in my mind, Carter is the only one worthy of him. (No offense Zoe/Reese shippers but Zoe is a bit too much like the OLD John Reese, not the new one I see him working towards.) HOWEVER, I do not ship Carter/Reese on the show for this reason: As things stand now, I can pair John with **_**whomever**_** I want. If the writers of the show were to pair up John with anyone, it would stifle my imagination. I'd have to write my version of the relationship according to what THEIR vision on the show was. So, I suppose you might call me a 'not YET Carter/Reese shipper'. If they want to pair them together on the show towards the end, fine. But not YET. **

**Thanks for letting me ramble BTW…now on to our regularly scheduled broadcast…..**

**Chapter 3**

_Her breaths were becoming shallower and the lack of oxygen from her lungs brought on a creeping blackness. She thought of her son with great regret. IF ONLY she had listened to John when he warned her…._

Her heart still raced when she thought about how she'd almost been shot by Snow's mysterious 'she'. She promised herself she WOULD have answers from HIM this time. No more putting her off with 'I can't tell you that' or even just silence. If they wanted her help to continue, _she _wanted some answers!

So for the third time in their working relationship, she met HIM in a diner. She walked in and saw him sitting at the booth and she suddenly wanted to pause and enjoy the view. His black suit complimented his salt and pepper hair perfectly. Even from here, she could see those lovely black eyelashes as they moved over his beautiful, high cheekbones. Those long-fingered hands rested on the table and those piercingly blue eyes darted around, obviously searching and assessing. When they saw her coming she detected a small smile which reached his eyes but when she didn't return the smile, it slipped off his face.

Her heart felt saddened but she steeled herself for their upcoming conversation. She promised herself that she wouldn't remember that fluttery feeling she felt in her stomach when he smiled at her or the way that her heart sped up in her chest every time he teased her. She _certainly_ wouldn't remember her dream from last night where she'd run into him waiting for her outside her Brownstone. Or how he'd followed her silently up the steps…she'd felt his breath on the back of her neck as he moved in close behind her as she was unlocking the door. How he'd pressed himself into her back so that she could feel just how much he'd wanted her, a feeling she'd mirrored by pushing him up against a wall once they were inside and grinding her hips into his. In her dream, he'd torn her blouse open, popping buttons and yanking down the cups of her bra so that they pushed her breasts upwards and into his hot, greedy mouth. She'd moaned at the sensation as his hands reached down and pulled her skirt up to her hips. At the same time, she'd unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants, letting them fall to the ground as her fingers caressed the hardness inside his boxer briefs. He growled with pleasure and shifted to her other breast, eliciting another moan from her. Suddenly they both had been unable to stand it any longer and he'd pulled himself out, picked her up and in one fluid motion, driven himself deep inside her, both of them….A plate shattered nearby and the sound broke into her thoughts and brought her to the here and now.

By this time she'd reached the table and she blushed at where her thoughts had so easily gone. More and more frequently, she'd begun having a problem remaining her usual detached and professional self around him, but this was over the top! She pushed all those inappropriate thoughts into the very back of her mind where they belonged.

She sat down across from him**. **They sat there almost a full minute before he finally spoke "So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company tonight, Detective?"

"I ran into an old friend of yours earlier." She took out the ID badge, the photo of the man that Snow had killed and the chip reader.

He reached for the badge and shifted it back and forth between his fingers. Watching his long fingers move delicately along the edges, she couldn't help but stare and imagine those fingers somewhere else. He saw where her eyes were drawn and he smirked at her, almost knowingly, before looking down at the badge and becoming serious.

"You've been doing a little work on the side?"

"I'm a homicide detective, John. You know what I do. You shouldn't have brought me in on this if you didn't want me asking questions." She reminded him with frustration.

"And you're sure it was Snow?"

"I saw him fleeing the scene of the crime." She leaned in, "wearing a bomb vest. He looked desperate, helpless, like someone was holding him on a string. Said to tell you that SHE is planning something. Something big."

His hands stopped fidgeting with the badge momentarily and his eyes took on an intense and focused look. "Who?" He asked quickly.

"That's what I wanna know. Do you know what this is all about, John?" She could see that he did. He was looking away and rubbing his face with his hands, something she'd noticed he did when agitated.

She had to look down before asking the next question, afraid of what he might answer. "And if you did, would you even tell me?"

His reaction amazed her. He hung his head down and fidgeted with the badge once more, then engulfed it with both of his large hands as if by covering it up, he could make the entire thing go away.

He seemed torn about his answer. 'Please, John, please tell me the truth.' She silently willed him to speak. She needed to feel that he trusted her just as much as she trusted him, that he felt the same connection to her that she felt to him. She'd tried her best to keep her silent promise to him, the one she'd made after he'd brought Taylor safely back to her. In the months since, she'd felt they'd grown closer, more at ease with each other, but all of that hung in the balance as she waited for his answer to her question. Finally, he seemed to make a decision.

He looked up at her. "You're one hell of a detective, Carter." She smiled at the compliment, but waited for the other shoe to drop.

"And I can't stop you from looking." His mouth seemed to form an ironic twist at the thought of stopping her from doing her job. "But you already know quite a bit about me…" His smile widened. "…and Finch, and you may know that we both had people who once cared about us." His eyes took on a hard look then and he shook his head, "Not anymore. But you… you still have your son. Your life, it's still yours. So I think the real question you have to ask yourself Detective is: How much more do you really want to know?"

She had to look away for a few minutes while he sat there in silence and let her think. She thought she caught him looking at her once or twice with a concerned look on his face. A part of her wanted to think that he was worried about her, but she dismissed that idea out of hand. He was probably just worried that she'd push him into answering questions he didn't want to answer. Still, he did bring up a good point. What if this information really was deadly? Did she want to leave her son without a father AND a mother?

"John, I….." She faltered, not sure just what to say.

"You need to give this some thought Carter. Go home tonight and sleep on it. If you still want answers…" He sighed heavily. "Then call me and I'll tell you what I can."

She just nodded and got up to leave, noting but not commenting on his words… 'what he COULD tell her, not what he KNEW'. For now, it was enough.

****************************

That night, she tossed and turned, debating in her mind what she would do the next morning. Was the information deadly? John and even Fusco seemed to think so. Based on the deaths of Alicia Corwin and the involvement of Snow, it definitely seemed to be. Then again, was it that knowledge that had killed them or some other, unrelated issue? Until she knew more, she wouldn't be able to tell.

So who would be hurt by that knowledge if it was indeed deadly? Herself surely, Taylor….possibly. That thought brought her up short. She would NOT put Taylor in jeopardy again. But…..what if by her ignorance of something truly pertinent to what she was involved in here… what if she missed a warning sign? Was she in MORE danger, not knowing things, being kept in the dark and feeling her way through? She tried to be objective about the whole thing.

In the end, she got up that morning and called John. He agreed to meet with her and gave her specific instructions on where to meet him. Even once she met him outside the diner he'd told her to go to, they didn't stay. Instead they hopped in a series of cabs and walked several blocks until they came to another smaller, emptier diner. The lengths that he'd gone to to avoid being followed gave her a hint of just how serious and dangerous he considered this to be.

"This is your last chance to back out Carter. I've told you before, once you go down this road, there is no turning back."

"I'm already involved in this thing John. Far deeper than I think I realized. I can't go stumbling around here in the dark, maybe even accidentally stumbling into the truth and not be knowledgeable enough to know it or know I'm in danger. I don't have a choice here. At least I'll be able to guard myself and Taylor against a known factor."

"Forewarned is forearmed. Is that what you're saying?"

"Yes. Now please, tell me what this is all about."

John took a deep breath and spoke, "I strongly suspect that the SHE Snow was talking about is my ex-partner Kara Stanton." He went on to tell her about their last mission together in Ordos, China and how they'd both been given the order by Snow to kill the other.

"He did WHAT?" She furrowed her brow and asked in amazement. "Why would he do that?"

"Whatever was located in Ordos was so important to the government that they sacrificed my partner and I to make sure it was still a secret." His eyes held hers as she grappled with the idea that the higher ups in the government valued something more than the human lives that were working for them. Shaking her head at the thought, she realized that it wasn't that much further than what she'd experienced in her own department back when HR was in charge of most things.

"So, what do you think it was? Was it really a stolen laptop?"

"I doubt it. I believe that was just the cover story they gave us. I have some guesses as to what it was, but I don't know for sure."

"What does all this have to do with what you and Finch are doing now?" She asked, not seeing the connection.

John looked out the window and took a minute or so to answer her. "Probably nothing. Perhaps everything. The only thing I can tell you is that the government is un-knowingly and illegally providing us with the information we get on the people we help."

"Seems a strange coincidence to me that the government is involved in both of these situations."

He barked with laughter. "Carter you have _no_ idea how much government is involved in your daily life. If you did, you'd be as paranoid as Finch."

She smiled at the thought but then asked him, "So what will you do about Snow?"

"Nothing for the moment. Just watch and wait to see where and when he turns up next. I can do some searching, but anything I do is just as likely to get back to Kara as not. And you of all people should know not to trust everything Snow says." He chided her.

She hung her head in shame for a minute before she felt his fingertips on her chin, raising it up so that she could look in his eyes.

"Damn it Carter, that was unfair of me. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I know you'd never willingly hurt me. That's the reason I'm telling you all this despite my better judgment, so that you will know what you're getting into." He withdrew his fingers, but not before she swore they brushed lightly against her lips. She shook her head, she must be crazier than she thought, imagining things that weren't there.

They departed shortly after, her for the precinct, him for..._wherever_ he went but not before he'd reminded her twice more to be careful and to watch her back. He also extorted a promise from her that if Snow ever contacted her again, she would call him immediately.

She heard from Finch and John periodically over the next two weeks whenever they needed some information but as for Snow, there was nothing. She didn't know it at the time, but that turned out to be the calm before the storm.

**************************

This time it was Carter who found the evidence first. Stuffed in the pocket of the victim of a robbery gone bad, was her card and another cryptic set of numbers. This time she knew what to do. When she got back to the precinct, she immediately looked up the man's home and employment addresses. Sure enough, the address of the company where the man worked matched the numbers on the card she'd found on his body. George Standler had worked at a small software company called Data Conclusions located on 6th and 24th in Queens. Using her smartphone as she rushed out of the precinct to her car, she found out from their website that the company had many R&D contracts with the government. A pattern was developing in her mind, but she didn't have time to fully develop the thought before she had to deal with an angry John Reese.

"You're WHAT?" He didn't raise his voice, but his tone became arctic. "I thought I was rather clear when I told you to call me the minute you had contact with Snow, Detective." Inwardly she cringed. She knew he was angry, and yes, she probably _should_ have called him when she found the card on Mr. Standler, but she was a big girl and could take care of herself.

Almost as if he could hear her thoughts, John said very carefully, "Do NOT, I repeat DO NOT engage Snow. He is more dangerous than you realize. I will be there as quickly as I can."

"John, I'm following a lead. It's my job. I'm an NYPD homicide detective. I can take care of myself. I'll see you when you get there." She disconnected the call, cutting off what he was about to say.

When she arrived on scene, there already were several cruisers out front, but it wasn't her fellow cops she was looking for when she opened her door, but rather a glimpse in the crowd of a partially bald head. _There!_ She saw him hovering at the edge of the crowd of onlookers. As soon as their eyes met, Snow hurried off down a nearby alley and ducked around a corner. John's warnings were ringing in her head, but she was afraid that she would lose Snow in the maze of buildings ahead so she hurried after him.

After following him down several more alleys and into a deserted building, she saw Snow slow down in front of her. Drawing her weapon, she approached him.

"What's going on here Snow?"

He turned around and faced her, a strange look on his face. Without warning, another man rushed from a hidden doorway and kicked her gun out of her hand. She didn't have a chance to even dive for it before he had a gun pointed at her. He'd also jumped back just out of range. She wouldn't be able to get to him before he could pull the trigger. He gestured with his gun for her to walk toward where Snow was waiting.

"What gives here Agent Snow? Where's your bomb vest and your mystery woman? Or were they both fake?" She tried to sound as calm as she could even though inside she was anything but.

He chuckled a little and said, "Oh she was real enough as was the bomb, but apparently she hadn't learned very much since I'd last tried to take her out. A job that your friend failed at, just like he's going to fail at hiding from me for much longer. She was careless enough not to check the wires on the bomb each time after she'd de-activated it. When she wasn't looking, I cut one of them so that while she thought she'd re-activated it, the signal wasn't sent to the device. I suspect along about now she's having a not so nice conversation with one of my associates."

"Didn't your mother ever teach you it's not nice to brag, Agent Snow? Why don't you just tell me what you want so we can get this over with? Why go to all this trouble to lure me here?"

"I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone." He grinned at her and she felt a wave of fear sweep over her. He reminded her of a great white she'd once seen in a nature show, large white teeth showing and the dead, flat eyes of a killer. "John will come after you and I'll take care of him once and for all…. And you my dear Carter, I'm afraid that my superiors think you know too much. Nothing personal you know." He shrugged and pointed the gun at her….


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Sorry it's been a few days folks… the holiday here was a bit busy **** I'm hoping to post the next chapter in the next two days cause I know I'm an evil woman for leaving it as I am below… also huge thanks to Maddsgirl75 for once more beta-ing my stuff!**

**Chapter 4**

_The blackness pulled her down and she felt herself drifting, no longer tied to anything. She could feel her arms and legs less and less with each passing second. Her ears heard the shots but her oxygen deprived brain didn't process them…._

"Joss! Joss, Baby! Can you hear me? Oh God! Please! Please come back to me!"

_Something stirred in her, she thought she should recognize that voice but…..distantly, she felt her shirt being ripped open, felt hands reaching for her, but that damn weight on her chest that just wouldn't let her BREATHE….._

"Joss, oh thank God**,** you remembered your vest! But did you have to put on such a cheap one?! I don't know if you've got any broken ribs. I can't tell with this thing on. Can you speak to me Joss? I have to get this thing off you, it's dented in all over from the bullet impacts**,** but I don't want to hurt you. Can you hear me sweetheart? Joss, damn it you're scaring me! Wake up! Come on!"

_John. It was John calling her. He was yelling at her for some reason. She wanted to open her eyes and tell him to shut the hell up. Tell him that he shouldn't be calling her Joss unless he was prepared for the consequences of that familiarity. But she could do none of that. The best she could manage was to gasp out… "can't…breathe…"_

"What was that baby? Did I hear you right, you can't breathe? Hang on a second, sweetheart. Let me get this thing off you. You stay with me, you hear me?"

_Damn, she wished he'd just leave her alone to go back to the blackness…back to where it didn't hurt so much…. 'Wait…what the hell was she thinking? Joss Carter never backed away from a fight! And if she'd heard him right….. She felt herself gently lifted off the ground, felt the straps around her shoulders and waist being loosened and then suddenly, the weight pushing in on her chest, the weight that had been keeping her from breathing in that blessed air, was gone. She was able to take a deep, painful breath, and then another and another. Nothing had ever seemed so wonderful!_

She opened her eyes when she felt John's hands running along her ribcage, checking to see if she had any broken ribs.

"John." She spoke quietly.

His eyes flew to her face and she saw the worry in them, and something else as well. "Joss, you gave me quite a scare sweetheart. You don't have any broken ribs, but I'm guessing they're very bruised."

"What did you call me?" She felt the pain recede just a little as the words she thought she'd heard sunk in.

"Joss, you mean?"

"No, the other."

"I'm sorry." He hung his head. "I was just so worried about you, worried that I'd gotten here too late again."

"I don't mind, John…." She had to stop and take several more breaths, "and I hope to hell you're NOT sorry…..or I'll shoot you myself."

The grin she saw spread across his face was like nothing she'd ever seen before. If she'd thought his everyday self was heart-stoppingly gorgeous, a smiling, happy John Reese was blindingly beautiful. Seeing the now exaltant look on his face revealed to her some of his former state of loneliness and her chest tightened with sadness.

Suddenly remembering that Snow had intended this to be a trap, she looked wildly around. "Snow! Where is he?...You have to get out of here! It's a trap!" She got more and more agitated both with her inability to speak without stopping for a deep breath and with his calm demeanor.

"Relax Joss. It's ok. Based on the blood spill, I was able to return the favor of you being shot, even if Snow DID get away. I took care of his associates. They won't be bothering us again."  
His words put her at ease, but at the same time reminded her of the painful bruising she had on her ribs. She tried to bite back a groan but he must have seen the look of pain on her face**.**

"Time to go Joss." He slid an arm under her knees and one gently underneath her lower back and picked her up in his arms. "Put your arms around me."

"Am I too heavy?" She asked with concern. The upright position helped stretch out her ribcage and she felt it was easier to take a breath.

"Of course not." His voice got lower and quieter. "I just wantedto feel your arms around me."

Now it was her turn to take his breath away with a smile. She did as he asked and put her arms around his neck, resting her head against his chest.

"I'm still really mad at you, you know. I TOLD you to wait for me! If you hadn't been wearing that vest… Joss, you….you were almost killed! Why didn't you LISTEN to me, damn it?"

"I know and I'm sorry. I nearly got us both shot. I'm just not used to relying on anyone else. First it was a partner I couldn't trust and then HR and at home, there's been just me for so long now….." Her voice faded but seconds later she quickly took her head off his chest. "Taylor? I need to…."

"It's ok, he's with Finch and Bear and on his way to your mom's house. He'll stay there until Finch can track down Snow using his magic." She sighed, grateful that he'd thought about the safety of her son as well, and all without her having to say anything. This man continually surprised her with his thoughtfulness and compassion for others.

John swiftly carried her to his car, walking as if she weighed nothing in his arms. She'd been dreaming about being this close to him for months and the reality was so much better than her imagination could ever have conjured up. She could hear his heart beating beneath her ear, strong and sure. His biceps bulged and rippled against her back and under her legs and his smell… God! His smell was nothing short of pure male with undertones of his body wash, gunpowder and sex. She saw his shirt gaping open in front of her eyes and she leaned into his bare skin and inhaled him. He shivered and she smiled to herself and kissed him there as well.

He looked down at her in his arms and said, "Please**,** don't." Her eyes fell and her cheeks heated as she was stung from his rejection.

"Not HERE Joss. I'm having a hard enough time keeping my hands where they belong as it is."

His words warmed her in places that hadn't come to life in a very long time. To think that he wanted her badly too! "What if I don't WANT you to keep your hands 'where they belong'? What if I think they belong somewhere else?" She asked coyly. She leaned in once more and this time nipped him on the exposed skin between his collarbones.

He growled and stopped walking. Leaning down, he slanted his mouth over hers, the burning caress of his lips on hers had her aching for him in seconds. She opened her mouth to allow his tongue entrance but he continued to lick and suck her lips, dominating her senses with the play of his tongue on her lips. She wanted more and tried to take it from him but repeatedly lost the duel with his and was unable to deepen the kiss. Finally, he pulled back from her, leaving her shaking and panting for air.

"I told you. You aren't ready for me to touch you the way I want to. Soon, but not yet, my Joss."

He resumed walking and she struggled against the pain in her chest caused by the bruises as she tried to calm her breathing and her racing heart. When they reached the car, he gently placed her in the passenger side and hurried around the car, slipping quickly inside. The engine roared to life and he smoothly pulled out into traffic.

*********************

"Where are we?" She asked as they pulled up in front of a tall building, one that looked like it had once been a warehouse, but had since been converted into lofts.

"My place. I doubt Snow is in any shape to worry about either of us right now, but I'm not taking any chances. You won't be back to your place until we've neutralized the threat to us all."

She chose not to argue the point at the moment, not wanting Taylor to see her like this anyway. Her poor son had been through enough without her adding to the burden by making him worry about her safety as well. She opened her car door and attempted to get out**,** but John was there in an instant, once more scooping her up in his arms.

"There's nothing wrong with my legs John." She protested.

"I know, but after seeing you lying there...on the ground and thinking I'd lost you, thinking I was too late, you'll forgive me if I want to keep you close. In fact Joss," He looked down at her with a ferociously intense look. "That's the price for dropping the issue of the way you put yourself in danger and how you went against what I told you. My price is that you give up your control and let me take care of you, and let me see to your needs, whatever they are."

His words sent a thrill of anticipation coursing through her body. What would it be like to have him in charge? Even as a child, she'd always had to take care of herself with her mother working long hours to support the family. Except for the brief time she'd been married, she'd always been in charge, always had to be the one to make the tough decisions. What would it feel like to not have that burden? Could she even allow herself to let go like that? It would take a huge amount of trust to surrender herself like that….Could she even trust John enough or would it be wiser to just take the tongue lashing and get it over with?

"Ok. I agree." She spoke suddenly, afraid she might change her mind.

"I knew you'd see it my way." He smirked and began unlocking the door in front of them. She frowned and opened her mouth to give him a sharp retort, but changed her mind and closed it. Perhaps if she did the unexpected, she could still maintain some control over the situation. At least that's what she told herself.

"What no snappy reply?" He asked, his eyebrows raised. She just shook her head and he gave her a strange look, obviously trying to figure her out. When her fingers began to caress the bare skin on his chest exposed by his open shirt, he sighed and seemed to give up for the time being.

"The first order of business is to get you soaking in a tub full of hot water. You need to get those muscles to relax and the blood moving so the bruising isn't quite so bad."

"Mmmm. That sounds wonderful." She replied. Baths were one of her guilty pleasures. She'd take several a day if given the chance. She only had a brief glimpse of his loft before he'd whisked her into the bathroom. She moaned in delight when she saw the size of the sunken tub against the far wall.

"What's wrong? Are you in pain?" John asked quickly, his eyes full of concern.

"No, I'm having tub envy right now."

He set her down and laughed. "Well, you're always welcome to come over and use mine. I won't mind." He grinned at her with a salacious look.

"Yeah, right. You'd like that wouldn't you?" She teased.

"Oh, my Joss I wouldn't be the only one." He whispered in a low, husky voice. She stood there for a minute, not quite sure how to react to his open invitation. Instead she watched as he turned on the faucet and adjusted the water temp. He looked up at her and saw that she hadn't moved.

"Aren't you going to get undressed?" He asked.

"Ummm…" Suddenly she felt as nervous as a teenager. She'd wanted to be here like this with him so many times, but what if he didn't like what he saw? What if he decided she wasn't his type? She wasn't a spring chicken anymore and motherhood had left its unmistakable marks on her body.

"Joss, you agreed. You said you'd let me take care of you." He reminded her. "Besides, with the pain you're in, you'll probably need someone to help you get your top off."

She blushed, realizing she'd mistaken his intent. He simply wanted to help her, he wasn't interested in… She was therefore taken aback by his next words.

"And Joss, don't think for a second that I don't want to see that beautiful body I've been fantasizing about, but your comfort is my first priority. Now, let me help you." He came to stand in front of her and then grabbed the hem of her shirt. "Lift your arms up if you can."

When she did so, she sucked in her breath as the movement sent sharp pains radiating throughout her chest. He murmured words of comfort as he slowly lifted the shirt off her. As soon as it was off, she dropped her arms with relief. He stepped even closer then, wrapping his arms gently around her. She leaned in and rested her cheek against his chest. In moments, she was surprised to feel his fingers on her back and then suddenly, the catch on her bra loosened and it slipped to the floor. She sucked in her breath as she felt her bare breasts unexpectedly rubbing against his shirt.

He pulled back just slightly and cupped her face in both his hands. "Do you need any more help with the rest of your clothes?" She shook her head and then his dipped down to softly brush his lips against hers. Once more she wanted to deepen the kiss but he didn't allow it. She sighed in frustration as he pulled away.

"I'll be right back, then." He said and chuckled at the scowl on her face. "Finish getting undressed and get in the tub." He turned around and quickly exited the bathroom.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Another restless night allowed me to finish this faster than I thought I would considering I became rather verbose in this part (John tends to do that to me.) For those of you anxiously awaiting the return of Snow, never fear, he's like the Terminator and no matter how hard you try, you…just…can't…kill…him! First though, John, Joss and I have some things we need to work out so hang tight and enjoy the ride! ;)**

**Chapter 5**

Joss removed the rest of her clothes as quickly as she was able and stepped into the tub. The water temperature was just how she liked it, just barely below scalding and she moaned with pleasure as it enveloped her entire body almost up to her neck. She lay back, closed her eyes and tried to relax, letting the hot water work its magic. She'd been relaxing for several minutes when she suddenly felt as if there was someone…. Opening her eyes, she jumped in surprise, splashing water out of the tub when she saw John sitting on a nearby bench watching her.

"John!" She exclaimed and gasped as her swift movement caused a stabbing pain in her chest. "What do you think you're doing?" She was glad she'd managed to get out at least that much because any coherent thought she might have had was sucked right out of her head when she noticed that he'd changed from his suit into a pair of black silk sleep pants…..and nothing else.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm admiring the view."

While she was still nervous about what he might think of her body, she was emboldened by his words. "Hmm… like what you see?" She purred and stretched as much as she was able to without pain.

"You have no idea how much, Joss." He paused and his eyes became a darker, more intense blue. "I think it's about time I helped you wash those hard to reach places." He got up from the bench and stalked towards her like a panther stalking its prey, never taking his eyes off hers.

"Umm, John that's not really…um…necessary." The closer he got, the more anxious she got.  
She'd never seen him so focused on anyone as he was on her. She wasn't sure just what he was going to do and that made her VERY nervous.

"Maybe, maybe not…" Was all he said, kneeling down at the side of the tub.

He reached his arm across her chest and grabbed a bottle of body wash. She tried to hide the disappointment when it wasn't HER he'd been reaching for.

"Sorry**,** all that I have is the body wash I use. I've never had a guest here before." His words both thrilled her and made her smile because she was _glad_ to hear that he wasn't in the habit of entertaining female guests and because the thought of using HIS body wash, of being surrounded by HIS scent had her body thrumming all over.

"I _like_ the way you smell." She answered in a low, throaty voice. She leaned over and inhaled his skin, right where his neck and shoulder joined. Not content with just smelling him, she decided she also wanted to taste him and proceeded to lick his skin in the same spot. When he groaned, she quickly did it again, enjoying his reaction. Without warning, his mouth slammed down on hers and he nipped her bottom lip. When she gasped as a result, he quicklythrust his tongue inside her mouth and it was Joss's turn to groan with pleasure. He took charge of the kiss and used his tongue to explore every inch of her mouth, caressing her from the inside and working his way out, only to plunge back in again. Even though the only place that their bodies were touching was their mouths, Joss's entire body reacted. Her breasts became heavy with desire, her nipples tightened and that hidden place between her legs began to throb. Had they continued the kiss, she had no doubt whatsoever that he could have had her coming just by the touch of his kisses on her lips and in her mouth. As it was, he pulled back all too soon and she whimpered, not wanting to give up the wonderful feeling of being kissed by him after all this time she'd spent waiting and dreaming about these moments.

He sucked in deep breaths and said, "If we don't stop now, I'm going to drag you out of that bath tub and onto my lap and I won't be responsible for what happens after that."

"Then do it." She said eagerly, even rising up to get out…..but she didn't get very far before she was wincing.

"That my sweet, is precisely why I won't. Now, let me wash your back. I promised I'd take care of you." She leaned forward a bit and he squirted some soap into his hands, lathered them up and proceeded to use his long fingers to work the lather over her skin.

"Your skin is so soft, Joss. It makes me wonder which other parts of your body are soft as well." Damn! She thought. First his mouth and then his words had her all hot and flushed and almost begging for him to take her! She wasn't quite sure how she was going to survive the night in his company if he didn't DO something about the way he was making her feel. She tried to think of a plan, but his fingers had moved to her sides and under her arms and she just couldn't get her mind to work right while she was anticipating his touch moving to the front of her body. She was barely able to bite back a cry of disappointment when he shifted, not to her chest, but towards her feet. Once more he lathered up his hands and this time gestured for her to give him her foot. His fingers again worked their magic and she sighed repeatedly as they worked the tension out of several places and her body began to further relax. He finally moved his hands up from her feet to her legs and over the next few minutes proceeded to work those wonderfully strong hands further and further up her legs. She began to anticipate those hands on her and wondered just how far up her thighs he would go. Once more though, she was disappointed when his hands stopped at the top of her thighs and he sat back on his heels.

"I think you can manage the rest. Let me get some towels for you. I'll be right back."

'Where was he finding the control?!' She wondered as she washed the more intimate parts of her body. She was pretty sure he was interested. He'd said as much both with his words and actions. So why wasn't he taking this to the next step? His in-action was driving her crazy! Ok, so she was hurting some, big deal. She'd have to be on her deathbed, NOT to want him! Even then, she'd probably _still_ want him, even if she wasn't able to follow through on it! His return put a halt to her musings and she began to anxiously await what would happen after she got out of the bath.

"Ready to get out?" He asked. She simply nodded and began to gather her legs underneath her to step out of the bath. "Wait!" He spoke quickly. "We can't take the chance you might slip and fall and injure those ribs further. Let me help you." Before she could utter a protest, he'd reached in and once more scooped her up. He stood her on her feet and quickly wrapped a towel around her, not even looking at her body before he covered her up. She frowned at him but he didn't seem to notice as he picked her up and carried her out of the bathroom and into the main loft area which was softly lit by two lamps near the bed.

"At this rate John, my legs are going to forget how to walk!" She couldn't help letting her some of her frustration with his lack of attention to the _important_ issues, namely how badly she wanted him to touch her, leak out into her words.

"You agreed you'd let me have the control Joss. At least for tonight, that means I get to carry you _wherever _and _whenever_ I want." When they'd reached the bed, she became a bit more hopeful and decided not to tell him where he could stick his control issues.

"Lie on your stomach please." He asked her quietly and though she was puzzled, she complied. "I want to make sure that your muscles are good and loose and the circulation to them is good. It'll cut down on the bruising."

"Ok," She drew out the one word to let him know she wasn't understanding where he was going with this. The next second, she let out a squeak as he pulled the towel away from her body, exposing her entirely from the back.

"Relax Joss, I'm just going to give you a massage." He walked away from her at that point and grabbed a bottle from the nightstand on the other side of the bed. When she felt his weight dip the mattress down as he sat and then as he moved across the bed, she couldn't help but think it was the sexiest thing she'd felt, barring his touch. She hadn't slept with anyone in a long time and the idea that there was now another person, that HE, was in the bed with her while she lay there totally naked, caused her to become damp between her legs.

He settled down by her bare ass and she couldn't help but glance over her shoulder at him to see if he was looking at her.

"Look at me like that again and one of us will have to take a cold shower." He warned her as he rubbed his hands together, warming up the massage lotion. She glanced down at his lower half, noting that his pants had slipped a bit lower on his hips and she couldn't help but lick her lips.

"Joss…." He growled as he watched her reaction. "I didn't say it would be me…."

She swung her head forward to rest on her forearms but not before she said, "You're all talk and no action John Reese."

Before she knew it, he'd rolled her onto her back and pinned her body down underneath his. His mouth once more swooped down and took hers, his lips and tongue showing no mercy as he plundered her mouth over and over and over until she was drunk and dizzy with his kisses. She also felt a hardness prodding her belly and she moaned as he pushed at her softness. Suddenly, he pulled back and she could feel his body shaking as he fought for control.

"Damn you woman, have you no thought for yourself or for me?! I'm having enough trouble controlling myself and then you throw temptation at me again and again!" He spoke with vehemence but then softened his next words. "Joss, baby, I've wanted you for so long, waited for this, for so long, I can hardly believe that you're here with me. I want our first time together to be special and right now, you're not ready for the things I want to do to you. Now please, roll back over and let me give you that massage." He got off of her and she obediently did as he asked. She couldn't help but lie there though and think about his words, _'you're not ready for the things I want to do to you'. _Those words_,_ combined with his hands moving firmly up her back, had her brain caught up in a maelstrom of desire. His hands felt so good, rubbing all the tension and pain out of her ribcage and back, she had to bite down on her arm to keep the moans from escaping her. Repeatedly, his hands moved along her sides and occasionally, his fingers would brush up against the sides of her breasts. She shivered when they did and the area between her legs became wetter and wetter.

"Are you cold Joss?" He finally asked.

"N…no… I'm fine."

"Then try and relax, you can let me know if you like something, you don't have to be so silent." He leaned down and kissed her neck and then trailed kisses downwards along her spine.

"Oh, John!" She moaned as he used his thumbs on either side of her spine and pressed outwards. He kissed his way down her back and then returned back up to her neck.

"Roll over now, sweetheart. Time to see to those bruised ribs of yours." Joss was breathing hard as he placed his hands on her shoulders, right over her collarbones and gently but firmly pushed down and outwards towards her arms. He looked into her eyes as he repeated the action and then moved lower on her chest. He continued to follow her sternum down and pushing outwards and downwards, his hands ghosting over her breasts but avoiding her nipples. As he moved downwards, following the contours of her rib cage, the back of his hands brushed the undersides of her breasts and she couldn't help the moan that escaped her lips. John didn't visibly react but rather continued back up her chest, again brushing over her breasts but not touching her where she most wanted him to. Her nipples became hard little peaks and she moaned once more as he started back down her chest.

"John…" she said in a breathless voice. "John, please." She pleaded with him. How could he not feel what he was doing to her?

"What is it sweetheart? What do you need?"

"I need you to touch me John. Please." She grabbed ahold of his hands and placed them on her breasts. "Please."

"Like this, my Joss?" He asked, rolling her nipples between his fingers until they became diamond hard little peaks.

"Yes! Oh God, yes! Please!"

"Or do you mean like this?" He leaned down and drew one into his mouth and began to suck on it greedily.

"John!" She gasped and moaned as the deep pulls of his mouth shot feelings from her nipples almost directly down between her legs. "Don't stop! Please!" She brought her hands up and ran her fingers through his short hair. He pulled his mouth back a little without releasing her nipple and the tugs combined a little pain with the pleasure until she was moaning almost continuously as he paid homage to her breasts.

Her sex was now drenched and she could feel herself building and building but she still wanted and needed more of him. "John!" She called his name. "John….I…..I…."

"What is it, sweetheart? What do you need?"

"I need you, now! Please, I need you inside me NOW!"

"Ah, my Joss, that's what you _want_ not what you _need_. I promised to see to your every _need. _I didn't say I'd be able to satisfy your every want." His fingers continued to manipulate her nipples as he spoke, giving her no surcease from the building tension.

"John!" She practically yelled his name, not caring who heard her. "Please, don't make me beg!"

"No, not THIS time, my dear. Let me see what I can do to take the edge off at least."

He shifted himself downwards, slowly licking a path from her nipples down to her belly button. He swiped across her skin with that hot tongue and then breathed on her wet skin to cool her, all while his fingers were keeping up the manipulation of her nipples. It was driving her wild, the heat and the cold and the anticipation as he moved downwards again….slowly, downwards. He stopped just above the triangle of dark curls and spoke in a low, raspy voice.

"Open for me, baby."

Any thought of denying him went right out the window when he nipped the inside of her right thigh. Her legs fell open and he settled himself between them. "More baby, open more for me. Show me that wet, hot, beautiful place inside you that's just for me."

When she spread her legs further open, she felt so exposed and vulnerable, she would have closed them again if his head hadn't already dived down and his tongue….Oh God his tongue! He started out caressing her lightly with it, exploring the folds that she'd opened for him. His tongue darted inside her sex once, then twice and she moaned as he increased the pressure just a bit. She tried to squirm down a little so that his tongue would be in just the right place but he growled and pulled back from her.

"Not yet, my Joss. I've been starving for a taste of you for so long, I won't deny myself this feast in front of me."

His words swamped her with a fresh wave of desire and the fact that he wouldn't come inside her had her panting, and her skin became flushed and damp. He once more dove down between her legs and then sucked in first one, then the other of her labia.

She moaned, both from the pleasure his tongue was creating and the frustration over the fact that he wasn't increasing the pressure, wasn't touching that bundle of nerves that was throbbing for his attention! He ran the rough edge of his tongue around and around the rim of her clit and then soothed the area with his soft lips but still, he was driving her crazy without any relief. She cried out to him, begging him to stop torturing her. All he did for several minutes was to continue to use his tongue around her clit with occasional plunges into her sex, ignoring her pleas to end the torment and enter her. At that point she bucked under him and began fighting him. He held her down and growled against her in displeasure but the vibrations it caused had her crying out and fighting him the more. Finally, he must have decided it was time to end things and give her the release she desperately needed because he pulled back and spoke.

"Calm down Joss, I've got you, baby."

He then latched onto her clit and sucked hard at the same time pinching and tugging her nipples. That was all it took. She heard herself screaming and calling his name, but she didn't care as the most intense climax she'd ever had hit her. Her body shook and convulsed as he nipped her clit twice more, pushing her over the edge even further. He sat up and pulled her limp body up into his arms until she quieted.

"I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you for that." She said with a feeble voice.

He smiled against her neck but said nothing. Instead he lay down with her still in his arms and pulled her even closer. His lips moved over her face and to the top of her head where he rested his chin.

"Go to sleep Joss, I'll keep the monsters away." He spoke softly but she was already falling asleep, enveloped in his warm, strong embrace.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: So sorry dear readers, I know it's been awhile but life is what happens when you're making other plans and things have been rather hectic on several fronts lately. But enough of that! I know you're all waiting to see what happens next so I won't ramble any more except to wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah and whatever else you chose to celebrate! P.S. Thanks go out to my awesome beta, Maddsgirl75. **

**Chapter 6**

Joss woke into consciousness slowly and piecemeal. Her ears didn't pick up the normal noise of cars on the street in front of her apartment as they should have. The sheets that were surrounding her were much softer than her $20 bargain bin find ones. She didn't hear Taylor moving around in the living room as she normally did when she woke. All these discrepancies registered in her sleepy brain but she didn't seem to be able to come up with an explanation for them. Blinking her eyes open, she immediately saw a set of blue eyes watching her and it all came crashing back in like a tidal wave…..Snow's treachery, being shot, the revelation of John's feelings for her and then last night… holy crap!...last night John had taken her to a place she'd only been dreaming about going with him! She turned to see John stretched out next to her on the bed while at the same time; she stretched her arms up over her head. A sharp pain in her rib cage had her gasping and John's look of affection turned to concern.

"Take it easy sweetheart. Those ribs are going to be sore for a bit longer."

"Hmmm." She just answered and rolled over on her side to face him. Her lips formed a frown as she noticed that while John was lying next to her, he had on one of his long-sleeved white button down shirts.

"Are you going somewhere?" She asked, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice. In every dream she'd ever had of waking up next to the man, she'd never dreamed that he'd be fully clothed!

"Yes, after breakfast I intend to find out where Snow has gone to ground. He'll _have_ to seek medical care for those gunshot wounds I gave him and there are only so many places he can get it while remaining anonymous."

"Ok, I'll just get dressed and…." She started to say.

"Oh no Carter, you are staying here. It's too dangerous out there for you right now. I'm the one Snow wants and as long as I remain out there in the field and he has a chance at me, he'll leave you alone."

"Exactly!" She sat up and tilted her head to the side, giving him a hard look but trying to remain calm and rational. "He'll leave me alone in favor of taking a shot at you, and that's just when I can get at _him."_

"But if you were to leave my apartment, he just might take you out, this time successfully, thinking to hurt and weaken me. Snow made a mistake in underestimating you. He won't make that same mistake again. Next time it'll be a kill shot to the head and you'll never see it coming. Nope, you're going to stay here until I can take care of our friend Snow."

"And what if you can't do that today? Tomorrow? Next week? Do you expect me to sit here and just wait for you to make me safe? What about my job John? If I'm stuck in here, I'm not out doing my job, stopping criminals before they hurt other people. Oh no," She shook both her head and her finger at that point. "I am NOT going to hole up here indefinitely. I'll take extra precautions but I AM going to go do my job."

John glowered at her for a second and then his expression softened. "Joss, when I lost….when I lost Jessica, it damn near killed me. It certainly killed the best part of me, leaving me…. as a sudden stranger in this body. Who was I supposed to become next when the best part of me died with her? I've asked myself over and over, who am I now?" He paused and took a deep breath and she reached out a hand to him and grabbed one of his. "It's only now, with you, that I'm starting to see that maybe the best part of me isn't dead. Barely breathing, but maybe, just maybe with you, I can bring it back to life. But Joss, if something were to happen to you…I know there'd be nothing left of me but this shell of a body, there would no longer be a soul in me that might be worth saving."

Her eyes widened as the import of his words sunk in. He was asking her to be the center of his world. Not in so many words of course, but to lay such a responsibility at her feet. Was she ready to sign up for this? Could she give him what he needed? Was there enough left of her own heart after her husband's desertion and caring for Taylor, was there enough left to give to him? She knew she had to decide if she could handle what it would be like to be involved in a relationship to him, a wanted man, a man with a dangerous job and who might someday not come back to her at all. Could she give him her all despite all that, because he deserved nothing less.

"John, I….." He looked in her eyes and something he saw must have upset him because he turned away. She put her fingers gently on his chin and turned him to look at her once more. "I'm not Jessica. You can't protect me by putting me in a bubble. You're asking me to accept that you will be doing dangerous things, things that might cost you your life. You're asking me to live with the fact that every time you walk out that door, it might be the last time I see you."

"I understand Joss. I'm sorry to have…" He spoke softly and disconsolately and she had to interrupt him before he went on.

"No John, you're misunderstanding what I'm saying here. What you're asking of me, is the same thing I'm going to have to ask of you. You're going to have to accept that if I'm doing _my_ job, there's a chance that I might not come home one of these days and there will be nothing you can do about it. That's the only way that this would or could work. Do you understand that? I can't keep you from doing what you must any more than you can keep me. Can you accept that John?"

He was silent for a minute or two, contemplating what she'd said and finally spoke. "Yes Joss, I can accept that if it means we might have a chance. I want that more than anything I've ever wanted. I want a chance to be with you and make you happy and start to feel like a whole man once more."

A huge smile spread across her face as she said, "Then I think we ought to see this bargain with…"

"A kiss!" He quickly interjected instead of what she was going to say. She opened her mouth to disagree but he spoke quickly again saying, "I won't touch you in that way Joss, not until you're healed more."

"I'm fine John." She replied, her fingers tangling in his shirt front and pulling him closer to her. "I don't mind, really."

"No!" He spoke firmly and seriously. "Don't ask me to do something that would hurt you sweetheart, I won't. Not ever."

Joss sighed deeply and said, "Alright then come over here big boy and give me that kiss you promised."

Their lips met and she sighed as he began to nibble on her bottom one. She thrust her fingers through his hair and pulled him even closer to her, causing him to wrap his arms around her. She didn't even notice when the sheet she was holding in front of her bare chest dropped. 'Yes!' She thought. 'I can do this, I want this man more than anything. I want to call him mine.' John then deepened the kiss and both of them thrust their tongues into each other's mouths, she possessed him and he possessed her in equal measure. As the passion of the kiss took over both her mind, she felt her bare breasts rubbing against his rough shirt and her muscles down below clenched in reaction. She began to purposefully rub herself up against him, wondering how quickly she could get the shirt off him. Just then, he pulled back and released her, his hands dropping into his lap and his head bowing as he gasped in air like he'd run a marathon.

"You're making it very hard to resist you Joss." He finally forced out as he regained control of his body.

"Hm. So?" She asked innocently, once more reaching out her hands to touch him.

"So," He grabbed her hands and pulled them off of him but smiled to take the sting out of his action. "So, you should go jump in the shower while I make breastfast….err breakfast." He quickly corrected himself.

She smiled a knowing kind of smile and thrust her chest out. "See anything you like there John?"

He tilted his head to the side. "Well if you mean those lovely round breasts you have that fit perfectly in my hands and are tipped with two chocolate kisses that I'm longing to take into my mouth right now, then nope, nothing out of the ordinary to see." He smirked at her.

"OH you!" She smiled and grabbed a pillow and whapped him with it.

"And I sure didn't notice how they just bounced suggestively." He laughed and ducked as she threw the pillow at him this time.

"Fine!" She said, getting up from the bed, preparing to flounce off into the bathroom. Suddenly though, she stopped short. "Um, John, what am I going to do about clothes?"

"Wondered when you'd think about that or if perhaps you were planning on lying around here naked and waiting for me to get back after all." He smirked at her and walked over to a chest of drawers and pulled out some women's clothes. "When you agreed to work with us, Finch had a personal shopper buy you several changes of clothes and he's left a few at each of his safe houses for you just in case."

"Really?" She wasn't sure how she felt about Finch having gone to so much trouble for her…and how did he know her size besides? She took the clothes from John and turned to go to the bathroom and get cleaned up.

When she was done, she came back out to the main loft space to find John cooking breakfast. "I hope you like pancakes." He said.

"I do but you didn't have to go to so much trouble on my account. We could have just gotten something at a coffee shop." She said and seated herself down on a stool in front of the island where the stovetop was located.

"It's no trouble. Besides, I like having someone to cook for. I don't normally bother when it's just me." He set a plate in front of her covered in steaming hot pancakes. They smelled delicious.

"Ohhhh! These are heavenly and so moist! Do I detect a hint of banana too?" She smiled and closed her eyes as she chewed.

"Yes you do. I'm glad you like them." He smiled sweetly at her and brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. "I think I could get used to waking up with you and making you breakfast."

Joss leaned into his caress. "Me too."

Their breakfast was interrupted a few minutes later when John's phone rang. He touched his omnipresent earbud.

"Yes, Finch?" He listened for a second. "Are you sure? Can you get any footage from the hospital cameras? Ok, I'll be right there." He tapped his earbud and disconnected the call. Joss looked at him inquiringly.

"Finch found a report of a woman who was badly beaten who sought treatment at New York-Presbyterian. She gave a fake name and as soon as she was treated for several broken bones, she disappeared. From the description, it sounds like Kara."

"You mean your ex-partner? The one who shot you? So Snow _wasn't _lying when he sent his goons after her?"

"That's what it looks like. I'm sorry Carter, but I'm going to have to get down there and check this out. Please, for my sake, can you _try _and stay close to the precinct today or do I have to sic Lionel on you?" He grinned at her. She grumbled a bit but agreed to work at her desk and catch up on some paperwork. He leaned down and swiftly kissed her and pressed a key into her hand.

"Thank you. I'll see you tonight, Joss." The low and husky tone he used sent shivers of anticipation running down her spine. She just nodded and watched him shrug his suit jacket on and then his driving coat. When he was gone, she cleaned up the remains of breakfast and locking the door behind her, she flagged a cab to take her to work.

* * *

When she arrived at the main desk in the precinct, the desk sergeant, who rarely noticed her, suddenly gave her a smirk as she walked by. As she made her way to her desk, many of her fellow detectives followed her with their eyes and not a few of them seemed to be hiding smiles behind their hands. She wondered what was going on when she reached her desk only to see it covered in bananas.

"What the hell is going on here?" She asked loudly, looking around her and seeing countless pairs of eyes on her.

"We heard about your 'accident' Carter and wanted to make sure you knew what to look for the next time!" Someone shouted from a few desks over.

Carter gave a quick grimace of a smile and then dropped it quickly. She was going to KILL Fusco!

"What the hell is going on here? What did you tell everyone about yesterday?" She hissed at him when he returned to his desk. She was debating on what to do with the bunches and bunches of bananas.

"Whadda want me to tell 'em? That you got shot and got saved from dyin' by your guy in a suit?" Fusco said defensively. "I told the guys that you were chasing a suspect outta this bodega and ya slipped on a banana peel and took a hard fall."

"WHAT?" She almost yelled at him and then had to lower her voice as people started giving her strange looks. "Are you kidding me Fusco? That was the best you could come up with? A banana peel?"

"Yeah well next time you and Wonderboy come up with your own story before you call me to cover for your ass."

Carter took a deep breath. "Alright Fusco. Thanks for covering for me, I _do _appreciate it." She paused and then said, "But you're taking some of these bananas home with you tonight!" Fusco smiled at her and she knew she was forgiven for seeming ungrateful. That was the thing with Fusco, he was easily riled but he never held a grudge.

She cleared her desk off by tucking the bananas into a partial empty file cabinet and got down to work. This was the one part of her job that she hated….deskwork. Consequently, there were _always_ files that needed to be updated and forms that needed to be filled out heaped in neat piles on her desk. She may be a procrastinator about this stuff, but she _was_ at least neat about it. The morning passed by in a blur of triplicate forms and evidence bags being filed. However, each time she got up from her desk, she'd come back and find another banana on her desk. Damn! She thought after the fifth time it happened. There was no way she could complain about it, that's just how the guys in her precinct worked. She knew the more she'd complain, the more it would happen. So she just sighed and put the latest banana in the almost stuffed file cabinet and tried to ignore it. She prayed they'd get bored of it soon and move onto ribbing someone else.

"Ya wanna get some lunch?" Fusco finally asked her. "We could stick around here if you wanna." Carter didn't miss the look of eagerness he shot her. She knew if he said they'd 'stick around here', he was hoping to inveigle her to visit his favorite hot dog street vendor. He had a fondness for the things that was legendary.

"Yeah, sure Fusco. Give me twenty minutes?" It would take _at least_ that long for the Prevacid to kick in, a necessary evil if she was going to be eating at Fusco's favorite place. He nodded and in less than half an hour, they were carrying their dogs back into the precinct to eat at their desks. She was barely able to suppress the exasperated look when she came back and there was a large box on her desk. If this box was filled with bananas, she decided she didn't have to be responsible for the words that came out of her mouth. Sitting down in front of the box, she saw that it was addressed to**_ Detective Carter – eyes only_**.

She thought she should recognize the handwriting but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Looking around and seeing that the place was practically empty for lunch, she quickly cut open the box. Inside there were two other boxes, one small and one large, heavy one. So, not bananas probably, she smiled. The smaller box had a note attached she saw. _**Open first**._

She unwrapped the box and gasped. Inside lay an ankle bracelet with alternating gold X's and large ruby hearts. The note inside read: **_A small token to remind you that you have my heart. – J_**.

Carter sat back in her chair, stunned. She had his heart? A smile split her face. She certainly hoped so; she hoped so with every fiber of her being. Eager to see what was in the second box, she quickly unwrapped it too and realized why the box was so heavy. Inside lay an Interceptor body vest. She knew the vest type was better even than the ones issued by the Army, much less to a lowly cop. These vests could stop not only shrapnel, but a bullet from an AK-47! Once more, she found a note in the box. **_It seems only fair that if I give you my heart, I should do everything in my power to protect yours_**.

Tears sprang to her eyes and she couldn't believe she was getting so emotional over body armor, but she had to get up and go to the ladies room to regain her composure. Once there, she blotted at her eyes and then leaned down and fastened John's ankle bracelet on. As she suspected, it was not visible under her pant leg but rather very comfortable. She could wear it all the time and think of John and no one would even know. She vowed there and then to find something special to give to him but in the meantime, she wanted to do something nice for him tonight. She walked back to her desk and the rest of her day was divided between filling out paperwork and planning a surprise for him.

Just as she was about to leave for the evening, Carter called her son and let him know she was alright but that she'd have to stay away from him for a bit as she worked a case. She also made sure that he knew he had to keep one of the bodyguards Finch had sent with him at all times. In a typical teenage fashion, he just shrugged it off. He was fine with it as long as he could still spend time with his friends. Carter hung up the phone and guilted Fusco into taking the bananas to a homeless shelter around the corner. Her last stop was the bathroom where she put on her new vest. Hailing a cab, she gave him the address for a bodega two blocks from John's loft. She needed to hurry if she was going to get everything in place before he got back.

* * *

Two hours later, John arrived at his apartment only to unlock the door and find the place filled with smoke.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Hope you all had a great holiday! I had originally intended for this fic to be only 3 or 4 chapters but it seems to have taken on a life of its own plus all of your reviews have spurred me to want to write more. (Thank you all who've taken time to write one.) Since I'm not quite sure where I want to go with this, it might take a bit in between updates as I work out the plot in my head. Either way, there are at least two more chappies that I can think up as of now. So, without further ado, I give you our favorite couple, Reese and Carter….**

**Chapter 7**

"Joss! Joss!" She heard John shout somewhere in the direction of the door. At least she _thought_ it was coming from that direction, with all the smoke billowing from the oven and filling the place, it was hard to tell.

"I'm…" she struggled against the urge to cough, "I'm in here!" She turned once more to fill up the bowl she had with water, praying that she could get the flames out in time before they were no longer contained inside the stove. Suddenly, John's shape materialized next to her and she jumped.

"Stand back, Joss." He said between coughs. Without warning, John opened the oven door and pointed a fire extinguisher at the flames inside. Within seconds the fire was out.

"If you wanted me to move in with you Carter, all you had to do was ask." He smirked. "You didn't have to burn my place down."

Joss smiled and then her face fell. "I was just trying to do something nice for you. Trying to make you a nice dinner after all you did for me today…. I guess I'm just not any good at gourmet cooking." She'd lowered her face, not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes. She'd always been able to manage a few basic comfort meals, but this was why she and Taylor often ate take-out or he'd cook himself. Her mom had always despaired of the fact that she'd been unable to teach her daughter how to cook properly but Joss was convinced that if she just followed the recipe…

"Hey," John said quietly and tilted her chin up with his fingers so that she was looking him in the eyes. "You don't have to do things for me just because I do something for you. This thing between you and I, we aren't keeping score here Joss. I did something nice for you because I wanted to, not because I felt like I had to and I hope that you'll feel the same. I'd hate to think you'd be doing something nice for me simply because you feel obligated."

Joss bit her lip and said, "Of course. I really _wanted_ to make you a meal after you'd been out all day. I thought we could talk about what's going on during dinner and then…" her voice trailed off and she smiled sheepishly.

"Why Detective, are you trying to seduce me?" He chuckled at her embarrassed look. His eyes took on a heated look. "Oh my Joss, do I look like the type of guy who'd need a frou-frou dinner before taking you to bed?" He leaned in closer.

Her eyes widened and she shook her head. "No John, you.." she never got to finish her sentence as his mouth suddenly swooped down on hers and he took possession of her lips. He took several soft swipes across her lips with his tongue before he drew her bottom lip into his mouth. As she opened her mouth slightly to moan, he quickly released her lip and drove his tongue into her mouth.

Joss could feel her knees going weak so she threw her arms around his neck as he explored her mouth. His mouth seemed to become greedier and greedier as he sucked on her lips and drove his tongue in and out of her mouth, mimicking another act that had her squeezing her legs together to avoid the feeling. John, though, was having none of that**.** With a growl, one if his knees pried apart her legs and he quickly took advantage and stepped between them.

His hands moved from the back of her head, where they had been pinning her against his mouth, down her body to her hips. He grasped the back of her thighs, and lifted her up just a bit while thrusting his hips forward. Joss gasped as she felt his hard arousal rubbing right at that most sensitive place between her legs. She moaned once more as he began moving her up and down his body in small movements, that part of him that she most craved at the moment, driving her wild as he used it to rub her over and over. Her lips left his as she threw her head back and began to pant. He took advantage of her exposed neck**, **sucking on it just below her ear.

"Oh John!" She cried out as her legs stiffened and waves of pleasure swamped her body. He continued his movement, drawing her orgasm on and on until she became limp in his arms.

"You OK, Joss?" He whispered against her neck. Joss picked her head up off his shoulder where it had been resting and shook her head, laughing a little.

In response to his puzzled look, she said, "only you John Reese would be talented enough to make a woman come while we're both still fully clothed!"

"Oh not just _any_ woman, my Joss, you and only you. And I can't wait to get you…" John was interrupted by a loud growling noise.

"Was that you?" She asked, snorting as the rumbling and growling repeated itself.

"Apparently, I'm going to need to eat something before **I **get to have you for desert." He laughed. "Come on, let's let this place clear out. I know the perfect place to eat and it's quick and nearby."

She liked the sound of that, especially the quick part and leaned in to give him a quick kiss as they walked out the door.

***********************  
John's quick and easy place ended up being Dianne's Diner, two blocks away from his loft. She smiled as they slid into a booth opposite each other. It seemed that they were always meeting up in diners these days. Their waitress pranced up with menus and when she got a look at John, her mouth practically dropped on the floor. Joss had always noticed how other women reacted to John before, but it hadn't bothered her as much as it was bothering her now.

"What can I get for ya, Darlin?" The waitress simpered at John. _Back off lady, he's mine! _She wanted to tell the well endowed blonde as she leaned down, pointing at John's menu, promptly showing off her assets. "These are our specialties." She said to him.

John didn't even look at the woman, but instead looked up and said. "You first, Joss."

The waitress's eyes narrowed as she looked over at Joss and waited impatiently for her order. "I'll have a cheeseburger with sweet potato fries."

"That's it?" She spoke condescendingly, obviously thinking that Joss was no threat to her continued flirting.

"Yes, I have everything I need right here." Joss answered and ever so slightly, drew back her suit jacket to reveal her gun clipped to her belt. "Water will do fine." The waitress's eyes widened and she couldn't take John's order fast enough before making a quick retreat.

John's eyes twinkled and remained on hers, "Do I even want to know what just happened?"

She smiled and shook her head. "So, what did you find out at the hospital today?"

"I showed Stanton's picture around and several of the nurses were able to confirm that the injured woman was indeed her. I had Finch pull up the security camera footage in and around the hospital and was able to follow her trail into an abandoned warehouse. When I got there though, she was gone."

"How did she get out without Finch seeing her?"

"I think she's been using the sewer tunnels to get around unseen. There was an entrance to them under the building where she disappeared."

"Well, if she's being that cautious in avoiding any type of camera, what does that mean John? Could she know that they could be used to track her?" Carter asked urgently.

"I suspect she does. Even if she has no idea that Finch can use the cameras, she knows that the government has been using facial recognition software for years. She _could _just be using the tunnels to avoid detection by the CIA."

"Hmm. Something to consider. Do you think the CIA knows she's alive?" She asked.

John shook his head**.** "Depends on if Snow has had a chance to check in with his superiors or not. I know they've always given him a long leash, but this time, he stepped over the line in trying to take you out. Or maybe they'll be worried that Kara has flipped him. You said that they tried to find him through you when you called his cell**,** correct?" Carter nodded. "Well, then they'll be wondering where he's been all this time. As soon as he pops up on their radar, he'll be yanked back to Washington to explain himself." They had to pause as the waitress brought them their orders.

"Well, let's hope that's sooner rather than later."

"Don't worry Joss. I told you you weren't alone and I meant it. I'll be here for you." He reached over and stroked her cheek and she covered his hand in hers, rubbing her cheek against his hand.

"I know. I just want you to be careful. Snow is out there still looking for your head on a platter and don't forget Donnelly is still after the 'man in a suit' and there's that NYPD task force that also want a piece of you."

"The only one I give a damn about wanting me is you Joss."

"John, do you really have to ask? You know I do. It's YOU who keeps putting ME off!" She ended the last sentence with a frustrated tone and a sigh.

"Patience my Joss, good things come to those who wait. How are your bruises feeling today?"

"Fine, never better." She almost snapped.

John tilted his head sideways a bit and gave her one of his patented smirks. "You wouldn't just be saying that now would you Joss?"

"Why don't you check for yourself when we get back?" She gave him a smirk right back.

"Perhaps I will."

His words sent a thrill of pleasure through her body causing her nipples to tighten and dampness to appear between her legs. Damn! That man had her wanting him by just uttering a few words in that low, sexy whisper of a voice of his! She knew she had to change the subject, and quickly, or she would find herself jumping over the table and attacking him right here and now!

"I could have just about killed Fusco today." She proceeded to tell him about the banana excuse he'd given everyone and she was rewarded by a full on laugh from him. She smiled, never having seen this side of him before. It made her a little sad actually that he was so rarely this happy. She vowed to herself to do whatever it took to give him as many of these happy moments as she could. They passed the rest of the meal together, laughing and smiling at each other's stories of their jobs and in her case, she shared some of her favorite "Taylor moments" as she called them.

After they paid the bill and got up to leave, Joss reached over and grabbed John's hand as they walked towards the door. Once they reached it though, he withdrew his hand from hers and she couldn't help but look at him with a hurt look.

"Joss, please don't look at me like that baby. I brought you here because there aren't any cameras. Once we go back out, anyone looking hard enough could track me down and if we were seen holding hand..."

"Oh." She nodded and looked down, relieved that he wasn't suddenly rejecting her. "I wish…." Her voice trailed off without finishing her sentence.

"I know, me too, Joss….me too." He said softly.

They were each lost in their own thoughts and it was for this reason, that neither of them saw the next set of events coming. Joss was walking a few steps behind John when he suddenly disappeared. Pulling her gun from its holster, she slowly crept forward and stopped at the head of an alley and peered around the corner. She saw a dark-haired woman, with several bandages holding John at gunpoint. Her heart wanted to rush in and shoot her before she could hurt him, but her instincts as a cop kept her rooted where she was as she assessed the situation.

"Well John, long time no see. Where is he John?"

He just shrugged. "Nice to see you too Kara. I have no idea who you're talking about though."

"Don't play that game with me John! We both know that Snow is after you. I took him out of the equation for you for a while, but he's on his own once more and after both of us now. We need to take him out before he can get either of us."

"Are you saying you want to work together again Kara? As I recall, that didn't go so well for me the last time. Why would I want a repeat performance?"

"Because John, this time I have a carte blanche and the backing to enforce it. Listen, when I tried to get out of Ordos, I was caught by the Chinese. Once they realized what we were doing there, they gave me a choice. Prison or try and recover the software." At this point, Joss tried to slowly inch her way into the head of the alley and towards the woman she could only assume was Kara Stanton, John's old CIA partner.

"Kara, haven't you had enough of being a government pawn? So why did you show yourself to Snow in the first place?"

"I need to know who sent us to Ordos in the first place before they can lead me to what I want. Snow is the only one who knows that…or at least I…" Suddenly, her eyes widened as she caught Joss's movement against the wall where she was creeping forward. "You!" she yelled and rushed at Joss with incredible speed considering her injuries. Joss didn't even have a chance to get a shot off before she was roughly shoved against the wall and pinned there by the other woman's body and a choke hold on her neck.

"Where is he? You were working with him! I saw you with him!"

A split second later, Stanton's weight was gone and Joss slid down the wall, trying to catch her breath.

"Get away from her Kara!" John yelled and still gripping her arm, he roughly shoved her down and away from Joss. "Snow has been luring her out and has tried to kill her. She has nothing to do with you or him! If I see you around either of us again, you'll get a chance to see what new skills I've picked up since we parted ways." He waited until she had dragged herself up and out of the alley before he turned his back on her and went to Joss.

"Are you ok?" He crouched down and pulled her into his arms. All she could do was nod and gasp as she tried to breathe around the pain in her side. Damn! And she was just starting to feel better too!

"I'm…ok…can you…just help me up?" Without a word, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the head of the alley.

"John! Stop!" She managed to gasp out. "You can't…carry me. It'll put us both..in danger."

"Fuck it!" He swore. "You can hardly breathe, much less make it back to my place."

"I have…to! Now put me down!" He growled in frustration, but did as she asked. Joss took a few steps forward and stopped, panting.

"Joss…" John said warningly from a few steps behind her.

"Just stay back…. I can make it." They made very slow progress down the street and over the next two blocks. Joss had to pause often to rest and as much as she encouraged John to walk ahead of her so it wouldn't be so obvious that he was following her, he resisted.

"I won't leave you behind Joss, so stop asking."

Once they were finally inside the entryway of his building, John scooped her up in his arms and carried her upstairs to his loft. At that point, she didn't have the energy to protest and sank gratefully into the bed when he set her down.

**And thanks to my lovely and talented beta, Maddsgirl75. She's always willing to drop what she's doing and edit one of my chappies!**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Wow! I thought Joss was the only sexually frustrated person out there but your reviews have proven me wrong! ;) Patience, Daniel-son. (Yes, I'm sure I'm dating myself with that quote but I prefer to think of myself not as old but rather well seasoned and experienced.) So, I think I've come up with my direction for the next chapter or two which means I HAVE to knock out some new ones quick before this weeks eppy.**

**Chapter 8**

"Ok Joss, I need to take a look at those ribs of yours." John told her and then began the process of slowly removing her shirt. Despite the fact that he was being very gentle, Joss couldn't help the hiss of pain that escaped her lips when he had to lift her up to get her shirt off her. "Oh baby, no." He spoke sadly. It was rather obvious, even as she looked at her ribs herself, that she'd re-injured them. "I'm so sorry I didn't get to you in time."

"'S okay John. Who knew she'd be so quick? Just do me a favor, please tell me that there are no more of your ex-partner, CIA goons that I haven't met yet?" The last was said with a smile as she tried to lighten his mood. And failed miserably.

John gave her a stricken look and then looked away. "No, no more. I'm so sorry that this happened to you Joss."

"Hey." She said. "This isn't your fault. Snow and Stanton are the ones who did this, NOT you."  
He looked like he was about to disagree but before he could say anything, she spoke quickly. "Besides, I was in the mood for a bit more of your pampering." She smiled at him. This time he did smile, a very small one, but she'd take what she could get.

He took a deep breath and obviously deciding not to push the issue he said, "Your wish is my command then, my Queen." And he stood up and gave her a little bow. Oh! Joss thought. Who knew John Reese had a playful side!

"Let's start with a bath in that lovely tub of yours." She laughed softly. John got up to start the hot water going, but her eyes took on a mischievous gleam as she spoke. "Wait! Aren't you forgetting something?" At his puzzled look, she gave him her own smirk and reminded him. "You need to give me my kiss before you may do my bidding." John smiled and leaned down and pecked her softly on the lips. "Oh no, no, no, you call that a kiss?"

"Well...was this more like what you had in mind?" He asked and then his lips were moving slowly and sensuously across hers. When she opened her mouth to him, he began a soft exploration of hers that had her head swimming and her breath coming in shallow pants in next to no time. She groaned when he finally pulled away.

"I'll be back in a minute, my dear." He told her and she took the opportunity to get her breathing under control once more. He returned within a minute or two and picked her up in his arms. She once more enjoyed the feeling of strength she got from his muscles rippling underneath her as he carried her to the bathroom. He helped her swiftly remove her clothing and then lowered her into the tub and she relaxed almost immediately as the hot water began to work its magic.

"Aren't you going to join me?" She asked with a pout.

"No**,** I'm afraid not. I'm not sure how relaxed either of us would be if we were in that tub together. Shall I wash you, your Highness?"

"Yes**,** but make sure you don't miss any places this time. Oh**,** and you owe me another kiss before you may start."

John sucked in his breath at her words and a knowing smile played across his lips. "Of course not. Unless you'd rather do this yourself perhaps? I bet you could do a more satisfactory job on your own…..while I watch."

This time it was her turn to gasp at what he was insinuating. She opened her mouth to speak but couldn't find the words.

He leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Shall we keep playing, your Highness? You know I said I wouldn't touch you like that until you are completely healed." His breath skating over her ear sent delicious frissons of pleasure down her spine and she admitted to herself that she couldn't take yet another night of unconsummated passion.

She drew in as deep a breath as she could manage without pain and said in a shaky voice, "No…um…please just help me get out when I'm ready?"

"Of course. Now, I'm going to let you soak for a bit and relax those muscles. I'll be back in a bit. Call me if you need me before that." Joss just nodded and closed her eyes as he got up and left the bathroom.

He returned about fifteen minutes later, just as the water was beginning to cool. "Ready to get out?" He asked. She just nodded, not trusting herself to speak as she saw he was wearing another set of soft sleep pants and nothing else.

Once she was out of the bath and dried off, he dressed her in an oversize T-shirt and helped her crawl into bed.

"I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight. I'm afraid that I might roll into you in my sleep and hurt you." He started taking a pillow from the bed but stopped when he saw the look in her eyes. "Joss, I don't want to hurt you."

"I don't care about what you might or might not do in your sleep John. We'll get very few of these moments together and I can't bear the thought of you not sleeping next to me every chance we get."

He frowned at her words but nodded and began to climb into bed with her. He reached behind him and switched off the light. He leaned in and gave her a leisurely kiss before settling in.

Just as she was drifting off, she thought she heard him whisper before sleep claimed her, "And I can't bear to be without you my Joss."

********************

Joss woke as the sun was streaming into the large windows to her left and she was very disappointed to find John gone from his place next to her. As she rolled over and sat up, she noticed a note on his pillow.

_Finch called and needed to show me something. I won't be gone long and I'll bring breakfast so perhaps you can stay out of the kitchen? ~ J. _

She smiled as she read the note. She would REALLY have to try making him one of her special comfort-food meals, but she'd at least take pity on him and do it at her place. She rose from the bed, found another set of new clothes laid out for her on a nearby chair and dressed quickly. John might have told her to stay out of the kitchen, but there was absolutely no way she could go without her morning coffee! She put a pot onto brew and decided to call Taylor.

Just as she was about to hang up with Taylor, John came back.

"I'll talk to you tonight baby." Laughing at Taylor's exasperated sigh for being called baby, he hung up on her quickly.

John immediately came over and gave her a quick kiss.

"I'm sorry I had to leave so suddenly but I have good news." He told her as he pulled out a breakfast sandwich from a bag and handed it to her. "Remember the speculations we had about what might happen to Snow if he showed up on the radar?" Joss nodded. "Well apparently we were correct. Finch discovered a meeting from late last night between Snow and some other CIA operatives sent to bring him in. We should have a bit of a reprieve from him for a while."

Joss suddenly had mixed emotions. On one hand it would be nice not to have to worry about getting shot. On the other, there was no need for her to stay here with John any longer. Something must have shown on her face because he pulled her into his arms and held her close.

"These past two days have been some of the happiest in my life Joss, waking up next to you, coming home to you. I wish this could go on forever."

"…But we both have obligations." She finished for him. She sighed deeply and pushed away gently from him. "I better get down to the precinct. I'd hate to give Fusco a chance to make up any _more_ stories about my absence."

He smiled down at her but didn't let her go far. "One second Joss." He leaned down and his lips moved tenderly across hers. He nipped her lips and lovingly soothed them. Meanwhile his hands gently ghosted up and down her back. The kiss went on and on and Joss's head began to swim. She needed to come up for air but was loathe to break off the kiss. Finally, John broke the contact between their lips and both of them stood there gasping for air.

His eyes burned fiercely as he looked down at her. "That was my promise to you Joss. As soon as you are healed, you won't be able to keep me away."

"I'm going to hold you to that, soldier." She said, and reached up to stroke his cheek. He leaned into her caress and they stood that way for several minutes, each reluctant to walk away from the other. It was John's phone vibrating that finally ended the moment. He tapped his earbud to answer the call.

"Yeah Fusco?" He listened for a second. "She's here at the moment but heading out the door. Ok, I'll tell her." He disconnected and spoke to Joss, "Fusco said you need to meet him at a scene on 61st and 3rd. Please Joss, be careful. I know Snow is out of the picture…for now…but it would make me feel much better if I knew you were wearing your vest." Joss rolled her eyes but nodded. "Thank you. I'll be in touch." He leaned down, gave her a swift kiss and left.

Strapping on her vest, Joss wondered how long she was going to have to keep this up. Shaking her head at John's over-protective side, Joss exited his place and went to meet Fusco.

********************

The next few weeks were very hectic for Joss and John. He was constantly working on finding out if the person he was following was a victim or a suspect. She had five homicide cases on her plate, in addition to the two times that John called her and Fusco in to help with his situations. Both meetings were brief and with others around, all they could do was give each other longing looks when no one else was paying attention.

Joss thought they were being subtle until Fusco said one day, "Why don't you and Wonderboy just get a room? Then maybe you'll stop making calf-eyes at each other."

"Fusco!" Joss yelled indignantly.

"Hey, I'm just saying, would solve a lot of problems."

"It's complicated and I'd appreciate it if you kept your nose out of it." She spoke sharply.

"Yeah, ok, whatever you say Carter." Joss chose to ignore it when Fusco muttered under his breath. "With women it's _always_ complicated."

Still, she did get a chance to talk to him on a few occasions when he was staked outside a suspect's home overnight. It was by unspoken agreement that they shied away from discussion about their situation as there was nothing to be done about it anyway. She shared bits about her cases and he reciprocated by telling her about his activities. She cringed every time he spoke about blatantly breaking the law and she would quickly switch subjects by telling him something personal about herself, her likes, her dislikes. It took a few times before she caught on that he was doing it deliberately to get her to talk about herself.

Every few days, Joss would find a package on her desk addressed to her. First, came a notification that someone had purchased maid service for her for the next month. Then, came a set of ruby heart earrings that matched her anklet. Next, came two tickets for a Knicks basketball game in her and Taylor's name. She had no idea how he was sneaking the things in, but she always smiled when she saw them.

One day she came home from a particularly long day and found a package waiting for her on her bed. She was tempted to wake Taylor up to see if he knew anything about it but then her curiosity of what it contained won out. She opened it quickly, wondering just what was inside that he wouldn't have simply left it for her at work.

Inside the package, she found a note that read:  
_For those times when it can't be my arms wrapped around you ~ J. _

She pulled out a red, satin baby doll set and matching robe**. **She smiled a little smile at the thought of John buying this for her. She quickly rushed to the bathroom and undressed.

Looking in the mirror, she could still see the bruising around her ribs, but it had faded considerably and she was hopeful that it would be completely gone in a few days. Joss ran herself a bath and soaked the day's stresses out of her body. When she was done, she got out and dressed in the outfit that John had bought her. She was so tired, she decided to forego dinner in favor of sleep and climbed into bed, quickly falling into a deep sleep. At one point during the night, she dreamed that a set of strong arms pulled her close to a warm chest and a set of lips kissed her softly once, then twice before she slipped back into a dreamless sleep.

She rose the next morning and stretched, thinking of her dream when her fingers unexpectedly encountered a soft object on the pillow next to her. Looking over, she noted an indentation on the pillow at the same time that she saw the single red rose. Her breath caught in her throat and tears sprang to her eyes. He'd stayed with her last night, she hadn't been dreaming after all, but she'd missed him because she was so exhausted!

Picking up the rose, she also saw there was a note underneath with one word written on it….

_Soon. _

A smile crept across her face at his promise and she jumped out of bed, eager to begin the day, hoping to move one step closer to the time when he would finally follow through on his promise.

*********************

That Friday, Joss was working at her desk when a call came from her son. At first she was a bit concerned. It was unlike Taylor to call her at work in the middle of the day. "Hey T, what's up? Are you ok?"

"Yeah, sure Mom. Listen, Mike and his Dad are going up north to their cabin for the weekend and they've asked me to come. So can I?"

"You want to go camping, Taylor? Since when? You've only been camping that one time with your aunt and cousins and you said you hated it. Something about nature waking you up too early."

"Aw, Mom, come on! Please? Mike said they have a cabin so it's not technically camping and he and I want to ride their ATVs on the trails."

"Ah! That's your real motive! You're just impatient to drive some machine!" Taylor's silence told her she hit the nail on the head. Joss sighed heavily. "Alright, T. As long as you PROMISE me you'll wear a helmet when you do."

"Yeah, yeah Mom, ok I will."

"Don't you yeah, yeah me**,** young man! You can't afford to get a brain injury even with what little teenage boy brain you've got in there." She teased.

Taylor laughed. "Ok Mom, I'll see ya Sunday night. Oh and Mike's cell phone number is 985-2250. School's out early today for an assembly so I'm gonna stop by the house and get my clothes in a few. Love ya! Bye!" Taylor spoke the last bit really fast, probably afraid she'd change her mind. She shook her head and hung up the phone only to hear a bellow from her Captain in his office.

"Carter! In here, NOW!" Fusco looked up and gave her a sympathetic look.

"Yes, Captain?" She asked when she was standing in front of his desk.

"I just got a memo from human resources that says you have too much vacation time saved up and they want you to use it now or the department will have to reimburse you for it. So as of right now, you're off duty. Go home and I don't want to see you again until Monday at the earliest."

"But Captain, I've got this case…."

"Give it to somebody else and get your butt out that door and that's an order!"

"Yes, sir." Carter left his office before he started bellowing again and took her weapon from her desk and grabbed her coat.

"Enjoy your vacation, Carter." Fusco said without looking up as she walked by.

Before she knew it, she was out on the front steps of the precinct in the middle of the day with nowhere to be and no one who needed her. What the heck was she going to do with herself all weekend long? 'Well, I suppose I could go get a mani-pedi, she told herself. She so rarely got to indulge herself. Sure, she'd have to take it off before she went back to work, it wouldn't do to be seen with fire engine red fingernails, but at least her nails would look nice for the next few days. Joss marched down the steps to her car, thinking that maybe she'd get a massage too while she was at it. She hadn't had one since…. She blushed when she remember where her massage from John had ended up. Perhaps she'd get lucky and he might be free for a few hours this weekend, she hoped.

***************

It was dark by the time she got back to her place with her arms loaded down with groceries. She'd gotten the massage AND a facial as well and she was feeling especially relaxed tonight. She'd stopped to get some wine and some groceries to make dinner and was trying to juggle the bags and close the car trunk at the same time.

"Looks like you could use a hand there Detective." A low voice said from just behind her.

"Oh!" She squeaked in surprise and almost dropped one of the bags. John's hands reached out to steady her and catch the bag all at the same time.

"What are you doing here, John?" Was all she could think to say as she felt his hand at the small of her back.

"Thought I'd stop in and see if you were free for a bit. Finch gave me the night off."

Joss's eyes narrowed. "Did he now?" She turned her back to him and walked a few doors down towards her apartment. "Well, you're welcome to stay for dinner."

"Um, you're making dinner tonight?" She could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Yes I am. Pork chops and greens. Are you staying or not?" She huffed, though she wasn't really mad. As far as he knew, her cooking consisted of coffee and almost burning his place to the ground.

"Well, someone should stick around in case you need the fire-extinguisher again." He teased, and followed her up the steps to her apartment after taking the grocery bags from her hands.

**AN: Ok, ok…I know! But I wanted to get this chapter done and posted quickly and there's no way I could write THAT except in its own chapter! I promise in the next chapter John will give you all and his beloved Joss what she's been waiting for!**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Alright, fess up….which one of you sent me the sleepless night so I'd stay up and start this chapter? And to those of you who have been thinking of burning me in effigy…. Can I say I laughed evilly when I thought of writing just one more delaying chapter? Well let's just hope that John can leave us all satisfied after this so I can get some darn sleep!**

**Chapter 9**

Joss unlocked the front door and John waited until he'd heard her bolt it again behind them before he made his way to the kitchen, obviously quite familiar with the layout of her apartment. Joss stood back and watched him walk away from her, taking a moment to enjoy the view. She knew that tonight would be the night; she just wasn't sure how long she could hold out before she jumped on him and had her way with him. She removed her jacket and then the gun from her holster and set it down on the table in the foyer. Lastly, she removed her handcuffs where they were clipped to her belt and she smiled as she remembered the time she'd told him she wanted to see him in the back of her car…in handcuffs. Hmm, perhaps she should keep these handy? The thought had her smiling to herself as she entered the kitchen and saw John putting away the groceries.

He immediately turned to her and seeing the grin on her face asked, "What's got you smiling right now Joss?"

She blushed and shook her head. "Nothing. Why don't I finish that and you go take your suit jacket off and stay a while?" He smiled and then moved to walk past her into the living room. He was so close and his smell was so intoxicating, she just couldn't help herself. As he brushed by her, she ran her hand along his ass and was rewarded with a growl.

"Not yet, Joss."

She frowned but moved to take his place putting away the groceries. Once she was done, she pulled out the ingredients she'd need to make dinner. She knew the instant he was back in the kitchen and turned to face him….and had all rational thought sucked right out of her brain. He was standing there, leaning up against the door frame with his sleeves rolled up so she could see his muscular forearms but what really caught her attention was the fact that the top two buttons on his shirt were unbuttoned and she could see his smooth chest with just a few sparse hairs peeking out. She moved towards him with the intention of making it three or four undone buttons; hell she might just take his shirt off totally! He must have seen her intentions in her eyes because he smiled until the skin around his eyes crinkled and then stepped back and away from her.

"I thought you were going to make me dinner?" He laughed at the frustrated look she gave him. He lowered his voice to a soft, sexy whisper. "We're both going to need our energy tonight, sweetheart." His words had her stomach filling with butterflies while a bit lower, her muscles clenched in anticipation. Seeing that he wouldn't let her touch him right now, she turned around and pulled out several pots and pans, banging them together in dissatisfaction. Well then, she'd make him dinner alright but in the process, she promised herself she'd also do her best to make him as hot and bothered as she was!

She leaned over to get several plastic containers from a bottom cabinet and made sure he was watching her as her pants stretched tightly over her rear. She then opened the package of pork chops and proceeded to coat them with flour, egg and breadcrumbs, perhaps shaking them a bit more forcefully than needed so that her chest bounced suggestively. When she was done, she glanced over at John as she turned on the water to wash her hands. She saw his eyes watching her every move as she slowly reached over and lathered up the soap to wash her hands. His lips narrowed while this eyes watched her hands move back and forth over each other.

"John, can you come here and unbutton my sleeves please? I don't want to get my blouse all wet."

He slowly pushed himself away from the doorframe and came up behind her to undo the buttons at her wrists. As he rolled up one sleeve, she subtly backed up into him and had to bite her lip to contain the moan when she felt his hard arousal prodding her lower back.

"Joss." He growled warningly as he rolled up her second sleeve.

"What?" She asked as innocently as possible and turned to face him with a puzzled look plastered on face. But not before she'd rubbed against him as she turned to look at him.

"I have half a mind to turn you over my knee for what you're doing. I told you not until after we've eaten and I meant it. You're just torturing us both right now."

"Hmph. Why don't you grab a beer and take yourself out to the living room then?" She muttered.

He smiled at her and moved towards the fridge to take out a beer. As he walked passed her to the living room, he leaned in close into her ear and whispered, "It's called delayed gratification Joss. Perhaps you should get used to it."

She gave his back a dark look but without him in the kitchen and distracting her, she poured herself a glass of wine and finished making dinner quickly. When she came out of the kitchen holding their plates, she saw that he'd lit the two tapers on her small dining room table and the rest of the lights in the apartment were turned off.

"That smells delicious Joss. And you didn't even need a fire-extinguisher this time!" He teased her.

"Just eat John." She said impatiently. She felt like she could barely eat herself with her stomach tied in knots of anticipation and she pushed her food around her plate. After a couple of minutes, he must have noticed what she was doing.

"You need to eat everything on that plate Joss or no amount of begging is going to get you what you want." He then spoke a bit more softly. "Please Joss. I can't bear the thought of you hungry and not having enough energy for all that I want to do to you. I've waited for this long enough, _we've _waited for this long enough that I don't want anything to spoil our night together."

Darn it! How did he know just the right things to say to her to get her to do what he wanted? Either way, she gave him a tight smile and ate a forkful of greens. When she was just about done with everything on her plate, she lay her fork down and told him she couldn't eat another bite.

"Alright, I'll help you do the dishes." He said, picking up their plates and clearing the table. Joss just rolled her eyes and followed him into the kitchen. She stood up against the sink and began washing the dishes. She felt him come up behind her and his hands gently covered hers as he helped her scrub the pans. This time, he didn't bother to hide the fact that he was hard and wanting her as he rubbed up against her back repeatedly. His hands moved up her arms to her shoulders and he pulled her soft, dark hair to one side and began kissing her neck.

"Fuck the dishes, I want you NOW, John Reese!" And she turned around in his arms and grabbed his face, pulling his lips down to hers. She took what she wanted from him, all of the waiting having created a burning need to feel his lips on hers, his arms holding her close and his body pressed tightly against her. He let her have her way for a few minutes but gradually, it was _his_ mouth seducing _hers_ as his tongue plunged in and out of hers and his teeth skimmed her lips. He finally broke off the kiss and Joss whimpered at the loss.

"Shh, my Joss. Come." He took her hand and led her into her bedroom. When they crossed the threshold, he dropped her hand and reached for the buttons on his shirt.

"Let me." She said softly, pushing his hands aside. As she undid button after button, she exposed his muscular chest as saw up close how it was crisscrossed with scars. She leaned in and kissed each one of them as they appeared. She then pushed his shirt off his shoulders and moaned in appreciation at the sight of the broad expanse of chest that tapered down towards his hips. She saw a dark line of hair beginning at his belly button and moving downwards to disappear into his pants. Suddenly though none of that mattered as she saw the large scar running across his lower abdomen. Tears sprang to her eyes as she realized that _she_ had done that to him. Maybe she hadn't pulled the trigger, but she was responsible for this terrible wound nonetheless.

"Hey," He said as tears spilled down her cheeks. "I know I'm not much to look at but I didn't think I was so bad that I'd bring you to tears." He teased.

She shook her head, "No, you're beautiful John. It's just…" She trailed her fingers along the scar.

"Joss, don't you dare feel guilty about that. You were doing what you thought was right. If you weren't the principled, decent person you are I wouldn't be here with you right now." When she lowered her head, he could tell she didn't believe him. He took her hand and led her over to the large cheval mirror near the side of her bed. He turned her around and stood behind her as she faced the mirror.

"Look at yourself in the mirror Joss and see what I see. I see a giving, compassionate woman." He unbuttoned the top button of her blouse. "I see a kind and patient mother who's raising a wonderful, honest son." He undid another button and her blouse gaped open, exposing her deep purple, lacy bra. "I see one hell of a detective who's smart and tough when needed." His fingers undid the last two buttons and he pushed her blouse down her arms and off. "I see a woman I admire and trust with my life." He reached down and unzipped her pants and let them fall to the floor. He then leaned in and kissed her neck, whispering "And I see a beautiful woman whom I want to make love to all night long."

Joss shivered as his breath caressed the skin of her neck and his hands moved down to unhook the front clasp of her bra. She moved her arms down and back so that it slipped down her shoulders and John's large hands cupped her breasts, squeezing and kneading them.

"Look at yourself in the mirror, Joss. Do you like what you see?" His dexterous fingers began pinching and rolling her nipples. "Do you like what I'm doing to you?" He asked, meeting her eyes in the mirror. All she could do was nod and close her eyes, overwhelmed by the fact that he was finally there with her as she stood almost completely naked in front of him. "Good, because I'll keep doing it as long as you watch what I'm doing to you in the mirror."

She gasped at his words and her eyes flew to his in the mirror. It was the sexiest thing she'd ever heard. She gasped again and moaned as his fingers continued to tug at her nipples and her sex became suddenly wet. For several minutes, she watched as his fingers glided over her nipples and he pulled them until they became unbearably sensitive. She closed her eyes and whimpered, trying to absorb the feelings he was creating in her entire body, just by touching her breasts but he suddenly stopped. Her eyes flew open and he began the sweet torment again. Slowly, one of his hands began to slip downwards as she watched and the anticipation of his touch on her became a sharp ache until his fingers tangled in her curls and he used one of his legs to part hers.

Those devilish fingers found her clit and they began to rub slow, teasing circles around it. She wanted to close her eyes and tilt her head back in ecstasy but she knew if she did, he'd stop what he was doing and she didn't think she could bear that.

He slowly increased the pressure and her hips began to writhe in time to the movements of his fingers both on her clit and on her nipples. He leaned down once more and whispered in her ear, "I want you to think about me pushing my cock into you, right here…" and he thrust a finger inside her, "….and think of me doing it to you over and over and over again until you come screaming around me." He increased the pressure of his fingers on her clit and began flicking his fingers over it while plunging a finger into her wet, hot sheath. Her body couldn't hold out any longer and she cried out as the tremors of pleasure overtook her and her knees went limp. He held her tightly against him until her breathing slowed and she opened her eyes.

"John." She said in a trembling voice. "That was…."

"…just the beginning, Joss." He interrupted her and scooped her up and placed her on the bed, positioning her so that she was once more in front of the mirror.

"I want you to sit on the edge of the bed and watch again as I make love to you."

"Oh!" Was all she managed to get out as she watched him sink to his knees in front of her. He reached for her legs and spread them wide, exposing her to his hungry gaze. Before she could tell him not to, he had his face buried between her legs and his tongue rimming her entrance. He began a series of long, slow, teasing licks up from her cleft to her clit and she watched in the mirror, mesmerized as his dark head bobbed up and down between her legs. She was so incredibly turned on by the sight, she couldn't help the moan that escaped her lips. Gradually, he increased the pressure of his licks, but he continued to stop just short of her clit. She became unbelievably hot and flushed and a growing tension built swiftly in her.

"Oh John, that's so good…" She moaned. Without warning, he latched onto her clit with his mouth and with one hard suck, he had her falling back onto the bed in a quivering mess. He simply grabbed her thighs in his arms and continued his assault on her as she writhed and moaned underneath his talented tongue. All too soon, she felt the feelings mounting in her once again and he continued to give her no quarter, no space to think as she fell over the edge once more in her third mind-blowing orgasm. She barely had the strength to protest as he maintained his hold on her and his mouth sucked on her sensitive and swollen tissues without stopping.

"No John, no more…" She whimpered.

"Yes Joss, just once more baby, I need you to be soft and ready for me. I don't want to hurt you." He sucked on her clit and nipped it before he spoke again. "Come for me once more, Joss. Now!" He commanded her and her body responded with yet another explosion of pleasure that left her gasping. It took her several minutes to come back down to Earth. She just barely had time to register that John had pushed her up further on the bed and was now naked and poised above her.

"Come on and open your eyes Joss. I want to watch you as I sink every inch of me inside you." He then entered her shallowly and stopped, gasping for control. "You're so snug baby. I can feel you gripping me like a glove." He sank another inch into her and her muscles clenched around him, sucking him in deeper. "Oh God Joss, you feel so damn good, so hot and wet for me. I can't…I can't control it anymore." He shifted and suddenly thrust himself fully into her, hitting the end of her, causing her to cry out. He pulled back and thrust in again all the way to the hilt and she felt a delicious type of agony at being so stretched and overfull. He increased the pace and her body jerked with each forceful thrust of his rock hard cock. Within seconds, her body once more ignited as the flames of pleasure consumed her. Her inner muscles spasmed and she screamed out his name, feeling him reach his release with a hot gush inside her. He collapsed on top of her but kept his weight in his elbows and forearms so that he didn't crush her.

He recovered first, burying his hands in her soft black hair and letting his lips travel over the smooth mocha skin of her cheek. She smiled but it seemed too much of an effort to open her eyes.

"Thank you for that, Joss. You are an incredibly sexy and beautiful woman. Now rest for a bit, I'm not done with you for tonight."

Joss had no idea how long she'd slept but she couldn't believe how energized she felt upon awakening. She realized that her head was lying atop John's chest with his arm wrapped snugly around her back and her breasts pressed against his side.

"Ah, I'm glad you're awake again my dear. I was starting to get a bit worried." He placed his fingers underneath her chin and tilted her head up to receive his kiss.

She sighed as his lips moved from hers, across her cheek to her earlobe. "At the risk of inflating your ego, I have to say I've never had a lover that could give me five mind-blowing orgasms in one night."

John laughed and said, "I'll try not to let that get to this head." He teased and pointed to his salt and pepper hair. "Do you think you're up for at least one more?"

She smiled shyly, "I think the more important question is, are you?" He grabbed her hand and placed it on his erection and she sat up to grip him more firmly. She gasped as she finally got a good look at him firmly erect and proud. THAT had fit inside her?

"I think I'm 'up' to the challenge, wouldn't you agree Joss?" Transfixed by the hard, velvety thickness in her hand, she just nodded and took a deep shuddering breath. "I want to be inside you again Joss. I want to feel your heat clenching around me but we need to get you ready first. Come and straddle my chest." She did as he asked but she knew it wouldn't take much this time to set her off. Once she was astride his chest, he dove his hands and arms down underneath her thighs and pulled her body upwards until she was straddling his face. He anchored her there with his strong arms and his mouth began to move against her sex once more. She felt so open and exposed with her legs spread wide on either side of his head but the feeling of his tongue plunging into and out of her inexorably had her muscles clenching deliciously deep inside. Next, he alternated moving his soft lips around her clit with licking her using the rough side of his tongue. The stimulation had her moaning and gasping and he held her tighter as she began to struggle against the sweet torment.

"John!" She cried out in the throes of her passion and he shifted her so that he could take her. "Wait! Please! I want…"

"What do you want my Joss?" He asked in a throaty whisper. "Tell me what you want baby."

"I want to ride you. It's my turn to be in control." She said with more confidence than she felt considering his size.

"Then take me Joss. I'm all yours." He lay back down and she straddled him, gripping him and guiding him to her entrance. She slowly lowered herself down on him and he groaned beneath her. She squirmed, trying to take him all in and once more he groaned.

"Oh Joss, you're killing me baby! I want to be inside that tight channel so badly right now. Lean back and put your hands on my thighs." She shifted into the position he indicated and suddenly it opened her up and she was able to take in his entire length all the way to the root. She sighed at the overstretched feeling and moved her body up and back so that he withdrew from her almost to the crest of his penis. Looking down into his eyes, she slammed back down and seated him fully inside her once more. When he groaned and threw his head back shouting her name, she realized how powerful she was at that moment and she began to ride him in earnest. She felt his thick crest pushing against that sweet spot inside her and she was suddenly wild with the need to ride him and rub herself with him right there, over and over.

"Joss! Oh God Joss! You feel so good! Can you feel how hard and thick you're making me?" All she could do was moan and move faster up and down his rock hard, pulsing length until the room rang with their cries of pleasure as they climaxed together.

Spent once more, Joss collapsed on top of John while he remained inside her. He brought his arms up and held her close as she again drifted off, exhausted. This time though her respite was short-lived. She barely felt him sit up beneath her and then withdraw as he gently placed her next to him on the bed. She did however groan when he picked her up and carried her in his arms into the bathroom.

"Joss, wake up. Come on now, wake up baby. I'm going to set you on the vanity here while I turn on the shower." He lowered her to the counter and tried to sit her there but she just couldn't seem to keep her head and body upright. "Ok, then have it your way Joss." He picked her up and carried her into the shower and then reached over and turned on the cold water.

Joss came awake with a shriek and tried to get out from under the icy spray. "You just wait John Reese!" She yelled.

"Sorry Joss," he said with a smirk. "But I thought you'd want to be clean before you sleep tonight." He reached over and switched the water to hot and then pulled her close. The warm water seemed to relax them both and Joss reached up and brought his mouth down to hers and began kissing him. The kisses started out innocently enough but John took charge and they quickly turned hot, wild and carnal. They both moved their mouths and tongues over the others forcefully, each trying to take control of the kiss and each other. Joss was the first to pull away and he grinned in triumph but the grin twisted on his lips as Joss quickly kneeled down and took him in her mouth.

Joss's goal was two-fold, one; she wanted to show him that she was just as much in control of things here as he was and two; she wanted to pleasure her man. He'd made tonight so much better than anything she could possibly have imagined. It would be a night that she would treasure for the rest of her life. She wanted to make sure that he felt the same, so here she was ready and willing to give him as much pleasure as she could.

She took ahold of him at the base of his cock and took the tip of him into her mouth. She sucked in the plush, smooth head and withdrew her mouth from him slowly. She then took him back in but rather than sucking, she swirled her tongue all around the head where it met the shaft. She heard him groan and did it again. Once more, she withdrew her mouth and sucked him back in taking in just a tiny bit more than she had before.

"Oh Joss that hot mouth of yours feels incredible!" He said breathlessly. As she withdrew once more, her tongue flicked over the slit in the head of his penis. He groaned and threw his arms out to the walls to steady himself as she took him in again and sucked him harder and further into her mouth.

"How far can you go baby?" He asked huskily. She smiled up at him her best seductive smile and proceeded to show him by sucking him deeply into her mouth to the back of her throat and back out again several times. Then she deliberately slowed down and simply used her tongue to tease him, running it up and down the large vein underneath and the sensitive base of his head. She knew he was enjoying what she was doing to him based on the fact that his hands were lovingly rubbing her head and the muscles on his thighs were tense and getting tenser.

After a minute or so, she increased the friction on him by sucking harder and with more force. She took him into her mouth and as far as she could to the back of her throat, using her hand to grip and pump the rest of him that she couldn't quite fit in her mouth.

"Do you have any idea how sexy you look right now Joss with your lips swollen from my kisses and your mouth stretching to take me in?" She hummed in pleasure and he gasped. Her other hand reached up and cupped his balls, rolling them gently and tugging lightly as she increased the pace with her mouth. He groaned even louder and his hips started to move, pushing him into her mouth faster and faster. She struggled to take him in and felt his balls tighten in her hand.

"Joss baby! I'm going to come! I'm going to come so hard! Stop now if you don't want me to come in your mouth…." His words ended with a groan as she reached over and gripped his thighs, showing him her intention to take whatever he chose to give her. One more hard, deep suck on her part and she felt him grow thicker and harder just before she felt his warm essence hit the back of her throat. She continued to suck him, milking him dry until she felt him pull back. She released him and smiled up at him as he reached down to help her up from her knees.

He enveloped her in his arms and whispered softly to her as he tucked her head underneath his chin, "Woman, you are the stuff that fantasies are made of. I wish to God we hadn't waited this long to let each other know how we felt. When I think of all that time we wasted apart when I could have been here, holding you like this…"

"Don't John." She said pulling her head back and looking up at him. "Everything that's happened has happened for a reason. I had no idea that day I first saw in the precinct what you could possibly mean to me. Or that later, I'd be able to look past the fact that you're a vigilante who consistently breaks the law but does such good, selfless acts for people. I might never have seen the wonderful, caring man you are inside."

He smiled at her but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm glad you think so, Joss. I'm sure the bum version of me was pretty hard to look past."

"Yeah, you were kinda…well…yuck…." She teased him. "But your eyes John…it's your eyes that I remember most and the way that you looked at me, as if you could see right through all that crap."

John said nothing for a minute, just hugged her closer. As he did, she became aware of something hard prodding her belly. Her eyes widened and she looked up to see him smirk.

"Oh my God John! You're a machine!"

"Only for you Joss…I just can't seem to get enough of you. I want to take you one more time tonight. Right here, hard and fast. Please say yes Joss…" She just nodded and he quickly leaned down to kiss her once before lowering his head further and sucking in one of her dark nipples. She threw her head back and as he drew hard on her nipples repeatedly, she came, the multiple orgasms she'd already had tonight giving her a hair trigger.

As her body shook in his arms, he lifted her up, pushed her up against the wall and drove himself inside. The sudden invasion had her orgasm going on and on. He pounded into her hard, pushing her up against the wall while his head hovered over her breasts, sucking furiously. He pumped into her faster and faster, hitting her so deep that she cried out and gripped his shoulders tighter. Two more hard thrusts had him shouting out his release and the pulsing of him inside her pushed her over the edge with him. He hugged her tightly to him, murmuring soft words of praise. As the water began to cool, he set her down and held her while he cleaned her and himself off then turned off the water and stepped out with her pulled against his body. Joss's bones felt like they'd turned to jelly and she was more than happy to let him pick her up, dry her off and then carry her to bed. He pulled the covers down and set her gently on the bed, tucking her in before he climbed into the other side. He reached over and pulled her naked body up against his and tucked her head under his chin. She sighed contentedly and smiled against his chest.

"Oh and John, the next time you and Finch cook up something like this, you might want to pretend you are surprised that Taylor isn't here and you _definitely_ don't want to involve Fusco. He doesn't have a secretive bone in his body." She felt his chest move underneath her as he laughed and that was the last thing she remembered before sleep took her.

**AN: Ok, so this sex scene WAS supposed to all be in one chapter but I've come to realize that John and Joss's weekend will have to take up two chapters. So y'all hold onto your hats and I'll get the next chapter posted ASAP.**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Well dear readers, I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed reading your reviews. Please keep sending 'em cause it makes me want to write more of this story that was only meant to be 4 chapters but has turned into a monster that takes over my brain as I try and sleep. I had hoped to be further along in this story so that I could return to writing some of the canon stuff in regards to the episodes. Alas, I'll just have to write faster right? And to all of you who have been asking where's the rest of the smut? Here's a nice LONG chapter. If this doesn't do it for ya, then I suggest you seek professional help. **

**AAN: Just want to say, I feel like John Reese is 100% alpha male and would **_**like**_** to be the one calling the shots in the bedroom, though Joss DOES have something to say about that. Still, in my opinion he would take the lead in most things so that's how I've written him. After all, who WOULDN'T do whatever Reese wanted? **

**Chapter 10**

Joss woke to a most pleasurable feeling. She'd been dreaming about John, though she couldn't remember just what, when the intense feelings of being suckled hard woke her. Joss moaned in appreciation. She didn't open her eyes but could feel John's lips curve into a smile though he didn't stop what he was doing. Instead, Joss could feel his hand caressing her side, moving slowly downwards. Once he reached her stomach, his fingers traced slowly from the side of her hip, down the curve and hollow where her upper thigh met her body and angled unerringly down to the triangle of dark curls.

Joss meanwhile was busy with her own exploration. She reached down and ran her fingers through John's short, dark and silvery hair. She had just reached that delicious point his hair made as it tapered down to his neck when John switched breasts and a particularly strong pull had her gasping. She increased the pressure of her fingers and ran her nails down his back as far as they could go. She wished she could reach that lovely ass of his with its hard, round globes that begged to be squeezed. She raked her nails back up his back, feeling the ridges of old, healed wounds under her fingertips. How much had this man endured in the name of his country, she wondered and why was he not bitter about it? Why did he continue to help people regardless of the personal danger?

All those thoughts suddenly took a backseat to what John was doing to her. He'd used his hand to spread her legs wide and his questing fingers had found her clit. His thumb began moving in slow circles while he gradually penetrated her with one finger then another. Using deliberate, measured strokes, he pushed his fingers in and out, making sure to apply pressure to her sweet spot, that spot inside her that was aching for him constantly these days. Joss once more felt the tension in her body rising and she moaned, knowing what was coming but powerless to stop it. Giving her breast one last, hard lick he moved up to her body and spoke to her in that low, sexy, whispery voice she loved.

"Come for me Joss. I want to hear you. I want to know that you like it when I do _this_ to you." He pushed his fingers further into her, increasing the pressure and leaned down and took her mouth at the same time. His tongue plunged in and out in time with his fingers and within minutes, Joss was crying out her pleasure. He didn't even give the tremors a chance to subside before he moved down and gripped her legs. He spread them wide kneeled down between them and dragged her up onto him at an angle before plunging into her. She cried out again at the wonderful feeling of being overfull.

"Oh Joss, baby, you're gripping me so tightly and I can feel you pulsing all over me. But I think we can do better. I want to feel you come apart while I'm inside of you."

He always seemed to know just the words to say to have her panting for him. He began to move and the way that he had positioned her had his thick crest rubbing and pushing against her upper wall in the exact spot she needed it. Joss could feel the clawing hunger once more building as he thrust forcefully in and out, making her feel every throbbing inch of him. She wasn't sure how much longer she could hold out, but she wanted to come at the same time as he did so she clenched him as tightly as she could with her inner muscles.

"YES, that's it baby! Do it again." He groaned. She did and felt him get harder and thicker before he suddenly came with a shout. She followed him over the edge, calling out his name.

John reached down and scooped her up in his strong arms while staying buried inside her. He held her close and whispered soothing words in her ear as her breath slowly returned to normal. It had been such a long time since she had felt treasured and cherished like this. She knew without a shadow of a doubt she was addicted to this man, that she would do _anything_ for him.

John kissed her several more times before lowering her to the bed. He moved to lie next to her and she fell asleep to his fingers caressing her back.

***************************

Joss woke to the sounds of snoring. She could barely hold back the laugh as she caught Mr. Big Bad Badass making such a racket. Moving slowly so as to not wake John, she moved to sit at the edge of the bed while she took stock of how she felt. Actually, she felt fantastic she realized. Sure she was a tad-bit sore, but she smiled at the thought of what they'd done that got her sore. AND what they'd hopefully do some more of later. A huge grin lit up her face at the thought of having John Reese all to herself for an entire weekend. But, first things first she thought, reaching for a robe and padding into the kitchen. Joss picked up her phone and made some quick arrangements before she started gathering the ingredients to make them both breakfast.

Joss quickly whipped up almost an entire carton of eggs, knowing from firsthand experience with Taylor, just how much a man could eat. She was just about to cook them when she felt herself being pulled back against a hard warm chest.

"Where did you go beautiful? I was hoping to wake you up again and take shameless advantage of you." John reached down and moved her hair to the side so that he could kiss her neck.

"Mmm." She said as she reached up and over her head, cupping the back of his as he nipped at her neck. She then turned around in his arms and placed her hands on his bare chest, tangling her fingers in the sparse silvered hair and leaning up to kiss him. "Well then perhaps I should be the one to take advantage of _you_." She smiled playfully and slid one of her hands down his body.

"Oh!" She gasped to find him already willing and eager.

"And just how do you think you could take advantage of me, Joss?"

"Like this…" She purred and grasped him in her hand while moving closer and giving one of his nipples a hard lick. "And this…." She moved her hand to the tip of his iron hard length and rubbed her thumb over the pre-cum that was already forming there. She used it to lubricate her hand a bit and began moving in a steady rhythm up and down his shaft. "Or maybe this…" She lightly bit the nipple closest to her and she heard him gasp. She continued to stroke him faster while she covered his chest in kisses and occasionally licked or bit a nipple. He groaned several times and every time he did, she felt the vibrations from his chest against her lips and they seemed to travel all the way down to her sex which was becoming wetter and wetter.

"Joss….Joss…" He gasped out, "Joss, stop. I don't want to come in your hand." She moaned a protest as he reached down and stilled her hand. As soon as he had her hand removed from him, he backed her up until she was up against the fridge.

"I didn't say _we'd_ stop Joss. I'd just rather bury myself in this gorgeous body of yours." He slipped the robe off her shoulders and it pooled at their feet. "Put your hands above your head, grip the freezer edge and don't let go or I'll stop." He instructed her as he picked her up, pushed her hips against the fridge at her back and slowly lowered her down his thick, hard length.

When Joss did what he told her to and placed her hands above and back, her breasts jutted out in front of her. "Ah, just what I wanted." He growled. "I can't get enough of these beautiful breasts of yours, Joss. They remind me of smooth milk chocolate that just melts in your mouth." He latched onto one of her nipples and drew it into his mouth while teasing the end of it with his tongue. He then drove up into her, seating himself all the way to the root. Joss's body was swamped with pleasurable feelings and she tilted her head back and pushed her chest further into him.

" . .baby?" John asked in a low whisper, punctuation each word with a hard thrust up into her.

Joss felt herself tightening desperately around him as he pushed inside or her. "Yes, oh yes! Harder John, harder!" She gasped out and whimpered as his thrusts became more forceful yet. So forceful that she could hear the bottles and jars rattling around in the fridge. But his thrusting felt so wonderful as he hit the end of her over and over, that she came in the next minute and all other thoughts became obliterated as she was lost in the sensations. Her orgasm seemed to go on and on as he suckled her breasts and possessed her repeatedly with his thrusting that she came once more before she felt the gush of heat between her legs that signaled his release. He continued to make progressively smaller and smaller movements inside her as he finished off his orgasm. They were both hot, sweaty and gasping as they came back to each other.

"You can take advantage of me like that anytime, John." She smiled, rubbing her hand against his cheek and the stubble she felt there. He just smiled and then lowered her down.

"I think you were making breakfast for us? I'm famished so get to it woman!" He slapped her lightly on the ass and she squeaked. He laughed and made to do it again but she slapped his hand away.

"So much for your lightening, CIA moves Mr. Reese." She giggled. His eyes took on a naughty gleam and he stalked towards her. Her eyes widened and she backed away. He made a growling noise deep in his chest and she whirled around to run but a hand snaked out and pulled her up against him in one quick motion.

"You better be careful Detective or I'll show you just how fast I can be." His voice rumbled in her ear as he pressed his hardening arousal against her back.

"I thought you were hungry Mr. Reese. Now go put that thing away before you poke somebody with it!" She shook her head in mock indignation, picked up her robe from the floor, put it on and moved back to the stove to continue fixing their breakfast. When she glanced coyly over her shoulder at him he grinned at her and then headed back to the bedroom.

They ate breakfast in comfortable silence, each glancing up occasionally and exchanging a shy smile. When they were both finally done, John got up and took both plates.

"I'll wash since you did the cooking…and twice now without the need of a fire-extinguisher!" He teased. Joss tried not to smile, tried to remain stern in fact, but she couldn't hold back the giggle for long. John leaned down and gave her a quick kiss.

"I love hearing you laugh Joss. It makes me feel so peaceful and happy." He then went into the kitchen and she could hear him turn on the water. Joss just sat there, stunned at his words. If anyone deserved a bit of peace and happiness, it was John Reese. It just amazed her that she was the one who was able to give it to him.

A few minutes later, John came back out of the kitchen and asked, "Do you mind if I take a shower and then see about hunting down something to wear?" Joss just nodded and smiled to herself.

********************

John had just stepped into the shower when there was a knock at the door. While Joss was pretty sure she knew who it was, she picked up her gun from the table by the door just in case. She cracked open the door and sure enough, a man stood on the steps with an armful of suits, shirts and slacks and a bag of what she figured were underclothes. Joss reached out and grabbed them, thanking the man and closing the door. Her lips curled into a bit of a smile as she hung the clothes up in her bedroom closet. Her smile grew as she saw the lavender shirt. She remembered clearly the day that she met John for the first time at the Lyric. She'd fallen for him then and a little bit more every day since. Joss removed the plastic around the shirt and then her robe. She slipped on the lavender shirt and buttoned it down the front leaving the top two buttons open so that the front gaped open just to the upper swell of her breasts. She sauntered across the bedroom to the bathroom and leaned against the door frame and waited for John to come out. She didn't have long to wait. He switched off the water and slid the shower door open to walk out….and stopped dead when he saw her.

Joss gave him a little seductive smirk and said**,** "I think I found something for you to wear." He gave her a heated look but still did not move. She sashayed towards him, grabbed his hand and pulled him forward. "Come into my parlor said the spider to the fly." She whispered huskily and reached up to bring his mouth down to hers. She took charge of the kiss sucking his tongue into her mouth, slowly savoring the taste and smell that was John Reese. Her hands were also busy, running down the front of his chest and back up again, her fingernails causing him to shiver as they ran across his lower abdomen. The more they kissed, the more she reveled in the fact that he was really here with her, this man she'd been fantasizing about for months. After several minutes of kissing, Joss pulled away and looked up into his eyes and felt herself drowning in the deep blue pools filled in equal measure with passion and tenderness.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to wear that shirt again without thinking of you." He said, cupping her cheek and caressing her. "Did I ever tell you how many times I wanted to reach out and touch this beautiful face? There were times I had to practically sit on my hands. And this beautiful mocha skin of yours, I longed to run my fingers over it to see if it's as silken as it looks." As he said the words, his fingers gently ran down her face and neck to where the buttons opened on her chest. He undid one more button so that her breasts were exposed. "And these lovely breasts you try and hide under those vests you wear. How I longed to cup them, to see how they would fit in my hands."

Joss sighed as he did just that, her breasts filling his large hands perfectly. "Or these lovely chocolate nipples." He teased them with his thumbs and the feeling shot directly to her sex. "I've longed to taste them, more times than I can count." Joss let her head fall back as she felt the soft glide of his tongue over her nipples before he began sucking on one, his cheeks hollowing with each strong pull. He took his hands and pushed her breasts as close together as he could so that her nipples were near each other and his mouth could switch so quickly from one to the other that it felt as if he was suckling both at the same time. Joss's hands reached on either side of his head and her fingers ran through his wet hair, mussing it.

After a few minutes, John spoke again in between nipping her neck. "I wish I could tell you how many times I fantasized about these moments, about being able to show you how much I care." Without warning, he reached down and swept her up in his arms. "For so long, I've wanted to have the right to pick you up and carry you to bed and make love to you." John strode through the bedroom to her bed and lay her gently down. He moved over her on the bed and leaned down to kiss her, worshipping her lips with his own.

He finally had to stop so they could both take a breath and she spoke softly, "I've wanted those things too John. I'm still having a hard time believing that you're here and that you've felt the same way about me as I've felt about you. I was going crazy thinking I was the only one."

John's entire face lit up with a smile at her words. "My sweet Joss, let me show you how I feel about you." He gave her several deep kisses and then moved onto her earlobe and drew it into his mouth. His gentle sucking and nibbling had her body tightening deliciously. She felt her breasts grow heavy with desire as the sparse hair on his chest rubbed against her nipples. His mouth moved to the other ear and gave it equal attention before slowly moving down her neck. Everywhere he kissed and licked, her skin felt as if it was on fire. His mouth was just about to reach her breasts when he pulled back and slid further down her body, all the way down to her toes. He kissed each one in turn and then took her big toe and bit down on the pad of it. She couldn't help but gasp as the sensation traveled up her spine and down again to that place between her legs that was getting wetter and wetter. He moved from her toes to the instep of her foot and ran the rough edge of his tongue up and down. Joss couldn't help but squirm and she heard a deep chuckle from John at her reaction.

Taking his time, John proceeded to lick, suck and nip her all over her body, sensitizing every bit of exposed skin. He then bared the shirt wider and cupped her breasts, rubbing her pebbled nipples until she was panting and gasping out her desire.

"I've come to realize how much you love me touching you here Joss and I have to say, I love tasting you here just as much." He lowered his head and laved each hard peak before drawing one into his mouth. Each deep pull elicited a moan from her and before she knew it, the tension inside her snapped all at once and she called to him through her climax.

"I've got you, sweetheart." He reassured her.

Joss finally floated back to reality and felt the hardness of John's arousal against her belly. "It's your turn baby." She whispered to him. "Take me now, I'm yours."

"Yes, you _are_ mine Joss, _always_." He promised and positioned himself at her entrance. "And this, this is mine." He sank into her heat slowly, inch by inch.

"Yes**,** yours." She gasped out as she reveled in the feeling of being incredibly full.

"And I'm never going to let you go. Once something is mine, I keep it…cherish it….and protect it." He spoke in a low seductive rumble and withdrew slowly, dragging his thick, hard shaft against her too sensitive nerves. He slid home again and again, not increasing his pace but relentless in his drive nonetheless.

"Oh Joss, you were made for this! You were made for me. You're so tight and hot. You fit me like a glove." He groaned repeatedly as he pushed himself inside her agonizingly slow, inch by pulsing inch.

Finding his erotic words and actions arousing a deep hunger in her body, she began to writhe underneath him. "John, John…"

"I know baby, I know." He whispered in her ear. "But I want us to enjoy this moment with each other. I want you to remember what it feels like to have me fill you completely. I feel like a whole person when I'm buried inside you like this."

He continued his sweet, slow assault on her senses for several more minutes until she cried out, "John please, I…I need to come, please let me come…"

"You will baby. Hang onto me now." He told her. She reached her arms up and gripped his biceps as they strained to keep him above her. He shifted then until she was positioned so that she was open enough to take his entire length to the root. He began thrusting strong and sure until he was hitting her very core, until the pressure on that one throbbing spot inside her became too much to bear. She felt an explosion of pleasure radiate outwards from that spot and overwhelm her completely. Even as her orgasm took her, she could hear John crying out in the depths of his.

They both took a while to come back down and Joss realized she wanted to make slow, sweet love to this man over and over for the rest of her life. She tried to push away the thoughts of the dangers of their jobs, the impossibility of being seen together in public as a couple, of all the different people who were after John. She wasn't ready to face all of that and when John drew her into his arms, she went gladly, shutting out the rest of the world and focusing only on the man whose strong arms were making her feel so cherished and loved.

After several sweet kisses were exchanged, they lay down facing each otherand told each other stories of their childhood for several hours. Joss had many more happy memories than he did but they both enjoyed this time getting to know one another better. Eventually, realizing they were both famished, they called and ordered Chinese and had it delivered so that they didn't have to get dressed or spend a moment apart, keeping up appearances.

When she was done, Joss yawned and then looked at John sheepishly. "I think I need a nap. Someone kept me up almost all night long with his shenanigans."

John's eyebrows shot up. "My shenanigans?" He spoke in disbelief. "And just who do you think left these?" He asked, pointing to the lines up and down his back that she'd made with her nails.

Instantly she looked contrite. "I'm so sorry. Do they hurt? Should I try and bandage them up?"

"No Joss, they're fine. Besides, I think of them as badges of honor. I made you forget what you were doing so badly, made you enjoy yourself so much that you just couldn't help yourself." He smirked at her.

Her only answer was to roll her eyes. She reached over, took his hand and walked with him into the bedroom. The thought of sleeping in her bed without him was inconceivable.

*********************  
As Joss opened her eyes, she realized that the place beside her in the bed was empty. She sat up quickly with concern but then caught sight of John on the far side of the bed, sitting in a rocking chair and watching her.

"You have the most peaceful, beautiful face when you sleep Joss." He said huskily to her. The tone of his voice had her body instantly aware of his.

"How long have you been there watching me sleep?"

"Long enough. Come here Joss." His words rasped against her senses and she almost moaned, knowing what was coming.

She rolled off the bed and approached him, her eyes darting from his, down to his lap and back again to his face. Just below his eyes, she could see the sharp planes of his cheekbones flushed with a burning need that was mirrored in his eyes. Her body clenched deliciously as she realized that this time, there would be no slow, gentle loving.

"Stand here and take off my shirt. It doesn't belong to you." He spoke severely and she quickly did as he said, anticipation hurrying her fingers.

Once she had the buttons undone, she let the shirt drop to the floor. She wasn't self-conscious at all, she knew what looking at her body did to him.

"Now, cup your breasts and play with your nipples as if it were _my _hands." She hesitated, a bit embarrassed to be touching herself in front of him.

"Do it Joss." He growled.

She did as he told her to and used her thumbs to bring her nipples to a hard peak. "Now, pinch them Joss, just like I would. That's it. Harder." He encouraged her, his voice getting thicker with desire. "That feels good doesn't it baby? Pull them too. More." She moaned as she pinched and pulled her nipples just to the point of a pleasurable pain. "Keep going, imagine it was me, show me how you'd like me to do it to you." Joss continued pleasuring herself for several minutes before he called a halt to it.

"Now Joss, I want you to take your fingers and reach down. Are you wet for me yet?" She took a deep breath and nodded. "Good. I want you to take your fingers and rub your clit. Rub it in circles but you can control the pressure. You're going to keep doing it until I tell you to stop but you are NOT going to come. Do you understand me? I want to have that pleasure."

Joss couldn't believe she was doing this. She'd never masturbated in front of anyone before. Sure, there were those nights when her bed felt especially lonely but… As the pleasure built in her, she forgot all about being embarrassed. She swiveled her hips in unison with what her finger was doing, working herself up into a frenzy of need. She felt herself getting close and slowed down her movements to try and control the feelings.

"No, don't slow down Joss." He barked. "And don't come or I won't let you have this." He gestured to his lap where she saw his erection jutting out thick and proud. She whimpered but once more picked up the pace. Her lips parted and she began gasping for breath as she tried to stave off her impending climax. A few more seconds and she knew she wouldn't be able to hold back.

"Stop Joss. Now come here. It's time to reward you." He gave her a little smirk and it shot right down to the core of her between her legs. She walked closer to him and as soon as she was within arms' reach, he turned her around and faced her away from him.

"Ok, I want you to take me this time. Sit down on my lap." He tilted his hips forward so that his hard, erect penis was extended upwards. Joss slowly lowered herself onto his lap and with a hiss of indrawn breath, she pushed herself onto his first couple of inches.

"Oh Joss baby, you feel scalding hot around my cock. I want to be buried further inside you." Joss gripped the arms of the rocking chair and pushed in a few more inches. She wanted to take him all the way to the root but he was so hard… She inched downwards a bit more.

"Joss…you're killing me… I need to feel you. I want to feel that silken sheath of yours around me!" He groaned.

Wanting to give him what he was begging her for, she took another deep breath and swiftly impaled herself onto him all the way. She cried out as he pushed in _just_ past her limits.

"Oh God! Yes!" She heard John shout. She waited a few seconds to get used to having him so deep inside her before she used her arms to push herself up as if she was getting out of the chair. She moved up until she was almost completely withdrawn before sitting back down. She moved up and down on him slowly at first then gradually picking up speed and impaling herself more quickly and forcefully. She forced several groans of pleasure from John as she took his pulsing, throbbing length all the way in only to pull away from him, her inner muscles clenching eagerly around him.

"Joss, oh Joss! I can't believe how hard I am inside you! Do you feel it baby? Do you feel what you're doing to me?" In answer she just moaned but it quickly turned into a scream of pleasure as he used the force of the rocking chair to drive himself up into her depths. Over and over she moved up and down his length, wild with the need to ride him while he rocked back and forth, using the chair to increase his force and penetration. It made Joss feel as if she was going to be split into two and she loved every minute of it. It wasn't long before they were both screaming out their release, Joss so full of him that copious amounts of his hot essence flooded out of her because there was simply no room, no crevice left unfilled by him.

John recovered first and picked her up, striding into the bathroom. He sat her on the vanity and wet a washcloth before cleaning them both up. Joss smiled tenderly at him and he returned the smile, reaching up to briefly caress her face.

"I can't believe someone as smart, beautiful, honest and tough as you are wants to be with someone like me, Joss." He said quietly.

She frowned at him**.** "What do you mean someone like you, John?"

"We both know how broken I am Joss, how much of a killer I am. If you knew even half of the things I've done, you'd be disgusted." He looked down, not meeting her eyes.

"Hey! We all make mistakes John. And even I've made mistakes that have gotten people killed."

At that, John looked up and into her eyes with a puzzled look. "The important thing is that we regret those mistakes and make up for them in any way we can. Come here." She said, taking him by the hand. She led him back to the rocking chair and told him to sit down before taking a seat in his lap, her legs hanging over the side of the chair and her head resting against his chest. He enveloped her in his arms and she sighed, snuggling closer to him.

"I don't like hearing you calling yourself a killer. Did you kill? I'm sure you did. But the difference is that you did it because your country asked it of you, you did not do it because you took joy in the killing." She paused to let that sink in. "And John, you have to stop putting me on a pedestal. I'll never be able to live up to that and it'll destroy both of us if I try. I'm just a woman who's made mistakes, same as you."

One of his hands began stroking her back soothingly and she closed her eyes in bliss and happiness. He finally broke the silence. "Will you tell me about your ex-husband?"

"There's not too much to say there. We thought we were madly in love, got married young, and we both joined the Army. We didn't see as much of each other after that. But at some point during that first year, I realized I was pregnant with Taylor." Joss took a deep breath and began to draw circles on his chest next to her head. "I was ecstatic. Michael, not so much. He thought it was too soon." John gave her a quick hard hug before his fingers returned to stroking the curve of her spine.

"It was alright at first. He wasn't home much and I was even deployed once. My mom took care of Taylor while we were both away. But then, Michael came home for a six month leave and I could tell he'd changed. His eyes were haunted. He often yelled at me, seemed very irritable but I brushed it off as him readjusting to normal life. But when he started yelling at Taylor, I knew that was it. I left him. It was the hardest decision I had ever had to make. I still loved him despite what had happened, or at least I thought I did. I can see now that it was the old Michael I was still in love with, not the man he'd become."

"I wish I'd been there for you, been able to take some of that burden off your shoulders." He said, kissing the top of her head.

"Well I'm not. It was those years that shaped me into the woman I am. I had to go through that hardship to realize that I was a strong person, stronger than even I thought possible." She paused for a few moments. "John, that night that Bottlecap…."

"Don't say it Joss. I hate remembering how you looked on the ground, gasping for air."

"But don't you see? That was when you told me I wasn't alone. I suddenly realized that maybe, just maybe I might have met someone who I could trust to have my back. Snow sidetracked me for a bit and I'm… I'm really sorry about that. "

"Joss…" He growled warningly.

"Ok, ok. But once I was sure I could trust you…it was such….such a relief you see. I've been fighting this fight alone for so long, have had to be tough and strong for my job as a cop or as a mom for Taylor…" Her voice wavered. "But with you.." She whispered. "…with you I can just be Joss, the woman. Knowing I can let go of my burdens when I'm with you…John, I don't think you realize how important that is to me. I can't thank you enough for giving me that."

He squeezed her tighter and spoke. "Yes Joss, I would like to be there for you and for Taylor if you'll let me. I want you to feel like you can let go with me; that you don't always have to be in control and in charge. I can't think of anything I'd like more, actually." He whispered into her hair.

Joss looked up and smiled at him and he leaned down to kiss her ever so softly. "Well, just so long as you don't get completely used to it mister!" She teased. "And only here, only when we are together like this. In everything else, I want you to realize we're equals. That's the only way I can do this John."

"I know Joss. I can live with that."

She sighed and nodded, glad that they had set clear expectations. "Well, as far as Taylor is concerned, that will be up to him. I know I'm going to have to explain things to him…" She faded off when she heard him chuckling. "What?" She asked.

"Joss, I don't think you'll have to explain anything to Taylor."

"What? Why?" Then her eyes narrowed. "You mean he was in on this whole deception too!

Wait until I get my hands on that boy!" She growled but smiled to show she wasn't seriously mad about it.

"Sorry Joss, but I had to talk to Taylor about all this. Before I thought we could take this next step. If he wasn't on board with this whole thing, I wasn't about to put you in a situation where you'd have to choose between he and I." He smiled. "He was actually pretty enthusiastic about the idea as I remember. I even got a high-five." He smirked and then his face took on a serious look. "You've done an excellent job of raising him Joss. When I told him that we both cared for each other, his first concern was for you."

"Yeah, well it wasn't easy that's for sure!" She laughed and proceeded to tell him about the time that she'd come into his room after he'd had a nap, only to find the crib, the walls and him covered in poop. One story led into another as Joss relaxed in his arms, her head on his chest as she listened to his steady heartbeat and enjoyed reminiscing about Taylor and all his little mishaps. Before she knew it, it was getting dark outside and her mouth was dry from talking so much.

"How about ordering a pizza and watching a movie? Unless you feel like going out for a bite?" She asked.

"No, I'd rather stay here with you and neck on the couch while the movie is on." He said with a smirk on his face.

"Umph." She pretended indignation but was secretly pleased that he wanted to spend as much time with her as she did with him. She stood up and grabbed her robe from the bed. "So what do you like on your pizza?"

"Whatever you like is fine but I enjoy a little meat on mine if you don't object." He too stood up and found a clean pair of boxers in the clothes that Harold had sent over.

Joss gave him a coy sideways look and said. "Yes I like meat, especially sausage."

"I can tell." He smirked back. "It seems to agree with you."

She sidled up to him and cupped the noticeable bulge in the front of his boxers. "Especially _this_ sausage."

"I thought you were hungry?" He asked, pulling her up close against his chest. "Or did you change your mind?"

"Hmm. I think I better eat something before I have any sausage." She laughed and pulled away, walking towards the kitchen. She reached into a drawer stuffed full of take-out menus, looking for her and Taylor's favorite pizza parlor.

"Darn Carter! Do you have enough menus in there?" He asked in amazement.

"What? I often work late and I don't want Taylor to go hungry, so….."

"It couldn't be due to the fact that you can barely cook can it?"

"Hey! I can cook just fine!"

He just raised an eyebrow at her. "Ok, I can cook _some_ things fine." She huffed.

John chuckled and gave her a quick kiss. "One of these days, I'll have to make dinner for you and Taylor, show the poor boy what _real_ cooking is like." In reply Joss playfully punched him in the shoulder.

"Whatever." She turned her back on him and picked up the phone to order their pizza. When she was finished, she asked him what movie he wanted to watch.

"Doesn't matter to me. I don't usually have a chance to watch a movie so whatever you pick, I probably won't have seen it." It took awhile for Joss to find a movie she thought they both might like. She finally settled on the Blind Side and asked him to grab two beers from the fridge. Ten minutes later, they were snuggled up together on the couch, eating pizza and drinking beer, while watching Sandra Bullock act out the true story of a woman who saw something in a boy that everyone else had written off.

About halfway through the movie, Joss felt one of John's arms around her brush the side of her breast. She smiled a small smile but ignored it. Several minutes later, John leaned forward to grab his beer from the coffee table and his hand ran down her leg as he stretched. This time, she didn't react at all, at least not on the outside but inside, a fire began to smolder. Ten minutes later, John reached down and shifted her legs so that her feet were in his lap. He took one and began rubbing it, never taking his eyes off the screen. As he rubbed her foot, his hand would occasionally rub up her leg, only to return to her foot once more. Each time, his hand seemed to reach higher and higher up her leg. The pleasurable sensations his touch caused had her clamping her thighs tightly shut before she got too carried away. Meanwhile, Joss used her feet to 'accidentally' brush up against the swelling in John's lap that seemed to be growing larger and larger. Each time she did, she felt it jerk against her foot. Finally, John shifted her again, so that her feet were no longer in his lap but rather her back was up against his side with his arm draped around her shoulder where it rested against the couch.

They sat like this for about ten minutes before Joss felt the hand of the arm that had been comfortably resting on her shoulder move slowly downward. His hand gently snuck into her robe and cupped her breast. Joss once more pretended not to notice and kept her eyes on the screen but after fifteen minutes of his squeezing and playing with her nipples, she started to breathe heavily. Her own hand moved over and began rubbing him where there was an obvious tent in his boxers. Still, both refused to acknowledge what was happening as their hands began to roam freely over each other's bodies. Joss was stubborn in her attempt to hold out longer than he did but it was a nearthing as his fingers found and began to manipulate her clit. Just as she was about to cave and beg him to take her, she heard a growl from his chest and he pulled her into his lap, no longer making any pretense at watching the movie. They kissed deeply and hungrily as all the pent up sexual frustration was released. Breaking off the kiss, John once more shifted her, this time so that she was straddling his lap. He gently lowered her head and shoulders down until they rested on the coffee table along with her back. He brought her legs to rest up on his shoulders and using his hands to hold her rear aloft, her sex was spread out in front of him. He wasted no time in diving down and licking her from cleft to clit. He continued to do so, each time increasing the pressure of his tongue and Joss moaned as he feasted on her swollen and sensitive tissues.

"John, John…" she called out, writhing beneath his relentless tongue. His only reply was to increase the pressure still more but without touching that bundle of nerves between her legs that was creating a clawing hunger in her. She became frantic with need and tried without success to push her body closer to that wicked tongue of his but in the position she was in, she could get no purchase. Two minutes later, she felt an incredible vibration against her clit as he made a motion with his lips followed by him sucking on her clit with deep pulls. It sent her over the edge in seconds as her body tensed, her legs shook and she sobbed in relief.

John lowered her back down and pulled her torso up so that while she was still straddling him, they were face to face. Joss grabbed his face in both her hands and covered his mouth with kisses, tasting herself on him but she didn't care, She just continued to kiss him with a breath stealing hunger. She ground her hips into his and caressed his erection with her wet sex.

"John," She said between kisses. "I really enjoyed what we did this afternoon. I want you to take me like that again. Now. Please." She moved off his lap, parting from him reluctantly but she was comforted that in moments, he would be buried deep inside her. He stood up**,** quickly removed his boxer briefs and pulled the belt of her robe so that it quickly joined his clothes on the floor. She turned around swiftly and he smoothly pushed her down so that she was kneeling on the couch with her body resting on the arm and her ass tilted up towards him. He reached down between her legs, opened them a bit further and ran his fingers up and down her dripping sex. He pushed two fingers inside her sheathe and groaned as they were clenched by her inner walls.

"Oh Joss, you're so warm and wet. I can't wait to sink myself inside you. Hold on baby, this is going to be a wild ride." That was the only warning she got before he drove himself into her, immediately seating himself to the hilt. She moaned at the suddenly overfull feelings and he drew back once more and pounded into her from behind, hitting the end of her quickly and forcefully. Joss moaned in pleasure over and over again as he thrust into her from behind, his balls also thrusting forward and slapping her clit. Each lunge into her drove her further up that cliff, making her insensate with passion and hungry for more.

"Harder, John. I need it harder." She begged him. In answer, his next thrust was so powerful that he pushed her forward on the couch and she screamed his name as he gave her just what she needed. He drove them both relentlessly up that slope to the ultimate release, he shouting out with each thud into her while she cried out in pleasure. Seconds later, they both fell off that cliff together, their bodies shaking with the force of their release.

"Don't…ask…me to…do that again…Joss or you might not….be able to…walk tomorrow." He gasped and gave a low laugh.

"I….wouldn't care. That was amazing John." She said, trying to catch her breath herself.

"Now, I want to make love to you soft and slow." He swung her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom where he did just that twice more that night.

**********************  
Joss woke up entangled in John's arms and legs with a huge grin on her face. It was Sunday, their last day together before Taylor came home that afternoon and she was determined to spend almost the entire time in bed with John. She disengaged herself from him and rolled over to get up to go to the bathroom and winced. Wow! She was sore, just as John had predicted but she also couldn't remember _ever_ having this much sex in one weekend, even when her husband had come home after a long deployment. 'I guess I better take it easy today. The LAST thing I need is for Fusco to be shooting me looks across our desks.' She shuddered at the thought and slowly made her way into the bathroom, hoping a good soak would ease the ache.

That's where John found her, twenty minutes later. "Good morning beautiful." He said, standing there gazing down at her.

"Hello yourself. I'll be out in a few and I'll make breakfast."

"No need. I'll handle it. You just relax." He leaned down to kiss her and exited the bathroom.

******************

Joss came up behind John as he was putting pancakes on two plates. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her cheek against his strong, warm back. "I wish this weekend didn't have to end." She lamented.

John turned around in her arms and pulled her close. "I know but duty calls. Besides, I'm not sure how much more of you my body can take woman!" He teased and leaned his chin down to rest on the top of her head, tucking her in closer. "You smell divine Joss."

"Thanks." They held each other close, both knowing that this would have to end sooner than either of them wanted.

Joss finally pulled away. "I think our breakfast is getting cold."

*********************

After breakfast, in unspoken agreement, they went back to her bedroom and lay down together. They spent several hours talking and touching, holding and hugging one another, both trying to store up these precious moments to sustain them when they were apart.

At one point, John noticed her eyes as they pooled with unshed tears and he kissed her forehead and then her eyelids as she closed her eyes.

"Don't cry, Joss. I don't know if I could take that. At least we know we'll see each other soon and I'll stay with you next time I have a free evening if that's ok with you." She just nodded, not trusting herself to speak. He kissed her face tenderly and then they made love one more time. Slowly and sweetly, savoring each other and this new bond they'd begun to form.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: So, back to the canon stuff for this chapter. The only thing I've left out is Cal Beecher. I'm assuming we are all ok with that? Don't really like the smooth, sleazy pimped out dude anyway. BTW, did the most recent eppy, Prisoner's Dilemma not BLOW YOUR MIND? Best episode of the series, IMHO.**

**Chapter 11**

Very few people can say they like Mondays. Joss counted herself amongst them as she opened her eyes and saw the empty place beside her. Sighing, she sat up in bed and her eyes were immediately drawn to the huge bouquet of white acacia and blue hyacinths on her bedside table. She smiled, knowing at once who they were from and she was amazed that he'd gotten in and out without her knowing. She reached over and read the small card attached to the vase.

_Thank you for the best weekend of my life. – J_

His words almost brought tears to her eyes. She was so relieved to find out that he'd felt the same connection this weekend as she did. Her eyes once more settled on the flowers and she smiled, walked across the room and picked up a little book from the small bookshelf she had in the corner. It was mostly filled with her trashy romance novels, her guilty pleasure. This book was one she'd bought years ago. It reminded her of her grandmother and happier times. Her grandmother had told her that every flower had its own meaning and this book listed many of them. It was thanks to the book that she'd chosen the fragrance she wore just about every day. She'd wanted to pick a floral scent that not only smelled good but also meant something to her. The book had listed jasmine's meaning as: attachment, gracefulness and sensuality. Most people had no idea of the significance of her chosen scent, only commenting on its lovely smell and she always smiled to herself at the secret.

Opening the book once again, she found that acacia signified secret love while blue hyacinths meant constancy. She had no idea if John knew the meanings of the flowers but she chose to believe that he did. Taking one last sniff of the beautiful scent she began to get ready for her day.

Joss arrived at work and found a mountain of paperwork awaiting her, souring her mood further. She HATED the endless paperwork that was part of her job. She'd much rather be out on the streets catching criminals instead of writing about it. An hour into her day, it took a turn for the worse.

Agent Donnelly came strolling in, his manner a bit more self-confident now that he was receiving accolades for his work in taking down HR. He walked right up to her and said, "Detective Carter, we need to talk." They started walking to one of the back offices so that they could have some privacy for their conversation.

"With HR degraded to the point of irrelevance, my team is shifting priorities back to the man in the suit." Joss looked down and touched her lip, trying to hide her annoyance at the fact that Donnelly just wasn't giving up on catching John.

"He's still out there. Do you still want to catch him?"

"Yes of course." She was forced to lie. The conversation that followed was like an out of body experience for her. Not only did Donnelly tell her that they knew that John was working for the Chinese but that they suspected he'd flipped Snow! She couldn't hide her look of incredulity at that.

But Donnelly wasn't done dropping bombs. He actually asked her if she would consider joining the FBI! 'What the hell?' She thought to herself. It couldn't possibly get worse than this, being asked to join the FBI for the express purpose of hunting John down and locking him up! The moment Donnelly left, Joss pulled out her phone and called Harold. She had to let John know that Donnelly was back to focusing on him again.

"Carter." She said promptly.

"Hello Detective."

"I need to find our friend. We have a big problem."

"You'll find him at the department of city planning." Harold told her.

*************************

As she drove downtown, she wondered what kind of mess she would find John mixed up with now. It was amazing the amount of trouble that man could find to involve himself in. Sure enough, when she got to the building, there were police outside. As soon as she walked in, her eyes found him. She had no time to admire how handsome he looked, ok maybe a moment, she allowed, pausing. But she was extremely concerned to find him standing next to two beat cops.

She walked right up, flashing her badge and introduced herself. "Detective Carter. Uh, what've we got?"

"You heard the 10-31 too Detective?" One of the beat cops asked her.

"Yep." She agreed, happy to have a pretense for being there. "So what is it?"

"Like we were telling Marshall Jennings here…." He started to explain but she couldn't help but interrupt in astonishment.

"Marshall Jennings huh?" John finally turned to look at her for the first time and he had the nerve to tease her with a lift of the eyebrows! She frowned at him in disapproval. Geez this man had chutzpah, walking into a building full of cops and impersonating a US Marshall no less!

"…. The manager called it in. One of his staff, a girl by the name of Abby Monroe downloaded a file illegally."

"And walked out with it two hours ago." The manager added. "No one noticed until too late."

"Does anyone know what's on the file?" She found herself drawn into the investigation, curious as to why John would be here.

"We keep plans here for some important buildings but all she walked out with were some engineering plans for the 14th block of Hanover near Wall Street." The manager explained.

"Its got an electrical substation, lawyers' offices and the HQ of an investment bank. Nothing like a critical infrastructure target." The other cop read to her from his notepad.

"So does anyone know where this Abby Monroe lives?" She asked and her eyes slid over to John who just gave her a stoic look.

"We ran a check, the address she gave us was fake. The phone number is a payphone." The cop told her.

"That's some background check there." John said to the manager in that low, whispery voice she found so sexy.

"What can I say? She seemed like a sweet kid. Kind of disappointing to find she's a flake."

John then turned to her and said, "Kids, you never know**,** right Detective?"

'Oh no! He did NOT just say that! The nerve of him, reminding her about Taylor's part in the weekend's deception!' However she had to give him a fake smile and agree.

"Right." The smile slid right off her face when he wasn't looking. She was SO going to have a word with him about this!

"Anyway," John continued, "Good job following up so quickly. Gentlemen." He said and took his leave.

'Oh, he was SO not gonna get out of this without talking to her!' Joss had to hurry and extricate herself from the situation to catch up with John.

"Ah, look, if you come up with anything else, give me a call." She said, leaving her card and following John out.

"John! John!" She hissed at him, trying to decide which of the issues she was going to have words with him about first. "Are you out of your mind? Impersonating a law enforcement officer." She shook her head. "Marshall Jennings! You took his star."

"Well he wasn't using it any more. It's great Carter, just flash a badge and people tell you everything." He said with a small smirk.

She couldn't believe he wasn't taking this seriously! "You gotta stop John. Donnelly's back and he's hot for the guy in the suit. He has a new theory."

"Yeah, that I'm working for China or something?" He turned giving her a small smile, showing her what he thought of that idea as she just looked at him in astonishment. 'How the heck did he know, already?'

"We heard. We also heard his offer. Maybe a transfer to the FBI would be a good move for you."

Was he joking? Didn't he...wait, what did he just…. "Do you listen to _all _of my conversations?"

"More or less. You're looking nice Carter." She smiled, happy for the compliment but then she realized his game. He was trying to distract her from questioning him.

"What's the deal with Abby Monroe?" She asked.

"I was checking to see if she was in any trouble." He explained without explaining anything. "Looks like I'm a bit late. Carter can you get me footage from that camera from about two hours  
ago? And that camera too? Thank you." And just like that, his hand brushed hers and he walked off. She decided to _let_ him since he was obviously working a case and she _had_ accomplished what she'd come for, he was warned that Donnelly was after him again. She sighed and walked back to her car. So, he listened to her conversations did he? Well, maybe she should _give _him something _to_ hear! She let her mind run crazy for a second with how she could get a bit of revenge by making him hear things…. Naughty things…. Crap! She couldn't do that, Finch was listening in too! So much for that idea. Still… she wasn't done with their conversation about setting boundaries when they were working together in public and also about using the Marshall's badge.

**********************

As expected, the minute she got back to her desk, the disposable cell that John had given her rang. She had no idea how they knew just where and when she'd be, but it was getting to be old hat now, the fact that they were tracking her. That _should_ have bothered her except that these two men were the only ones she felt she could trust completely. At least she thought she could, she told herself with a frown.

Harold wasted no time in getting to the point, "Were you able to trace the owner of the motorcycle, Detective?"

"No because it was stolen from a second hand showroom in Queens four days ago. I got the camera tapes out of the robbery squad. I see the perp is a single male…." Harold interrupted her.

"You're looking at the footage now?"

"Yes, why?"

"No reason." He answered quickly. A bit too quickly. Alarm bells were ringing in her head.

"He blew the locks with Detcord. Ignored the alarms cause he knew he'd be less than thirty seconds. He broke the key case with his bare hand! He chose his machine…..whoa!" She exclaimed as the guy drove the motorcycle through a plate glass window.

"It's impressive." She heard John say but in a strange tone. It almost seemed like he was trying to trivialize it, making light of the stunt. He wasn't….jealous was he?

Seconds later she was distracted when the image on her screen rewound. "What is…what is going on here?" She frantically hit keys but nothing worked. She paused, putting two and two together. "Don't tell me you can see what's on my computer too. What did I say about setting boundaries?" She watched as they focused on the perp breaking the key case.

"That's a prosthetic hand. High end prosthetic." John said. "Using Detcord to get into a building, my guess is he's ex-military."

"Might explain his connection to Abby. The question is what are they doing?" Finch speculated.

"I don't think you're gonna like the answer. Comstat just flagged my license plate inquiry. The same motorcycle was seen on a traffic light camera near a robbery at a construction site in New Jersey three nights ago."

"What was stolen?" Finch asked.

"Explosives. Semtex." John chimed in.

"Twenty pounds of it. And blasting caps. Hm, theft of explosives, theft of engineering plans for a block on Wall Street. This guy could be the next Timothy McVay and your girl is working with him."

"He might have manipulated her into getting involved!" Finch said indignantly.

"She's still involved. I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to do my job. I'm gonna have to put her name out on an APB." She said reluctantly. She knew John and Harold were trying to help the girl, but she just couldn't take the chance that something might happen. She swiftly e-filed her request and in a matter of minutes, the APB went out.

***************************

Her phone rang again five minutes later. "Carter." She answered.

"I've been thinking about you, Joss." HIS silken voice whispered in her ear. Her breath left her chest with an audible hiss and immediately her heart started racing and she felt the stirring of desire.

"I just wanted you to know." He said when she didn't answer.

"Oh…Okay… Yeah sure, me too." What did he expect for her to say? She was surrounded on all sides with sets of long ears.

He chuckled and then signed off with, "I'll see you soon, Joss."

He drew her name out like a caress and a shiver traveled up and down her spine. Damn! How the hell could the man do this to her just by speaking a few words? She knew how. It had been like this since the first time he'd called her on the phone those many months ago. There was just something about his voice that screamed sex. She wondered if perhaps he'd missed his calling. He could have been a nice, tame phone sex operator instead of a CIA grunt. And now that she KNEW just what lay behind the promise in his voice, she was that much more turned on.

"Yeah, um…ok." She stumbled over her words, her mind replaying various images from this weekend.

This time he gave a full-throated laugh, as if he knew what she was thinking. "Soon." He said again and hung up. She promptly stood up and went to the restroom to put some cool water on her face.

*************************

About an hour later, Harold called with an inquiry. He wanted her to look up information on a Shayne Coleman. It became immediately obvious that this was the man on the motorcycle. She told them both that she had no choice but to add his name to the APB. Surprisingly, she met with no resistance which bothered her. They knew something that she didn't, she'd bet her life on it.

***************************

Two hours after that, she got a phone call from Donnelly saying that he needed to see her immediately. The urgency in his voice was concerning and she readily agreed.  
She approached the intersection where Donnelly had instructed her to meet him. There was a black SUV with two FBI goons stationed on either side. One of them opened the back door for her and she slid in next to Donnelly. Donnelly had never met with her under these circumstances before and she was immediately on alert. Something about this felt different.

His first request confirmed her suspicions. "Can I have your phone?"

"What's going on?" She asked him, not having to feign the puzzled expression on her face while she handed over her phone.

"I'm sorry but I think the organization our man works for has some sophisticated capabilities."  
He told her as he removed the battery and sim card from her phone.

"Like wiretapping cops?" She asked while thinking to herself… 'Crap did Donnelly accidentally stumble onto something?' "Has something happened?"

"I think we got our break." He said with a small, gloating smile. "The man in the suit was involved with a robbery at a charity on the upper East side."

"How do you know that?" she asked. 'Was John THAT careless?'

"Now, before I can let you in, I have to know if you'll accept the temporary assignment to the Bureau."

She'd known this was coming but it didn't make it any easier to compromise her ideals. She took a deep breath and nodded. "Ok, yes."

"Good. You won't regret it. So, we've been tracking this man for ten months. Every time we get close, he slips right out from under us, as if he had some guardian angel. All I've looked for since then is a lead, any lead. And then I realized….the phone. He's in constant communication with his handlers."

This was hitting a bit too close to home, she thought. She needed to get him off this path of inquiry. "I thought of that." She said. "Cross checked crime scenes he was reported at, the cell tower logs of IMEIs, came up with nothing."

"Exactly, nothing." Donnelly agreed. "Our engineers at Quantico analyzed the cell tower traffic from that night he gave us the slip downtown. Underneath the wireless and radio noise, they found short bursts of a cloned IMEI with a unique signature. I tasked an FBI computer cluster to search for that signature." Again, Joss saw the gloating look on Donnelly's face. He _wanted_ her to realize how clever he'd been.

"Twenty-four hours ago, the cluster came online and spotted another burst of cloned IMEIs at the exact time and location of the robbery. It's him. I've got SWAT teams standing by, if he uses that phone, we'll have him."

Crap! She thought. She HAD to warn John! He _would _use his phone again and when he did… She closed her eyes briefly to rid herself of the mental image of John in handcuffs. She didn't know what she was going to do, but she knew she could _not_ allow that to happen. Even if she had not been in love with him she wouldn't have… 'Fuck! Where had that thought come from?' She wondered and sat there for a second examining the thought she'd just had. She loved him….she almost spoke the thought aloud, trying to get herself used to the idea. Thankfully Donnelly was occupied with his iPad and didn't notice her distraction. Were her feelings for John _that_ serious? She definitely cared about him, but LOVED him? She shook her head. She hadn't been in love with anyone else since her husband; had never opened herself up to those kinds of feelings again. At yet, when she thought about it, thought about HIM, it just felt right. He wasn't a perfect person. He'd done some pretty terrible things, but she knew he regretted them, that they haunted his dreams. He said as much during their discussions this weekend. Besides, she didn't need or want perfect, she wasn't, so why should she expect him to be? What she needed and wanted was _him_. That's what it came down to. Somehow, sometime, he and his kind, compassionate heart had wormed its way into hers. She couldn't imagine her life without him, couldn't imagine doing the things she'd done to protect him for anyone else. For him and the task he'd undertaken all in the name of redemption and care for his fellow human beings.

Joss sat there in that car, wishing more than anything that she could reach out to John now and tell him of her revelation. He'd disbelieve her at first, but it was important that he know. That he realize he was worthy of love…of _her_ love. The need was almost overwhelming and had her fidgeting in the car.

Donnelly took in her anxious state and mistakenly thought she was anxious to catch 'the Man in a Suit'. He smiled. "It's only a matter of time Carter. Think of this as a stake out. We just have to wait patiently for our perp to make a mistake."

Joss just nodded at him, forcing a smile on her face despite the fact that she wanted to scream in his face that he'd gotten it all wrong, John was not a perp, he was a man who'd taken on extreme danger day after day, all in the name of redemption and guilt. Instead, she turned to look out the window and silently weighed her options.

***************************

At one point, Donnelly got out of the car to confer with the FBI SWAT teams. She watched him anxiously, fidgeting with her decommissioned phone and wondering if she dared. Thinking about John being in Donnelly's hands had her decided. How could she NOT dare to take the chance for_ him_? She put the battery back in her phone and turned it on, hoping that Finch was listening.

Several hours later, just as it was getting light, Donnelly rushed up to the car, telling her there had been a 911 call about a possible underground explosion in the same place as an IMEI burst. "It's him Carter! We're gonna hook-up with SWAT on the way. Are you with us?" He asked quickly.

"Yeah, of course. I just have to make a phone call."

"Alright, make it quick." He said, jumping into the SUV. She walked quickly out of earshot and dialed Fusco's number.

"Hi, Mom? Can you make sure Taylor gets to school?" Fusco, his usual dense self, didn't get it at first; even having the nerve to ask her if she'd been drinking!

"Tell Harold Donnelly's headed to Wall Street. He says John is there, he's tracking the phones." She spoke in a low tone of voice and then said more loudly, "Ok Mom, yes, thank you. I love you." She then jumped in the back of the SUV with Donnelly. As they drove, sirens screaming, Joss could feel her adrenaline spiking. Taking several deep breaths, she told herself that John would be ok. Harold would never let him be caught. He'd gotten out of similar situations before…. None of her pep talk helped…. She focused on remaining calm though so as not to give away her concern. She needn't have bothered she realized, Donnelly was too engrossed with making sure everyone had their orders.

When they pulled up to the bank, several customers were entering the bank. It looked like just another regular business day, people slowly shuffling into the bank as usual. "Looks like nothing's going on inside." She threw in as a last ditch effort to try and distract Donnelly.

"No, the signal's still active and the 911 call said the explosion was underground, remember? He's in there." He said with a single minded intensity.

He quickly gave instructions to the other agents and the SWAT members rushed into the building yelling 'FBI! Put up your hands!' She followed Donnelly in and looking around, she immediately saw something that made her blood run cold. In the upstairs foyer, Harold was standing in front of two people and all of them had their hands in the air…and _none_ of them was John. 'Fuck!' He must be here somewhere if Harold had felt the need to interfere personally. She quickly followed Donnelly, hoping her legs would hold her up. He just couldn't catch John! He just couldn't, damn it! They headed to the nearest stairs and proceeded down, just as a SWAT member rushed up to them.

"We've got him secured, Sir."

"Very good!" Donnelly suddenly had the biggest smile she'd ever seen on his face. Meanwhile, she thought her heart would beat out of her chest at any moment. They rounded a corner in the basement and the sight of 'The Man in the Suit' standing in front of them, faced away but with his hands in the air, almost had her crying out, "NO!" She stopped herself just in the nick of time.

"We finally got you." Donnelly said with a smug tone. One of the SWAT members swung the man around to face them and Joss could barely contain the triumphant smile on her face. 'Oh thank God!' She thought in relief, it wasn't John!

"Sir, there's a problem." Another SWAT member said and moved aside to reveal three more men in suits behind him. The first two were unknown to her but the last…. Dear God, the last one was John! She almost sank to her knees. Just when she'd thought he'd gotten away free and clear, some cruel twist of fate brought him back here, caught in an inescapable situation. It was only the calm look in his eyes that had her rooted to the floor, unmoving and silent. He looked…..resigned. And perhaps he was. But SHE was not! She hadn't even had a chance to tell him she loved him! Perhaps now she might never get that chance. Her heart was being squeezed and broken into a thousand pieces right now and he was…. calm, seemingly accepting his fate. Well the hell with that! SHE wasn't going to accept it! She would do whatever she could to get him out of this. She had too many things she needed to say to him and too many things she wanted to experience with him to just accept that it was all over! It took her a second to realize that Donnelly was speaking to her.

"Well, do you recognize him?"

She made a pretense of looking them over. John wouldn't even look at her. Maybe he was afraid he'd give something away.

"Ah…No." She said.

"Cuff 'em all!" Donnelly snarled and walked away. She stood there, a feeling of immense helplessness threatening to overwhelm her as she watched HER John being cuffed and led away.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: I can't tell you all how much I appreciate the reviews you guys write. They inspire me to write more and write better. I hope to continue to bring you guys a story worth your time to read and review.**

**Chapter 12**

As soon as John was gone, Joss took a deep breath, trying to decide what her first course of action would be. She knew Donnelly had DNA and fingerprint evidence against John. She wasted no time bemoaning the fact that he had the fingerprint evidence courtesy of her. At the time, she had just been doing her job and John had yet to be "reformed" as he'd referred to it. She had no time for recriminations therefore she wouldn't allow them. She had to move on and find a way to either corrupt the evidence or make it disappear. As soon as she was able, she knew she could get to the fingerprint evidence. The DNA evidence might be a little trickier. Perhaps Finch would have some ideas on that. She was sure he would also be working tirelessly to free John. After all that John had gone through to get him back, Finch would do no less. She and John had yet to discuss Finch and his partnership, but it was obvious to her that the two men shared a mutual respect and friendship probably engendered by the nature of the work they did together. Having a plan allowed her to finally move her feet forward. She would stick close to Donnelly and then take the first opportunity to get rid of the evidence.

**************************

An hour later, Joss watched as the four men had their cheeks swabbed to collect DNA samples. Donnelly seemed to have gotten over his anger and disappointment at being once more foiled but his single-mindedness was still a palpable force. He insisted that the men be kept in isolation with no contact with their lawyers. The warden at the head of Riker's raised some objections to Donnelly's classification of the men as terrorists and was clearly not on Donnelly's side. Joss made a mental note of it, wondering if it was something she could exploit.

While the men were being processed in, Joss told Donnelly that she had to get back to her precinct to deal with a few matters that couldn't wait. She promised to stay in touch and Donnelly once more reassured her, "We _will_ get this guy, Carter. It's just a matter of time." She just nodded and left, his words echoing in her brain and hurrying her feet. Right now, time was her most precious commodity.

As soon as she arrived at the precinct, Joss set about getting ahold of John's fingerprints. She sat at her desk and watched for her first opportunity to get into the Captain's office. Forty long minutes later it came in the form of a call from one of her fellow homicide investigators. It seemed there was a jurisdiction problem and the Captain was forced to come down and throw his weight around a bit. The moment she was sure he was gone, Joss grabbed a bunch of files and walked into the Captain's office. She wasted no time in grabbing the file room keys from his top drawer and looking around to make sure no one was watching, she sat down at his computer. She touched the mouse and the screen came out of sleep mode. She smiled to see her instincts had been right, the Captain rarely remembered to sign out before leaving his office. Quickly connecting to AFIS, she used his access to remove the electronic records of John's fingerprints. She quickly returned the computer back to the file the Captain had been last accessing and walked out, heading to the file room to find the hard copy of John's fingerprints. She returned the keys to the desk when she was done and sat down heavily in her chair, having completed her task in less than twenty minutes. As she sat there trying to calm her racing heart, her disposable phone rang. She jumped at the sound but told herself she needed to relax NOW before anyone became suspicious.

"Carter."

"Hello Detective. I was wondering if you could meet me for a few minutes to discuss our mutual friend."

She readily agreed and Finch gave her his location as the Brooklyn School of Sciences and Humanities. Joss frowned, wondering what he was doing there but hung up, anxious to reassure him that John had nothing to worry about in terms of fingerprint evidence.

****************************

She walked up to the school and saw Finch limping his way to a nearby bench. They sat down together and Finch tried to tell her he had the situation well in hand, that he didn't want her crossing some kind of line…

She interrupted him, "To do this…" She pulled out the hard copy of John's fingerprints. "I already deleted them from the network too. That line you're talking about, I crossed it a long time ago. Now we have to deal with the DNA sample. FBI keeps it in a secure lab here in NY. I know what to do. But I'm gonna need a couple things from you." Harold gave her a puzzled look and she returned it with a determined look of her own. She _would_ find a way to help John. She was hoping that Finch would be an ally in this but if not, she was prepared to go it alone. Donnelly's doggedness in pursuing this case was nothing in the face of her resolve to get John out and back by her side where he belonged.

************************

Joss called Finch when she was ready for the first step in the plan to dispose of the DNA evidence.

"I got the package you sent over but if I'm gonna wade into this pool, I need the right specs."

"Sending them to you now." Finch answered. "Our friend in Riker's is counting on you."

"Ok," she said looking at her phone and taking a deep breath. She could do this, she _would_ do this for her man.

"Knock 'em dead Detective." Finch wished her luck before hanging up.

She stood in front of the mirror for a brief second, checking to make sure everything was in place and she looked her best. Damn, she looked hot if she did say so herself. She couldn't help but wish that John were here to see her like this. He'd never seen her in a dress before. And this one hugged all the right places while displaying her assets nicely. Well, if this plan worked, she thought, she'd make sure he got the chance.

"They won't know what hit 'em." She smiled at herself in the mirror. She exited the bathroom and approached the bar. She didn't miss the looks she was getting from the men as she walked past. Her lips curved into a smile. Perhaps this would be easier than she thought. She approached the bar and was about to order when a large guy at the end tried to order her a drink instead. She smiled and told him she was looking for someone a bit more specific…..someone who matched the physical description of John, at least insofar as that was possible. Spotting her mark, she smiled at him and when he returned the smile, she sauntered over to him.

The next hour was one of the longest hours of her life. She was reminded over and over again why she had been unenthusiastic about dating once her husband was gone. But then again, if this worked out, she'd never have to this again. She'd be with John then and she'd be damned if she'd let him slip away. Forcing her mind back to the task at hand, Joss asked all sorts of questions of the man she'd picked and when the answers confirmed that this guy could stand in for a double in terms of DNA, she slipped him a mickey and suggested they continue their conversation elsewhere. The guy jumped at the chance to get her alone and Joss left the bar with him, flirting excessively to keep his mind off her strange questions. He helped her into his car and then walked around to the driver's side. The drugs were already taking effect and the guy could barely keep his eyes open as he asked if they would be 'getting into anything' tonight.

"I am." She told him, putting on purple nitrile gloves.

"Whoa, I don't know what happened. I didn't even have that much…to…drink…." And then he passed out and she collected a DNA sample from him. She sighed with relief as the first stage in Operation: Borrowed Ladder, as she referred to the idea of substituting another's DNA for John's, went without a hitch. Now, for the next stage.

**************************

The next night found her sitting in her car outside the FBI crime lab. She was waiting until Finch gave her the all clear to enter the building. She wasn't quite sure how he was going to accomplish it, but he'd told her he could help her avoid the security guards inside. As she waited, she took a second to reflect on what she was about to do. She, an officer of the law, was about to break the law and break it in a big way. If anyone had told her six months ago that she'd be doing this, Joss would have slapped some cuffs on them and made a mental health call to Bellevue. But now it didn't seem so strange to think about breaking the law like this. That's what doing this job with Finch and John had done for her. She no longer saw things strictly in black and white. She now had to admit there were some gray areas.

They say that love is blind and can make you do strange things she thought, but that wasn't the sole reason she was doing this. The fact that John had saved her and her son's life certainly had something to do with it. But in the main, it was because in this instance, the _right_ thing to do _was_ to break the law. She had gotten her law degree because she had wanted to see justice served. When she realized that being a lawyer did not always mean that would be the case, she'd decided to switch to a career in which she would be more directly involved in giving justice to the victims. In becoming a homicide detective, she was able to speak for those who no longer had a voice, to give them a more direct form of justice.

It was primarily for that reason that she was sitting outside this crime lab, waiting to commit at least one felony. Putting John behind bars was _not_ serving justice at all. He was responsible for saving countless lives in the year he and Finch had been working together, people who might have had no one else to turn to for help if not for them. Yes, John had committed some questionable acts, at least in his opinion, in hers he was simply following orders like a good soldier. But in making him 'pay' for those crimes, they were taking so much more from humanity than they would gain by putting John behind bars. So, in the end, it all came down to a sense of justice. Joss felt that providing justice for future victims and for John himself, took precedence over upholding the letter of the law.

"It's all clear Detective and remember, time is ticking for our friend in Rikers."

"Don't worry, I know what to do." And with that, Joss exited her car and took that last final step over the line she'd crossed in first helping John. There was no going back after this but she couldn't bring herself to care.

Once inside, she looped the camera feeds so that they showed an empty hallway while she put gloves on and broke into the lab, locating John's DNA and replacing it with the sample she had collected. She smiled to herself as she walked out, glad that in serving justice, she'd also been able to help her man. John belonged with her, not rotting in a jail with the worst kind of scum of humanity.

*****************************

The next day, found Joss waiting outside the holding area, anxiously awaiting John's release. She was nervous and fidgeting, hardly believing that she would get to see him in just a few short minutes. She began making plans, wanting to take him home, cook him a decent meal and then spend most of the night holding him. She knew she needed the comforting contact and she suspected he might too.

The minute that John appeared, his eyes focused right to hers. He maintained a blank face, but she saw the light in his eyes for a brief moment before he shut it down. Without warning, Donnelly appeared.

"Stop right there!" He demanded. "These men have all been classified as unlawful combatants by the AUMF." He told the warden. Her eyes widened in surprise and she saw John's close for a minute before he reopened them and the hard, blank look came back to his eyes. His eyes slid to hers briefly as she listened to Donnelly's explanation.

"Until we can establish that they are not a threat to national security, these men are not going anywhere. Put 'em back!" He commanded. Joss saw that John was no longer even looking her way, perhaps he was afraid he'd put her in jeopardy by giving her away. She wanted desperately to let him know that she wasn't giving up, but her brain just wouldn't work after the shock of seeing John so close and then having his freedom ripped away once more.  
Donnelly approached her and she gathered herself together so that he wouldn't see the disappointment on her face. "Just the person I wanted to see." He told her.

"What's going on? I thought the evidence cleared these guys." She asked.

"The DNA and the fingerprints, it's all too neat. I've been burned too many times trying to bring this man to justice. There's only one person I know I can trust anymore…you. You've been chasing him from the beginning and we've only got one shot left at him Detective. If he walks out of here, we're never gonna see him again. I know you were a senior interrogator in Iraq. It's time to put those military skills to use. I want you to interrogate every last one of these men. Find out who they are, what they know. You can start with him."

Donnelly pointed to where John was being re-cuffed. His eyes met hers but he had no reaction other than maintaining eye contact for a bit longer than necessary. She hoped he'd seen that her heart was in her eyes before he was led away.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Betcha didn't expect an update so soon :) ****. Thanks to a hubby who FINALLY took the hint and cleaned the house, I had a bit more time on my hands to write. I'm thinking the next chapter after this will also be in canon with the episode but then I may go off the reservation, if you will and write a bit more "fun" stuff. It'll all depend on what happens next in Dead Reckoning eppy. So for now, enjoy and as Elias says, "I'll see you on the other side."**

**Chapter 13**

Damn the man! Damn! Damn! Damn! Joss cursed under her breath as Donnelly stopped John's release. She'd been so close to getting him out too! Why did Donnelly have to be so effing tenacious? Why couldn't he just let this go? She knew why, and whether she admitted it to herself or not, she would have done the exact same thing in his place. He was suspicious of everything these days and unfortunately his feelings were not without justification. All of which left her anxious, worried and disappointed. Donnelly wanted her to interrogate John and the others? Would she be able to do it? Could she pick apart every facet of John's life and spill it all out on the table for all to see? How could she do this without giving away her feelings for the man?

She didn't have the answers to those questions and about a hundred others that sprang to mind, but she knew she had to try. For both their sakes, she needed to bury her feelings deep, deep down and think about this rationally and calmly. After all of the things she'd done, she knew she couldn't fail to do this as well. John was counting on her as were Harold, Fusco and all the people that John had yet to help. She couldn't, wouldn't let them down. So she reached deep down into that strong, steely place inside her and brought out the Joss Carter that had helped her get through the hell that had been Iraq, the devastation of her husband leaving and the pain of raising a child by herself. THAT Carter could handle all this turmoil so THAT Carter she would be.

In next to no time, Donnelly had all four men in separate interrogation rooms with cameras set up to record their every word, sigh, and muscle twitch. Taking her lead from Donnelly's words that she start with John, she marched into the room and seated herself across the table from where he sat, still in handcuffs.

"You're being held as an unlawful combatant under provisions of the AUMF, the NDA and the Patriot Act. You will be detained indefinitely and denied access to legal counsel until your true identity is confirmed and it is determined that you are not a threat to national security. So if you ever want to get out of here, you need to start answering questions."

John looked at her directly but did not speak. Up close, she could see the tension in his body. Nothing that anyone else would notice, but after months of watching the man closely and secretly harboring feelings for him, she could just tell. Perhaps it was the thinning of the lips or the way he held his jaw, maybe the way he sat with his hands unmoving but pulled into his body. Either way, he was tense, probably not knowing what to expect from her. She suspected he'd been interrogated before, but never from a lover.

When she got no response, she sat there for several minutes, waiting for him to speak but other than keeping his eyes on her, he continued to have no outward reaction. It was enough of an excuse that she felt it was alright to move onto the next man without raising suspicions.  
The next man was more talkative. He told her his name was Devin Clark and that he owned a pest control business. His excuse for being in the bank that day is that he was there to secure a loan.

The third man had some story about being down in the basement, inspecting the property before investing in it. The fourth man, who gave his name as Vincent Holt, was rather belligerent, making sure she knew that he was prepared to sue her and everyone else connected with his wrongful imprisonment.

After the preliminary questions about why the men were all on the bank, she was forced to go back to John as other agents began checking out the other men's covers.

"You're being watched you know." She said by way of warning, though it could just as easily have been a scare tactic used by an interrogator. "The longer you wait to talk, the more guilty you look." She walked all around him as he was forced to sit at the table. He bowed his head to scratch his cheek. The stubble on his face rasped as he rubbed and the handcuffs clinked as he moved.

"So… let's start with your name." She was standing next to him, above him, a technique that was intended to put the prisoner in his place, to show who had the power.

John hesitated before finally speaking, looking up and to the side. Perhaps because he wasn't sure how she'd react to his fabrication. She pursed her lips, wishing he had a bit more faith in her. She didn't even entertain the thought that perhaps the lack of faith was in himself.

"John Warren, just like it says on my license." She glanced at the two way mirror to see if Donnelly had any reaction to this information but she heard no tap on the glass to indicate he knew this was false.

"Ok Mr. Warren, do you mind telling me what you were doing in the bank Monday morning?"

"I was meeting clients. I'm an investment banker. When I heard the explosion I saw smoke coming from the stairwell." He finally looked at her as he spoke, speaking clearly and slowly as if he had nothing to hide. "I used to be in the military so I went down to see if I could help. I could hear shots fired and your SWAT team knocked me to the ground and cuffed me before I could even explain."

He held up his hands, opening them as if to show he had nothing to hide. Her eyes couldn't help but be drawn to his wrists where the cuffs were rubbing the skin raw. She frowned and had to swallow past the lump in her throat. "Basically, from that moment on they treated me like some kind of terrorist." He leaned forward to show his earnestness. "Look, I don't know why I'm here or who you think I am. But I have a life I really need to get back to." For a second, she lost her composure in front of him, knowing he really meant that he wanted to get back to a life with _her. _It was the reason why he was able to be so compelling with his next words.

"And if they won't let me see a lawyer then you're my only hope. Please….I just wanna go home." _To you. _He didn't have to say but she sucked in her breath, know he was speaking directly to her in the only way he could. She stood up then and exited the room.

"Look, I wanna uncuff these guys." She told Donnelly.

"Carter, one of these men is a highly trained, covert assassin…."

"I need them to trust me."

Donnelly nodded in agreement and told her that so far, all the men's stories had checked out. He speculated that this was because the group supporting the Man in the Suit had almost unlimited resources to make up a very convincing cover. He asked her to come along as they checked out the office listed in John Warren's information. She agreed but as soon as Donnelly was not looking, she pulled out her phone and texted Finch that they had a problem. Finch's answer told her that he was not concerned.

She saw why when they arrived. If she didn't know any better, the bustling office and the concerned secretary sure would have convinced her that John Warren existed. Walking towards a spot with more privacy as Donnelly practically packed up the entire office, Joss dialed Finch.

"It's a nice office isn't it?" He asked by way of greeting.

"When you cook up a cover, you don't mess around." She told him with a smile of incredulity. He proceeded to explain about John's clean cover, as he called it, warning her that it still could be compromised by the smallest detail. He also warned her of the danger to her. They then spoke about the idea of pinning this on one of the other men. Joss had very little qualms about that, seeing as the men were there in the bank with the intention of murdering two people. It would be better for everyone if they could take one of them off the streets permanently.

Just then, Donnelly called her. She hung up the phone and asked him what he thought of all this.

"Looks pretty damn real to me." She almost smiled, 'finally!' But then his next words had her wanting to throw her hands up in the air. "But maybe that just tells us how long he's been undercover. Look, from now on, I want you to wear this. It's a wireless ear piece. It's linked to my laptop so I can feed you questions and information during our interrogations. It'll help us be a better team. Together, we're gonna sift through their lives with a fine toothed comb." She nodded to him but as soon as he walked away, she couldn't contain her look of disgust and concern.

"Have you ever killed anyone?" Joss asked as an opening question in the second round of interrogations. John's eyebrows shot up at that. As if he had no idea where the question was coming from; and if he'd truly been innocent, it would have seemed that way. She had to admire the way he was playing this thing.

"Have you?" He turned it around to her.

"Playing games doesn't help your cause Mr. Warren. Answering questions does." She had to keep her hands clasped together in front of her, she was afraid she might make some kind of mistake otherwise.

Donnelly's voice spoke in her ear, telling her to keep him on the defensive.

"Now, have you…ever killed….anyone?"

"Yes." He stated simply, not even blinking an eye. He proceeded to tell her a story about killing a Serb militant one night while he was in the Army. He barely moved, barely breathed, rarely blinked, it was just his low voice pulling her in, wrapping her in his words as he spoke. It was as if he broke a spell when he turned and looked away, telling her that he didn't like to talk about it.

And then Donnelly's voice came grating back into her ears, telling her to keep pushing.

"How long did you serve in the military?" She asked, continuing to let him direct her questions.

While it wasn't obvious, she wanted him to tell her what information he could give so that she wouldn't inadvertently ask a question to which he had no answer that fit with his cover story.

He answered her question, giving her a small smile which she returned, drinking in the pleasure of being this close to him. If this whole thing didn't work out, this might be the last time she ever had the chance. He then switched to talking about his family and since her back was to the mirror, she felt safe in continuing to smile at him. Once more Donnelly's voice interrupted her, barking in her ear to get back to the dead Serb. She ignored him and listened as John smiled at her, relating his cover's family history.

Once more, he turned the question back on her. "So where did you serve?" He asked, cocking his head to the side. He almost gave her one of his patented smirks when he said, "You didn't ask what old Ironsides was." She moved her jaw back and forth, trying not to smile at his cleverness but then she couldn't help it and she smiled and gave a small laugh. If she didn't know any better, she'd think the man was flirting with her! Here, inside a maximum security prison, his life hanging in the balance and he was thinking of her. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

She answered his question. Gave him information he already knew from their discussions over the weekend…Damn! It was hard to believe that all of that had occurred just a few short days ago. It was beginning to feel like it had all been an incredible dream, especially in the face of the current monstrous situation they were involved with now.

He continued to smile at her as she asked her questions and she at him. Soaking up the warmth and charisma that was John Reese. That was until Donnelly knocked on the window, bringing them both back to reality and bringing a scowl to John's face.

She got up and left and as soon as she walked out, Donnelly began questioning her technique. "I'm building rapport." She tried to keep herself calm and collected. "That's how you get good intel." She got up in his face and asked in a biting tone, "Would you rather I water-boarded him?" Donnelly immediately backed off and changed the subject. He started on a rant about powerful forces already sabotaging the investigation and encouraged her to move onto the other three men. She did, asking quick, rapid fire questions, hoping to catch one of them in a lie. Finally, she got a break.

"What was your MOS?" She fired at the man named Watts.

"I told you I wasn't in the military." He answered.

"Then how the hell did you know what an MOS was? Now, what's your damn name!" She demanded coolly from her chair, all her experience in interrogation techniques coming quickly back to her.

At that point, Donnelly came in and gave him his real name. Joss was so relieved to find out that someone else had had a military background besides John. _And_had lied about it. She was sure she could pin this all on him….until Donnelly dashed her hopes by telling her that Brian Kelly aka Watts, was in Iraq during the time of the New Rochelle incident.

A minute later, a respite came in the form of the warden taking the men for a break for food and exercise.

The next time she 'went into the box' with John, he continued his flirting with her. This time, he slid his leg forward until his feet were touching hers. Then he moved them around to bracket hers. Neither the camera nor Donnelly were able to see what was going on under the table. It was the only form of touching allowed to them right now, and she knew they both wished it were his arms around her instead of his feet. Moving his long, dexterous fingers…..those instruments of both death and pleasure, he stroked the side of his face, his meaning clear. It was _her _face that he was stroking in his mind.

"Do you have any enemies?" She asked after trying to calm the flutters in her body, imagining his touch on her right now, despite the watchful eyes of Donnelly.

"Well, I'm pretty sure the guy behind that mirror isn't a fan." He deflected the issue with a joke that brought a smile to her face once more.

Donnelly's voice once more a strident sound in her ear, telling her to keep pushing.

"Why did you leave the military?" She asked. He told her it was time; that he was afraid that the military would be all that he knew if he stayed, all the while drawing her attention to what his fingers were doing, as she remembered all the moans of pleasure he'd elicited from her with them. Suddenly he dropped them in his lap.

Without their distraction, Joss was able to focus in on what he was telling her. After the military, he'd moved from place to place, lost, and somehow she knew that this part was the truth.

"And then a good man found me and gave me….a purpose.."

"Who was that?" She asked. Drawn once more into his story.

"My current employer, Howard French."

Without warning, Finch's voice sounded in her ear and she damn near gave it away with her look of astonishment. He told her that she didn't need to worry about John's cover story about his employer, assured her that Donnelly couldn't hear him before getting off the line. Donnelly then told her that one of the other suspects was ready to talk and she excused herself.

The man who called himself Devin Clark told her that he was ready to talk, that he wouldn't allow someone else to rat him out. He demanded immunity in exchange for any information he gave her. Donnelly rushed in, grilling him about his affiliation with various intelligence groups and if he'd ever been to New Rochelle.

"Donnelly, you're showing all our cards!" She protested.

"Shock and awe, Detective. We need to know he's our man before we even consider a deal."

He turned back to Charles MacAvoy and told him that if he gave up the Man in the Suit, he would offer him a deal. Just as Donnelly was shaking hands with MacAvoy, a siren sounded. Immediately a guard came in and rushed MacAvoy out, saying there was a fire. About the same time, Joss was startled to hear Finch's voice in her ear, claiming to be the one who set off the fire alarms.

"I need you to drop your phone in MacAvoy's pocket. Now." He told her. She did what he asked, trying to block what she was doing with her body so that the guard behind her didn't see.

When they came back in, Donnelly slapped the immunity deal down on the table and MacAvoy offered up the man claiming to be Vincent Holt as the Man in the Suit. Joss was just about to breathe a sigh of relief when another agent came in and said something to Donnelly.

Immediately he reached over and threw the immunity deal in the garbage.

"Someone got to you didn't they?" He asked, storming out.

Damn! They were SO close to getting John out! She punched the table in frustration and followed Donnelly out.

"What's goin on?" She asked Donnelly.

"Brian Kelly just hung himself in his cell." His every word dripping with disbelief. "Between that, this glitch in the fire alarm system and the fact that MacAvoy's hands are sweating now when they were bone dry twenty minutes ago and I don't trust anyone anymore."

Wow! Thought Joss. Just because he seemed paranoid, didn't mean that he wasn't observant! And in this case, he was right, _someone_did get to MacAvoy.

"Someone's been tampering with this investigation since it started. And if he's saying it's Holt, then I think it's Warren."

Fuck! He was onto John! Why the hell was Donnelly so tenacious with this thing? She was dying to ask him. What was it about this case that had him so wrapped up that he saw shadows behind every corner? If only she was able to put _him_ into an interrogation room! For just a split second, the idea that John might not get out of this crossed her mind. Angrily, she pushed it away. She didn't have time for doubts. John needed her and she _would _come through for him, no matter what. So she straightened her back, kept her head up and made a vow to be just as persistent as Donnelly was, but in clearing John's name, rather than catching him.

"Alright Carter, get in there with Warren and break him." He told her.

"You still haven't told me why you left the military." She opened with.

"You still haven't told me if you killed anyone." He answered back. She smiled as he attempted to turn things back around on her.

"Stay on offense Carter, don't let him control the conversation." Donnelly's voice was like an annoying insect in her ear. She did her best to ignore it, though she did have to be careful as he seemed to be catching onto what she'd been doing.

As if that wasn't enough, Harold came on the line telling her to take it slow so that he could back up whatever John was telling her. If she could have, she would have taken the damn earpiece out and thrown it across the room! It was like having the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other, both whispering advice in her ear.

"When was the last time you left the country?" She asked.

"I was in Mexico for business last May, so the third through the fifth." He answered without hesitation and she realized that those dates matched up with his run in with Marshall Jennings and the man's subsequent incarceration in a Mexican prison. Clever, John, clever. She smiled at him again.

"Ever been married?" She asked. She'd never asked him this, not having thought it mattered to her, but she found herself wishing she knew the truth right now. Was there ever anyone in his life that might have been willing to do what she'd done for him recently?

"No."

"Live with anyone?"

"Why? Are you interested?" His words and the accompanying smirk made her smile. He was asking her that in the middle of the interrogation? Was he crazy? Still, the thought of living with him, waking up to him every morning had her smiling with pleasure. Leave it to Donnelly to bring her back to reality.

"Get him to name a girlfriend, somebody he's been in a relationship with."

And then there was Finch, chiming right after Donnelly…these voices in her head were getting QUITE annoying. Perhaps she had a little bit of sympathy for those mentally ill people who said the voices in their head made them do it. But, as Finch requested, she stalled to give him time to invent a girlfriend for John.

"Tell you what, I'll answer your question and then you answer one of mine." She took a deep breath and began talking. "Have I ever killed anyone? Yeah." John looked at her with concern, a concern she knew wasn't fake. This wasn't something you went around sharing with just anyone. She proceeded to tell the story of the first time she'd had to kill someone…an unknown guy in Iraq. It seemed that the military had made killers of them both.

When she was done, Finch gave her the go-ahead and she asked him her question. "Ever been in love?"

He pursed his lips and said quietly, "Once. Allison West. There's your answer by the way."

"To what?" She questioned.

"Why I left the military." John didn't look at her much as he related the story of how he'd been with Allie when the towers had come down. How he'd seen that if he went back into the service, he'd have missed out on a whole other life with her.

"So I stayed." He said. Joss once more felt that he was talking directly to her, telling her the story of how things had been with Jessica. She wasn't sure how she knew…..

"What happened?" She asked quietly.

"I was an idiot, let her slip away." Just as he'd done with Jessica, she thought he was trying to say. "I instantly regretted it but it was too late. It's funny how the choices you make change who you become." Her eyes became sad at that. She knew he was talking about if he'd made the choice to stay, he wouldn't have become the killer he still saw himself as. "You pick one path or the other, you hear an explosion at a bank, try to help, suddenly….. All these years later, I still wonder, if I'd have re-upped when the towers came down," He swallowed and she unintentionally copied him, trying not to let the tears fall as she realized that despite everything he'd done, he still saw himself as a monster. She wished she could show him that he wasn't; that he was no longer that man that killed people in cold-blood. And even then, she'd bet he'd felt remorse at what he was doing. He was too good of a man to do otherwise. No matter how deeply he thought he'd buried that decent, caring man, she _knew_ he was there inside. And she prayed, with everything in her, that she'd get the chance to show _him_what she knew to be true.

She got up and walked out, asking Donnelly if he had any proof that Warren wasn't who he said he was.

He looked at her weirdly but said, "There's one last test we can try." She followed him into a room and saw John being released into the yard.

"Just what kind of test is this exactly?"

"One of my people spotted the Aryans hassling Warren earlier. So if we let nature run its course, maybe the Man in the Suit will show us his combat skills."

"Are you crazy?" The Warden jumped in, echoing her thoughts. "You'll start a riot!"

"Lock all the guards out of the yard. NOW." Donnelly told him.

Her heart started racing as she watched John take right hook after right hook. His face was covered in blood as he made what she knew to be a half-hearted attempt to defend himself. Over and over, he took blow after bruising blow, another prisoner holding him upright so that his body could be hit repeatedly.

She almost got sick to her stomach as she heard Donnelly muttering, "Come on, fight back."

She could barely stand to watch this! Why was Donnelly allowing this? It felt like she could feel ever blow, hear the sickening sounds of flesh striking flesh with too much force. She fidgeted, rocking back and forth, wanting this all to stop…God in heaven! Why wasn't he stopping this? They were kicking John as he lay on the ground. Just as she was about to beg him to stop this, she heard a whistle and the men instantly stopped. Never, never in a million years would she _ever_think she'd be as grateful to see Elias as she was then. He put a stop to the beating and the irony wasn't lost on her that the "good" guy had allowed the brutal beating while the "bad" guy had stopped it.

Finally she couldn't hold her tongue any longer, the anger just came boiling out of her. "What the hell happened to you?" She demanded of Donnelly. "You used to be good police. Ever since this thing started you've been bending the rules." He tried to talk over her, telling her some line about it being in the country being under attack but she was having none of it and yelled louder. "And this, this is not right Donnelly. You are over the line!" Her voice got louder and louder as she let the anger and pain have free rein. "All you have to do is watch!" She yanked the earpiece out of her ear and stormed off yelling to the other agents, "Get Vincent Holt back in that box!" She threw her jacket on a chair and grabbed the file on the Man in the Suit. She knew what she had to do and she would do it to avoid having to see what happened in the yard, happen again.

She was hard and quick with her accusations, threatening to throw his ass in Gitmo if he didn't give her a name. He must have believed her, must have seen something in her eyes because he finally relented and gave her a name. Unfortunately, that wasn't what Joss _really_wanted so she pushed harder and harder, lying to him, saying Kelly had ratted him out as being the one who set the explosives.

"That wasn't us!" He spoke rashly, his jaw muscles bunching and she knew….she knew she was going to get what she wanted….she got in his faced and pushed hard, one more time…and then….just as she'd hoped, she goaded him into acting out, he grabbed her by the neck and started choking her, all the while her mind was screaming YES! YES!

The guards came running in, grabbing Holt off her and she had to bite back a smile. She walked out of the room, rubbing her neck to emphasize how violent the man was. "That's your man Donnelly." She said bitingly, looking him up and down, almost daring him to object in the face of what had been done to her.

As soon as she got outside the prison, she called Finch from a pay phone. She could hear the fear in his voice as he told her that he was prepared to break John out of prison.

"That won't be necessary Finch, the situation's under control. And by the way, you owe me a phone." She smiled and hung up.

Now that John was finally out, Joss felt such a release of pent up emotion, she knew she wasn't ready to go home. Instead, she turned up her collar and took a walk along the waterfront, hoping that the sound of the water would soothe her raw nerves. She stopped to gaze out at the skyline and a peaceful feeling descended on her. She had once more done the right thing, had helped someone in need. This was why she loved her job. At the end of the day, she had made things better for someone somewhere.

She felt him behind her before she ever saw him.

"Looking for someone?" He asked in that quiet whisper that did things to her. For a moment, she was just so overwhelmed with emotions at hearing it once again next to her. She just stood there and savored the feeling of having him by her side once more.

She smiled. "No one in particular."

"Fusco didn't want to celebrate my release?" He asked jokingly.

"Finch has him tied up with something."

In tune with one another, they both turned at the same time walking slowly down the deserted boardwalk.

"I just wanna say thank you. I couldn't have gone through this without…." He paused before saying the next word, perhaps too nervous to presume, "….a friend to talk to."

"So…. Was any of it true?" She asked, looking at him and willing him to open up to her. It was so important that he trust her in this if she was to show him the kind of man he really was.

Suddenly his head jerked forward as they heard the cock of a pistol.

"Oh, I sincerely doubt that." Donnelly answered. She stood there rooted to the ground and staring at the man, a nightmare suddenly come to life as he trained his gun on them both.

"Congratulations Carter, you just caught the Man in the Suit. Drop your gun." He told her.  
"Hands in the air." He added keeping his eyes on John. She looked over at John, sighed deeply and saw his jaw clenching. She did _not_want him to risk his life trying to get them out of this impossible situation.

"It's over John." She said, closing her eyes and removing her gun from the holster and placing it on the ground in front of her. John seemed to accept her words and his hands rose in the air.

"Got your bracelets Carter? Put 'em on your friend here." She looked at Donnelly in horror. He was going to make _her_do it! Make her put an end to John's freedom and quest for redemption. At that moment, the cruelty of his request had her hating him as she'd never hated anyone. She looked up and swore she saw tears glistening in his eyes. He walked slowly in front of her and allowed her to cuff him.

"See, I told you we'd catch him. But I'm afraid it's the last collar you'll ever make." Donnelly pulled out his handcuffs and she moved to stand next to John where she belonged, her back to Donnelly as he put the cuffs on her.

"I trusted you Carter and you threw it away along with a very promising career." She saw John look at her with pain in his eyes. It wasn't supposed to be this way! Donnelly patted them both down and she couldn't look away from John, knowing he was blaming himself right now. That this was just one more confirmation of what he already knew….he was a monster and he destroyed everything important to him. He'd said as much in the interrogation.

"I'm sorry." He told her, his mouth tightening with regret. "It was my fault."

"Actually John, it's not. This whole game the two of you have been playing, you didn't give it away, _she_did. And now, I'm gonna find out exactly who you are." He pushed them in front of him and they walked to his SUV. Getting in, Donnelly handcuffed them to the 'Oh shit!' handle over the window.

They drove in silence for several minutes before she finally asked, "Where are you taking us?" John remained silent and blank in the seat next to her. She slid her free hand over to where his sat on the seat and covered it with hers. He gripped hers in his large hand and held it but other than that, there was no reaction from him.

"To a safe house where I'll contact a friend at Justice, figure out how to proceed with your prosecution."

She looked down and then out the window, worried about Taylor and what he would think. She knew her mom would take care of him and she hoped he'd understand about John. He _knew_John, knew he wasn't a cold-blooded killer.

"No back-up?" She commented. "Going it alone huh?"

"Well Carter, I don't know who to trust anymore." She had a moment of sympathy for him, having been there before with her own department.

"When the Man in the…..when John here," She saw John's eyes shift from straight ahead to down, away from her. "Slipped away the first time I knew he had a mole, someone on the inside." John's eyes shifted to Donnelly but his expression remained blank and he sat there silently, listening. "And when his fingerprints went missing and his DNA got switched, I was forced to consider it might be you. I'll admit you played a pretty good game. Til I put him in the yard alone. And that's when I saw it…..in your eyes…genuine concern." His words made him want to throw up. She'd tried to hide her feelings, tried to remain impassive and unemotional but….it just wasn't in her nature. She loved the man passionately and just hadn't been able to hide it well enough.

"How'd he turn you Carter? What was your price?" Donnelly asked. John's eyes slid to hers and she looked at him. Despite what Donnelly thought, she was proud of what she'd done to help this man.

"No price, just helping a friend." She answered firmly.

Donnelly snorted, "Then you've been played for a fool. Recruited as an asset for a private intelligence….." John was smiling a bit, perhaps glad that Donnelly still had no clue about Finch.

"You don't understand, Donnelly," She said leaning forward in her seat, trying to speak earnestly to him. "He's a good man! We were helping people!" She saw John close his eyes and painfully turn away from her as she spoke.

"Oh God! Is THAT what he told you?" Donnelly spoke with disgust in his voice. "Wake up Carter! Your "friend" is nothing more or less that a highly trained murderer!" John closed his eyes and she knew he was once more going back to that dark place he'd been where he was an unemotional, killing machine. He dropped her hand and she felt instantly bereft.

"You don't wind up with that job by accident. He chose that life. He chose to become the monster he is." NO! She wanted to scream, he was NOT a monster! She wanted Donnelly to just shut up. She could see his words were hurting John more than the beating he'd taken. " And now you've made your choice too." She sighed and looked away, knowing Donnelly had his mind made up and with his level of determination, he wouldn't change it. Suddenly the phone rang.

"Who is this?" He challenged. At then the world turned….

A huge Mack truck hit them broadside, flipping the SUV multiple times. She felt like her hand cuffed arm was going to be ripped out of its socket as she was thrown around again and again. They finally came to a stop upside down. As she was taking a second to asses her injuries, she heard the click of a woman's heels approaching. Thank God! She and John would need help getting out of these...she was just about to call out for help when...

Two shots were fired at close range and Donnelly's body jumped as the bullets lodged themselves there. Her instincts were screaming at her to move, but she just couldn't process what was happening. It was like a bad dream where you feel like you're running and yet you see you're not getting anywhere. Her brain just couldn't make her body move. She felt disconnected from it. Her mind fighting the blackness that was encroaching. The woman walked around the front of the SUV and approached John as he was hanging out the window, barely conscious. And then she bent down and spoke to him.

"Hello lover, miss me?" And then the darkness won the fight and Joss heard no more.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: I know it's been awhile but here's the next installment! I wanted to dedicate this chapter to a good friend who's going through a tough time right now. I sometimes feel as though I'm Joss, forced to watch while bad things happen to a friend and not being able to do a damn thing about it. Anyway, the next chapter will cover what I think happened during that day and ½ between when Finch saved John and when he turned up in the library…. Obviously will not be in cannon but then again, I doubt the writers would write John and Joss doing HALF the stuff I have them doing! ;)****  
**

**Chapter 14**

_Joss smiled down at her son as she bounced him on her knee. He was giggling and __laughing while she made faces at him. She rubbed his head, admiring the softness of his black hair. It was getting longer and longer these days. Soon enough, they'd have to take him to get his first haircut. Knowing that her son hated being confined to one place for very long, she smiled, wondering how she might be able to get his father to take him. She watched as his attention was drawn away from her when a sparrow landed on the park bench next to them. He leaned towards the bird, extending a pudgy, light mocha skinned hand out to touch the bird and it promptly flew away. He looked up at her, his face scrunching up as if he was going to cry and she quickly headed off the impending tantrum by singing him a song. Just as she was finishing up, the both of them heard a little girl giggling. _

_"Momma, Momma! Look what Daddy an' me found!" Her daughter yelled from atop her father's shoulders. She was holding out a blue and gray feather. "Daddy said it was from a ….. " she paused, screwing up her face in concentration as she tried to remember what he'd told her what kind of bird it was. "Um, Daddy, what did you say to me?" _

_"It's from a blue jay, sweetheart."_

_"Oh, yeah... I 'member now... Momma, this is a blue jay feather." She announced as if she'd just named the bird all by herself. "Can I keep it? Pleeeease? "_

_"Sure baby. Look, Connor wants to see it too". Her son was practically throwing himself out of her arms, reaching for his sister. "Can you show it to him?" _

_"Time to get down Princess. " John said to Tia, lifting her up off his shoulders, over his head and placing her on the ground._

"Daddeee! I'm not Princess, I'm Tia!" She spoke indignantly, stomping her foot to emphasize her point as she glared up at her father, her hands on her hips.

_Joss had to hide the smile behind her __hand as she watched __her daughter confront John, her startling blue eyes staring him down._ _John squatted down so he was at eye level with his daughter. "Tia, sweetheart, I call you Princess because you're MY special girl."_

_Somewhat mollified, she asked him, "Am I more special than Connor"? _

_John smiled at her. "You're my special GIRL. Connor's my special BOY."_

_Tia frowned, obviously thinking hard about what her father had just told her. "But Mommy's a girl. Am I more special than her?" _

_John looked at Joss and winked. "Yes, you are more of a special girl to me than Mommy." _

_Tia smiled up at John and threw her arms around his neck, squeezing him. "Ok then Daddy, you can call me Princess." John laughed and scooped her up in his arms, tossing her into the air a bit and catching her, to her squealing delight. He was just about to do it again, when he suddenly stopped dead and his face took on a hard, deadly __expression such as Joss'd never seen. It scared her. She stood up with Connor still in her arms and turned to look behind __her at what had suddenly brought out the killer in him. She saw a black-haired woman approaching but her eyes didn't register anything else about her in the next moment because she was too busy staring at the gun the woman had pointed at them. _

_"Joss. Take Tia." He spoke harshly, the anger in his voice mirrored in his face. She moved to grab Tia from him and he shoved them behind him as he withdrew his gun from his pants at the small of his back. _

_"Hello lover." The woman said to John. "Miss me?" She raised her arm as if to fire on them and Joss watched almost in slow motion, as John tried to fire on her first. He crumpled to the ground, a red stain that was quickly spreading, visible on his white shirt over his heart. _

_"NO!" Joss screamed, dropping to her knees next to John, horrified to see the light fading from his eyes as she watched. "NO! NO! NOT LIKE THIS! JOHN!" Her voice was full of agony. She looked up at the woman who smiled an evil smile and suddenly the gun in her hand looked like a cell phone. Frowning, Joss looked back down at John and saw he was wearing a bomb vest. The cell phone trigger attached to it began to ring and then Joss's world exploded in a flash of light and pain._

Joss jerked as her body was filled with pain. Somewhere nearby, a cell phone was still ringing. She reached up and touched the side of her head that felt warm and wet and very painful. Her hand came away covered in blood and she lay for a second, gasping in bewilderment. She shifted slightly and saw Donnelly nearby, lying supine, unmoving and covered in blood. Still, she couldn't wrap her mind around what had happened. Without warning, the cell phone once more began to ring and she turned to look at it. She could just make out the display: **Please answer, Detective.**

Joss reached down and picked up the ringing cell phone from its place on the other car's windshield, trying to ignore the blood on her hand.

"Finch." She said in a confused tone of voice.

"Detective, are you alright?" He seemed relieved and concerned.

"We were ambushed. She killed Donnelly and took John."

"Are you injured?"

"No, I'm just handcuffed." Why couldn't she get ahold of herself? Why was her voice quivering like this? She NEEDED to get it under control, she NEEDED to find John!

"You have to focus now." Finch spoke calmly and slowly in her ear. "You have to find the keys."

She looked over at Donnelly. He must have them on his body somewhere. "Ok, wait, wait, wait…" She reached over and searched his pocket, praying that they were in the one closest to her. If not, she'd have to drag his body…. She shut down her mind on that and a second later, her fingers found the keys. She quickly used them to unlock the cuffs and slid out the window and over the car to the ground.

"Hello?" She said as she tried to get her bearings, tried to walk a bit.

"Detective, did anyone see you with John and Agent Donnelly?"

It took her a second to focus and think back. "I don't think so."

"Then you need to get out of there, NOW". Finch said urgently.

She looked around her in disbelief. Had this _really_ just happened? Was John really gone? What was she going to do? Where did that woman take him? What did she want? Her mind kept spinning around and around. "I can't just flee a crime scene, Finch!"

"I understand Joss but things will get A LOT more complicated if you don't."

Hearing Finch call her by her first name, something he'd never done before, helped bring her back into focus. "Listen Finch, the woman who ambushed us, I think it was his partner from the CIA. The one that Snow said was dead." Her voice was a bit stronger now as she focused on giving him the facts. Her words were met with silence and the panic started pushing its way back in. "Finch!" She cried out. At this moment, he was the only sane thing in her world of insanity.

"Yes. I'm aware of who she is. Now GO, Detective!" He ordered and her feet seemed to think he had the right idea because she was moving before she'd even given it another thought.

************************

How she made it back home, she never knew. She walked into the empty place, knowing Taylor would be off at school. She wanted nothing more than to sink into her bed, forget the entire three days had ever happened. But she knew she'd never be able to sleep in the same bed that she and John had made love in, knowing that he was out there and he needed her help. Instead, she walked to the bathroom and turned on the hot water. She needed to make sure she didn't look like she'd been in a car crash recently, otherwise she'd be unavailable to help John.

When she got out, she slowly got dressed, grimacing in pain as her muscles protested any movement. Just then, the phone rang. She saw it was Fusco calling and did her best to sound normal when she answered it.

"Hello?"

"'Dere you are! You don't answer your cell anymore?"

"I….um…lost it." She scrambled to think about her story, what she was going to tell Fusco about this entire fiasco. "What's up?"

"Call came in this morning. FBI agent was found shot. It was Donnelly. He's dead Carter."

She struggled to keep the emotion out of her voice. "What happened?"

"The feds are trying to find that out. They're asking for you."

"They say why?" Shit! Shit! Did they know? Had she left some evidence that it had been her in the car? Had someone seen her fleeing the scene?

"They know you two were working a case together."

"Um… I'm on my way." She hung up the phone and closed her eyes and then opened them, staring at herself in the mirror. She could do this. She _had_ to do this, for John. She'd almost gotten him out…almost… The tears gathered in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. She angrily brushed them away. She didn't have time for this! She walked out, grabbed her coat and walked out the door. Focused and intent on what she had to do.

********************************

When she arrived at the crash site, Fusco caught her right away. "Hey, you heard from our mutual friends?"

"Why?"

"Glasses sent me out looking for you and Wonderboy last night. Said it was some kind of emergency." Joss glanced around, trying to make sure no one was overhearing this. "Hey, you lose and earring?" He asked for some strange reason.

"Oh! Yeah. Guess I did." Damn! Thank God Fusco had noticed and not someone else, but where the hell was the other one?

From behind Fusco, she saw a tall guy approach. "Excuse me. Are you Detective Carter?"

"Yes." She fought to keep her voice even.

"SAIC Moss. Talk to you a minute?"

"Sure."

"When was the last time you saw Special Agent Donnelly?" He began.

"Uh, yesterday at Rikers."

"Anything out of the ordinary with him? Did he seem concerned or troubled?"

"No, why?"

"That case, your suit guy. Donnelly was spending a lot of time on it. Seemed convinced that this guy you were chasing had backing inside the government. He mention that to you?"

"Not that I can recall."

"His superiors at the bureau were concerned he was getting paranoid, that he might have lost his perspective." He looked at her and waited for an answer. She thought it best to stay silent. "What do you think?" He finally asked.

She looked sadly over at Donnelly's body as they zipped him up in a body bag. "I think Donnelly was a good agent." She didn't have the heart to say anything else. He _had been_ a good agent. If he'd been after anyone else but John, who wasn't deserving of being placed in a prison cell, she would have worked just as hard as he had to get the guy.

"I appreciate your assistance on this Detective, I'll be in touch." He nodded and walked away. In the meantime, Joss knew she had to look for her earring and anything else that might tie her to the scene. She took out a pair of gloves and rooted around in the debris around the SUV.

"You ok?" Fusco said from behind her.

Damn! She hadn't found the earring yet! She stood up. "Yeah."

He held up her lost earring. "You sure?"

She grabbed it out of his hand. He tilted his head to the side and gave her a look. "You wanna tell me what's goin' on?"

She sighed and closed her eyes. She trusted Fusco, hell he'd just covered for her yet again, but she wasn't sure herself what was going on here. "I don't know if I can. But I know someone who might."

He followed her as she walked some distance away from the crash site and dialed Finch's number. "Finch, we've got to talk to you."

"Yes Detective. And I have some information for you both. I'll meet you on the Manhattan side of the Queensboro's Bridge in half an hour." She hung up and as they made their way to his car, Joss filled Fusco in on what had happened.

****************************

They saw Finch as he approached in that limping gait of his. Not for the first time, Joss wondered what had happened to him, how he'd been injured.

"Kara Stanton's work history, aliases, prior addresses, financial records…." He said, while handing her a folder. "…..and her death certificate." She and Fusco looked over the file, trying to see if anything stood out to either of them. "Unfortunately, the most relevant part of her life is the part we know the least about."

"After she was declared dead." She said with a twist of irony. Too bad the bitch hadn't _stayed _dead. "Snow knew Stanton too. When I caught up to him after he broke into that tech company, he mentioned a woman, said she was planning something big."

"What was it he was looking for at the technology company?" Finch asked. Joss could tell that John hadn't mentioned her run in with Snow to Finch. The exasperating man probably thought he was protecting them all!

"He stole a hard drive." She told him.

"I'm going to need everything you know about that drive from your report. The only way we can help Mr. Reese is to try and figure out what she's planning to do and for whom."

"Well when I saw Snow, he was wired, with a bomb vest."

"I guess it's fair to say that wherever John is, he needs our help and quickly." Finch walked away from them and they decided to go back to the precinct and see what leads they could dig up there.

********************

She'd never worked so hard to put two and two together as she did now. She'd always been intent on getting justice for the families of the murder victims whose cases she picked up. And then when…She had to stop and fight back the emotion….. when John had brought her in on his quest to help people before they became victims, she felt she was having a more direct impact. A feeling she treasured. Maybe it was that feeling, or maybe it was John's quiet struggle against the darkness within him that had opened her up, that had her caring about him, even when she didn't think he returned the sentiment. Either way, she found herself falling for him in a big way and now, when he needed her, she was single-minded in her determination to get him back. Back on the streets helping people and back in her arms where he belonged.

Once she had some information for Finch, she called him from her desk.

"Yes Detective?" He eagerly answered the phone.

"So the hard drive that Snow stole from Fujima was from a small batch, model number DH950."

"It's NSA certified. This model is made exclusively for government and military installations." He told her after a brief minute during which she heard him typing.

"What would Stanton want with it?" She wondered aloud.

"If I had to guess, it's to store something highly sensitive or dangerous…." His voice trailed off. "Listen, I've just received a text from an unfamiliar number. It reads UXO."

"UXO? That's the military designation for unexploded ordinance."

There was a pause on both ends."Mr. Reese!"

"He could be wearing a bomb vest." She realized with dread.

"Sending you the number, you need to track down the location it was sent from, Detective." Finch could barely contain the urgency in his voice but it didn't matter because she felt the same way.

"I'm on it." She stated, setting her mouth in a firm line, resolute that she would find John and find him before he or anyone else could get hurt.

"Come on, Fusco!" She practically yelled to him and they rushed out, speeding to the location where the text had come from. When she got her hands on that woman…. She let her anger carry her through the drive to the diner at the address indicated by her search.

Once there, she and Fusco first cased the parking lot and when there was no sign of John or Snow, they marched inside, looking frantically around and flashing their badges.  
"Two guys in a suit, both tall. One with dark peppered hair, the other balding. They were probably here with this woman." She spoke curtly to the wait staff when they'd determined that John was not here. "Did you see them?"

"I did." One of the waitresses spoke up. "I felt bad for the younger one, he had a cut over his eyebrow and I offered to get him some ice. He said very politely no thank you and then I left them as the older one ate his burger.

"Didja hear what they were talkin' about?" Fusco asked in a rush.

"No, I'm sorry. They left soon afterwards, followed two other guys in suits out. The woman left some time afterwards, I didn't notice until I walked by the booth. I thought they'd all run out and stiffed me with the bill. But then I saw the money under the cup so…." She just shrugged her shoulders.

"Ok, thanks." Joss said, walking quickly outside.

******************************

"Detective did you find them?" Finch questioned hurriedly over the phone.

Keeping the disappointment from her voice, she answered. "No, but they were here. They followed two other men out."

Fusco hung up his phone just then. "It turns out the phone that sent the text belongs to an ATF agent. He and his partner were just called to a bomb threat at 780 Mercer."

"A bomb threat?" She puzzled.

A second later, Finch spoke from the phone. "It's an office building Detective. Mostly commercial and corporate tenants… Oh, now this is interesting…."

"What is?"

"The building has twenty one floors but the directory only lists twenty. The twenty-first floor is registered to a Stillwater Imports except that Stillwater Imports doesn't appear to have any ongoing business activity. This is a shell corporation. I'll keep looking into it but whatever Stanton's after, I bet it's in there."

"We're on our way. Call me when you find out more." She spoke rapidly and hung up.

*******************************

When they arrived on scene, the building was swarming with people and cops and just about every agency within the alphabet.

"We're gonna have to play this cool Carter." Fusco told him, eyeing all the brass around.

"Yeah, follow me." Joss walked past a line of policemen, flashing her badge and they were able to enter the building without problems. Even inside, there was a huge police presence.

"I don't see them anywhere." She said with disappointment. _Please_ tell me we haven't lost the trail she silently prayed.

"They must already be up there." Fusco volunteered. Just then her phone rang.

"Carter."

"Detective, hello, I have the information on your restricted floor." Joss had to cover up her other ear in order to make out what Finch was saying.

"I can barely hear you."

"Sorry about the noise, but I had to relocate to a place with better wi-fi anonymity before hacking the Department of Defense."

"You hacked the DOD?" She was ready to do anything necessary to find John but what if he was caught?!

Finch ignored her as usual when she mentioned that he'd just broken a law or two or three thousand. "Stillwater Imports is a cover for their cyber security operations center."

"What is that?"

"Officially their role is to monitor and protect sensitive government networks against cyber-terrorism."

"And un-officially?" She couldn't help but ask with a bit of sarcasm. Was there anything this man didn't know or couldn't find out. It might have been scary if he wasn't on their side. Or they on his for that matter.

"They are developing weaponized malware like Stuxnet and Flame. You may recall how they were used to sabotage Iranian nuclear centrifuges."

"Cyber-warfare."

"Yes, wait that's why Stanton needed the hard drive," Finch spoke as if he'd just had a revelation.

"Why?" She wondered. The pieces were all there, she just had to put them all….

"She's going to have them steal a cyber-weapon. With that, the people that she's working for could cripple a country's power grids, cut down their communications or worse." Finch's voice mirrored the fear that was gathering in her chest. "We're going to have to stop her Detective."

"I'm working on it." She hung up the phone and turned to Fusco. "We've gotta get up to that floor."

"You think the Bomb Squad boys are gonna go for that? Good luck." He asked with a bit of incredulity and sarcasm. She was tempted to tell him where to stow the sarcasm, it wasn't helpful. But after a quick glance around, she came up with a better idea.

"We'll just tell them we were helping clear the stairs." She smirked and walked towards the fire doors leading to the stairwell.

"That's twenty floors!" Fusco protested.

"Twenty-one." She reminded him. Wondering if she could make it in time. Hell, she wondered if Fusco would make it at all!

***************************

As they marched up the stairs, Fusco started to huff. The groaning started as they passed the sixth floor. By the 15th floor, Carter's legs were burning and Fusco was sweating profusely and barely lifting his legs to the next stair.

"You gonna make it Fusco?" She asked in concern.

"Yeah, yeah." He wheezed out. "Just don't let me eat any more donuts when we get back to the precinct." She smiled and almost reached out to help him up, but she knew he wouldn't appreciate it. Fusco's male ego was bigger than he was.

By the 18th floor, Fusco was puffing like a train and his eyes were glassy. "You know I can finish this Fusco. You can rest if you need to."

"Fuck you…..Carter! What kinda… schmuck… do you think I am,…... letting….. my partner…. go into a dangerous… situation alone! Just keep movin' your ass up those stairs. Gives me somethin' to take my mind offa all this exercise."

Carter turned and smiled when he couldn't see it. Normally she wouldn't have stood for that kind of thing, but she knew Fusco was just trying to keep her attention off the fact that he was probably going to go into cardiac arrest any minute. And yet, the man wouldn't let her go on without him. Damn, she loved him at that moment.

They finally reached the 21st floor and she told Fusco to rest just out of sight while she took care of the camera in the stairwell above. He just nodded and lowered himself, moaning, to the ground. She took a few minutes to watch the camera and the stairwell it covered before she realized that the power cord had been cut close to the camera. What the hell? She wondered. Had Snow and John come up this way?

Just then, they both heard gunshots from just outside the door to the stairwell. Drawing her weapon, Carter opened the door slowly and saw John getting up from the floor. Oh thank God! She'd finally found him!

"John!" She shouted, holstering her weapon and walking swiftly to him, her eyes full of concern and fear.

"Carter? You need to get off this floor right now." His voice was low and hard.

"No, we need to get you outta that vest." How could he think she'd just leave him here?

"You can't."

"I saw enough of them in Iraq." He wouldn't even meet her eyes.

"Get her out of here!" He demanded of Fusco.

"John! Please just listen to me…." She had her hands out in entreaty. She recognized that he'd already made up his mind. But he hadn't made up hers!

"There's no time." He said angrily, finally looking at her, his eyes hard and unemotional. But then for a brief second, she saw it. She saw the love and the agony in his eyes before he was  
able to lock it down. And then he went for her jugular. "You've got too much to lose." He turned away from her, but she wouldn't….couldn't accept his decision.

"No! John!" She reached out and grabbed his arm. She'd lost him too many times to let him go now. He was hers, he would always be hers and she wasn't going to let him go, let him get out of her life so easily! She'd made a vow to do anything for him and ….. "You are NOT doing that." She spoke brokenly, her eyes telling him she wouldn't _let_ him do that.

"Lionel!" He ordered.

"Carter, he's right." Fusco said quietly, trying to disengage her from John….._her_ John.

She held onto John when she turned to tell Fusco, "Get off of me!" Her panic filled eyes promising him a world of hurt….

"Think of your son." He told her, not raising his voice at all. He didn't have to.

Taylor….she couldn't leave Taylor without a parent. But she couldn't leave John either! He was the love of her life and she'd barely begun to show him that. She…just…. "John." She looked at him, begging him not to do this to her, not to make her choose…..she knew she'd never recover either way, no matter what she chose. He could barely look at her, knowing what she wanted but unable or unwilling to give it to her.

"You don't have to do this…" She begged.

He looked her in the eyes and spoke quietly in that voice of his, that voice that had always felt like a caress, "You know I do…because you'd do the exact same thing." …._for me_, his eyes said.

Her eyes filled with tears as she saw the love in his. He'd always been there, protecting her, even when she didn't know, even when she didn't want him to. _You'd do the exact same thing…..because you love me and wouldn't want me to die any more than I want you to….._

He squeezed her arm and then dropped it, turning to go. She wanted to kiss him but she just couldn't bring herself to say good-bye like that her broken heart told her. And he wouldn't kiss her, knowing she'd never be able to let him go if he did.

He looked in her eyes and then said, "Thank you…." She knew what he'd meant…._thank you for loving me, for redeeming my soul… _ "Both of you." And she watched him walk away from her and out of her life forever, the tears falling unchecked down her face.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: Well, it's taken me quite a bit to post the latest chapter here because of that Zoe crap they pulled at the end of Booked Solid. Zoe is SOOO not right for John! Anyway, I'm going to ignore it and try and move on. Hopefully Zoe will be killed off soon…..I can hope can't I?**

**Chapter 15**

She barely remembered Fusco guiding her towards the elevator and down through the lobby, but then all of a sudden, she felt herself wake up for a brief moment and she rushed outside, needing both the fresh air and the reassurance that John was not dead….at least not yet.

She and Fusco stood outside, looking up, fully expecting to see the top of the building burst into a cloud of violence at any second. She DIDN'T want to watch as John killed himself, as he was taken from her to leave her a shell of a woman, but she stood on the sidewalk looking up and praying nonetheless. She felt she owed it to him, she and several thousand people who would never know him, never see that caring and compassionate man he was. He was committed to performing this last act in the tragedy of a play that had been his life.

It seemed like they were waiting there forever. John had said that there wasn't time to get the vest off him and yet every second that crept by, added to the pile of recriminations that was slowly accumulating, crushing her heart.

"Huh, guess it was a dud?" Fusco spoke in a bewildered voice. And then the world shook around them, but not in the expected place.

No, it was from the side of the building that the dreaded explosion came. Had John thrown himself off the edge of the building for some reason? She and Fusco rushed around the corner, only to be forced back as the flames and heat struck them full on. Tears started streaming down her face as she realized the love of her life was gone, gone for good. She had to stop right where she was, panting and feeling the panic attack creeping from her limbs to her heart and lungs.

"Carter!" Fusco cried. He took one look at her, tears running down her face and embraced her. "John wouldn't want this. You need to get a hold of yourself Joss. John would want…." He was interrupted by his phone ringing.

"Fuck! What now!" He yelled in exasperation as he let go of her to answer the phone, angrily taking it out of his pocket and punching his finger down to answer the call. "Fusco." He snapped at the person on the other end of the line who'd dared interrupt the emotional moment. His eyes widened suddenly and he passed his phone to her.

"It's for you Carter."

"Tell whoever it is to fuck off right now, Fusco." Her words uncharacteristically harsh as she stood in front of him, panting and trying to deal with the knife twisting in her heart.

"No Carter, trust me, you need to take this call." He practically shoved the phone at her.

"Carter." She said, bitingly. She was just too hurt right now to pull her punches. Whoever was on the other end would just have to deal with it.

"Joss." A voice she had never expected to ever hear again caressed her all over. Suddenly the edges of her vision went black and all the oxygen was sucked out of her lungs and for the very first time in her life, Joss fainted.

*****************************

She was only out for a few seconds and came to with Fusco holding her awkwardly. "John!" She gasped and looked frantically around for him.

"Yeah, he's ok but when you passed out, I had to decide real quick which of you to catch… you or the damn phone." He told her, reaching down and picking up the broken pieces.

She forcefully gripped Fusco by the upper arms and looked intensely in his face. "Tell me I wasn't dreaming…tell me he's still alive!" She begged him.

"Ow, Carter! Let go! And yeah, your boyfriend's still alive and kickin'" Fusco grumbled but without the usual heat.

Just then, a uniformed cop came up to them. "Hey, one of you Detective Carter?"

"Yeah." She nodded at him.

"I got a call for you on my pho…." The guy never got a chance to finish his sentence as Carter dove for it and ripped it out of his hands.

"John!" She almost shouted into the phone.

"Joss, are you ok? The line went dead and I…" he began, but stopped when she started laughing uncontrollably. Even to her own ears, she could hear the edge of hysteria in her voice.

"You almost get blown from here to kingdom come and you're asking me if I'M alright?"

"Joss, baby, I need you to keep it together for a bit longer. Finch and I can't get down there right now. Not with all those police down there and about ten pounds of semtex. I'll meet you at your place just as soon as I can. You need to get out of here so that you aren't involved with any of this."

"John…" She whispered, unwilling to hang up. She never thought she'd hear that low, sexy voice of his and now that she was, she didn't want to let him go.

"It's ok, Joss…but you need to go sweetheart. Now. I promise; I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Alright. But you better keep your promise John Reese or you're going to WISH Harold hadn't saved you…." She tried to be flippant but her voice broke on the last few words.

"Soon, my Joss." And the line went dead.

"You ok?" Fusco asked quietly.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be ok. I just need to get out of here. I need to get home and see Taylor." She said, wiping the tears out of her eyes. She probably looked a fright but at the moment she didn't care. She didn't care about anything really except getting home….getting home and seeing her son and then waiting….for John.

"Ya want me to drop ya off?" He asked. She shot him a grateful look and they both made their way to the car.

***************************

"Taylor?" She called the minute she got in the door. "Taylor? Where are you?"

"Right here, Mom." He called and then walked out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel.

"Dinner's almost ready and I…" Whatever else he'd been about to say was cut off when Joss grabbed him and pulled him into a hard hug. He hugged her back for a several seconds before pulling back.

"Mom, what's wrong? What happened?" He asked in a worried tone of voice, taking in her tear streaked face. "Is it John? Fusco? Are YOU ok?" He looked her up and down, obviously looking for injuries.

She shook her head and attempted a smile. "I'm ok, baby. It's just been an emotional few days and I… I just needed to come home and get a hug from my favorite son."

"Well since I'm your _only_ son, I'd better be the favorite!" He smiled at her. "Are you sure you're ok Mom?" He looked at her with worry in his eyes and then enveloped her in another hug. As he wrapped his arms around her, she couldn't help but notice how much muscle he had now and how tall he'd grown. That almost had her in tears again; her baby was growing up so fast! She had to adjust her thinking because in reality, Taylor was almost a man. Soon he'd be going off to college and she wouldn't get to see him every day…. The tears did start at that point and Taylor once more released her, an anxious look transforming his face even more into looking like that of an adult.

"Mom, what's with the waterworks? I know you've been upset the past few days. If you won't talk about it with me, promise me you'll talk about it with John."

"Sorry, I was just realizing how much you've grown up and how I'm going to have to send you off to college soon." She sniffed and wiped at the tears on her cheeks.

"Aw, Mom! You'll be glad to get rid of me! Then you and John can move in together and…."

"Hey! That's enough of that T!" She playfully punched him in the arm.

"So, you ready for some dinner?" He asked.

She was about to say that she didn't feel like eating anything tonight, that she just wanted to go to bed, but the hopeful look in Taylor's eyes stopped the words on her lips. He'd clearly gone to a lot of trouble to make dinner and she knew he'd be disappointed if she didn't eat it.

"Sure thing. What did you make?" She followed him into the kitchen, resolving to at least try and get some food past the lump she could still feel at the back of her throat.

*********************

Once dinner was eaten and the kitchen cleaned up, Taylor sat down to work on some homework and Joss was able to escape to her bedroom. She didn't think she could hold out much longer. She quickly stripped out of her clothes and stepped into the shower, grateful that the water would hide her tears as she cried.

She had no idea how long she stood in the shower, just letting the hot water envelope her as she sobbed. She knew it was stupid…to be crying now even when she knew John was going to be alright, but she just couldn't stop imagining the thought of how things might have been, how she'd almost lost him. Finally, when the water was turning from lukewarm to cold, she shut it off and stepped out. She wrapped herself in her favorite soft, fluffy robe and lay down on her bed to wait for John, using the pillow to muffle the sound of any crying.

Sometime later, she awoke to the sound of voices in the living room. She heard John's low rumble and Taylor's younger voice and she sat bolt upright, just about to jump out of bed and go to John when she heard her son speaking in a very concerned and almost angry voice.

"I know it's none of my business Mr. Reese, but is everything ok with you and my Mom?"

John obviously chose to ignore the anger and simply said, "Yes Taylor, why do you ask?"

"Well she's been real upset the past few days. I haven't seen her that upset since I fell off the railing when I was five and practically split my head open. And tonight, she came home crying. She barely ate any dinner and I've heard her crying in her room up until a half hour ago."

"I'm sorry you've had to worry about your mom like that Taylor. Your mom and I have been through a lot at our jobs lately. And tonight, your mom showed just how much she cares about you. She had to make an awful choice between doing what was right for you and doing what she wanted to do. And she chose to act in the most unselfish way I've seen in a long, long time."

"Is she alright though? Why did she have to choose between me and being happy? Do I… do I really make her unhappy?" He asked in a small voice and her heart broke that he'd even considered such a thing. She jumped up out of the bed, ready to go to her son and tell him how much she loved him and how happy she was and proud too, to call him her son. However John's words stopped her.

"Taylor, your mom loves you more than anything in this world." He spoke forcefully. "She would never, EVER think that you make her unhappy and you shouldn't either." John's voice then rose unexpectedly, almost as if he was holding back several emotions. "You have the best mother a son could want and she will always love you no matter what. Nothing and no one will ever change that."

"Thanks, John." She could hear her son sniffling as if he was crying. "I worry about her sometimes, when I'm off at college, who will look out for her?" Taylor paused and then asked in a determined, authoritative tone of voice, "Will YOU be here for her, John? What are your intentions towards my mom?"

"I'm going to be straight with you. In my line of work, I'm never sure what day will be my last. But I will promise you this; I will be here for your mom as long as she'll have me. I'm all in and I promise to take care of your mom with everything in my power and every breath in my body. I give you my word on that."

"Well then, you'd better get in there. Since it's Friday night, I'm going over to my friend Devon's house to stay the night. Will you tell my mom?"

"Sure. Be careful though. You have your phone on you?

"Yeah."

"Good. You can call either myself or Finch whenever you need something Taylor, you know that right?"

"Yeah...ok...thanks. Well…um…..see ya later." She heard the front door open and close.

Less than a minute later, she heard his footfalls in the hall and then the door to her bedroom swung open and she couldn't help but launch herself into John's waiting arms. The tears started once more as he enveloped her in those strong, sheltering arms of his. In fact, it felt as if he was wrapping his entire upper body around her as he leaned down over her and covered first her hair and then her face with kisses.

"Oh, John! I… I felt like… I was dying… right along with you tonight." She managed to get out between sobs.

"No, baby, no. Don't say that Joss." He scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the nearby rocking chair. He sat down with her still in his arms and Joss reached her own up and hugged him tightly, wanting as much of her body in contact with his. She needed the reassurance that he was really here with her and that this wasn't just a dream. John stroked her back soothingly and looked down at her tear streaked face. "Joss, it hurts me to see you in this much pain." He wiped the tears off her face and kissed her closed and swollen eyelids, first one and then the other.

"Then don't you dare do that to me again, John Reese!" She pounded his chest with her fist. "Or I'll…I'll kill you myself!"

She felt his chest vibrate underneath her arms as he laughed. "Well then, I guess I'd better say no next time someone tries to put a bomb vest on me."

"Damn straight you'd better, especially if it's an ex-lover!" She tried to muster some mock indignation but even to her own ears, she could tell she failed miserably. She was still in shock over the entire night's events.

"John, I never want to feel that helpless and hopeless again." She took a deep breath and spoke as calmly as she could. "I need to tell you something." She reached up and cupped his beloved face in her hands. "I'm in love with you John Reese. I have been for months now but I was too afraid to tell you; too afraid that you might not feel the same. And that's ok if you don't. But I wanted you to know. I'm done being a coward and I'm…I'm sorry it took something like what happened tonight for me to be honest with myself and more importantly, with you." She dropped her hands and bowed her head, hoping and praying that this wouldn't scare him away. She knew she'd never survive that, his leaving her, but she felt she HAD to let him know in case…in case she never got another chance.

It was a huge surprise when she felt the hot, wet drops of his tears falling on her face and hands. He reached his fingers down and tilted her chin up again so that she was looking into his eyes. "Oh my Joss, my beloved Joss, what did I ever do to deserve you? How can you possibly love me when I have so much blood on my hands? I'm damaged goods; don't you see that? And yet…" His voice trailed off, filled with the agony of his emotions. Meanwhile she was shaking her head in disagreement with his words. "…..God help me, I love you too and I'm never going to let you go. I can't, even though it's selfish of me considering who and what I am….. I can't let you go. I can't live without you Joss. Forgive me sweetheart." He drew her closer to him until she was resting her head against his chest. She felt his tears dropping onto her hair as he rested his cheek on top of her head.

"No John. I won't forgive you." She spoke quietly. "I'll never forgive you for loving me….if I did it would mean that there was something wrong in having you love me and I'll never, ever believe that. For whatever reason, we've been brought together, neither of us perfect, neither of us the best relationship material. But absolutely none of that matters. We have each other and I'm never going to let you go either." She tilted her head up and kissed him then, putting all of her love into that one kiss, hoping he could feel how much she loved him, how much she needed him.

The passion of the kiss nearly overtook them both. Having almost lost each other and then having professed their love for one another, the kiss went on and on until Joss wasn't sure where she stopped and he started. She'd never been kissed like this before, not even when she and her husband had still been in love. This kiss was hungry and needy while also being giving and loving. There was no coming back from this kiss, it changed everything.  
But it didn't stop with the kiss. They both paused to take a quick breath but then continued to kiss each other, their tongues taking turns exploring each other's mouths as if this was their very first kiss. Joss had her arms around John's neck and as they kissed she ran her fingernails lightly through his short hair, causing him to shiver. His response was to grip her more tightly before standing up with her in his arms and walking them both over to the bed.

Even as he set her gently down, he did not immediately break off from kissing her. He climbed on top of her, his forearms bearing his weight as he cradled her head in his hands. Joss welcomed him there; she loved the feeling of his body pressing her down into the mattress. Soon enough, having their mouths joined was not enough for either of them. John's lips slowly traveled across her cheek to take possession of one of her earlobes. He drew it in and took it between his teeth, gently drawing it out again. It was Joss's turn to shiver. Suddenly, she felt there were too many clothes between them. As John continued to suck on her ear, tracing the outer edge with his tongue and causing her to moan softly, she reached down between their bodies and began unbuttoning his shirt. Or trying to at least, but for some reason her fingers just weren't working as she wanted them to. Perhaps it was due to the fact that John's soft lips had moved down to her throat. She couldn't help but push her head back into the mattress, exposing more of her neck to his questing lips and keening when he pulled those lips back so that it was a light scrape of his teeth that was running gently up and around her throat. As his tongue replaced his teeth and lips, she became so frustrated with the time it was taking to get her hands on him that she finally grabbed ahold of each side of his shirt and pulled forcefully. The shirt was no match for her determination and after the buttons flew off in all different directions, she pushed the shirt down his arms…..only to groan in frustration when she realized he was wearing an undershirt too!

"John…" she moaned as he licked and sucked on her neck where it joined her shoulder.  
"John, I want to feel you…I want to touch you, NOW!" She yelled in response as he nipped her in the shallow indentation between her collarbones. He did it once more and grinned at her reaction before reaching down and pulling his shirt over his head. Immediately her hands roamed over the flat planes of his chest. Her tongue darting out over lips that were suddenly dry. The incredible feeling of his smooth, warm skin under her fingers had her wishing she could feel him on and in every part of her body. Her desire for him was like a fire in her veins, spreading to consume any thought other than her need for him, her need to reassure herself that he was really here with her.

She ran her fingernails lightly down his chest and then around and up his back, feeling his body quiver where it met hers. In the meantime, he'd bent down and once more began kissing and nipping her neck and she closed her eyes and moaned. There was no describing the way it felt to have his lower body pushing her into the mattress, the hard bulge of his erection rubbing her in just the right place as he made slow, grinding thrusts against her. She wrapped her legs tightly around his upper thighs in an attempt to bring him closer to her, close enough that she would feel as if they were no longer two separate people but rather two halves of a whole. Maybe then, she'd be able to give up the fear that she'd blink and he'd be suddenly gone.

Her hands travelled down his back and around front to his waistband. She wanted those pants off him now. She wanted him inside her, over her. She wanted to feel and give that sense of glorious release that came when they joined their bodies together. As her fingers fumbled with his belt, his lips began to descend, leaving her skin tingling wherever his hot mouth and soft lips touched. He pushed himself up off of her for a second and reached down to unknot the tie holding her robe closed.

"Hmm. This is like opening a lovely gift on Christmas morning."

Slowly he dragged one side and then the other open, the material exposing and caressing her breasts as it pulled to the side. She longed to feel his hands touching her there and her nipples pebbled at the thought. He smiled as he noticed her obvious reaction to him but then frowned and a flash of unexpected anger took over his expression for a brief minute.

"Oh sweetheart, your shoulders…" He moved to get off of her but she gripped him tightly around the waist, preventing him for a short time.

"John, it's ok. I'm fine. Please…please don't leave." She pled softly, tears beginning to form at the corners of her eyes.

"Joss, baby, I don't want to touch you and hurt you. Let me see how bad….."

"NO!" She interrupted him. "I don't care about anything else right now except being here with you, making love with you….John, I…I need this, please."

His eyes were filled with doubt but he made no further move to get off of her. She took advantage of the fact that she could easily undo his belt now and her fingers flew, unclasping the belt and then pulling down the zipper of his pants. Her hands reached in to caress him and she felt the hardness she was craving jump in her hands.

"John…please." She asked again, looking into his eyes as she continued to rub one hand up and down the bulge that she wanted desperately to free.

The spark of desire re-appeared in his eyes, warring with the concern. "Are you sure Joss? We can wait until you're better." She shook her head and he allowed her other hand to bring his head down until she could recapture his mouth with hers. Her lips moved hungrily against his and he placed his hands on either side of her head, stilling her as his mouth began to plunder hers. His hands slowly moved down, tracing first the curve of her cheeks then down the column of her throat. She felt his long fingers gently trace outwards along her collarbone, ghosting ever so lightly across her bruised shoulders. She moved her own hands downward gripping the waistband of his pants and slowly dragging them down, neither of them breaking off the all-consuming kisses they were sharing. John's hands then made their way to her breasts where he cupped them in his large hands and used his thumbs to caress her hardened, sensitive nipples. She moaned into his mouth as he began rolling and tugging on them, the feelings arrowing down right to her core.

Her hands worked his pants and boxers down his hips and then suddenly his fully engorged penis fell heavily out of his pants and onto her mound. When her hands could no longer reach to push his pants off, she brought her legs up and used her feet to push them the rest of the way off. This movement had the added benefit of opening her legs to him and he shifted a bit so that he was prodding her cleft, the head of his penis becoming slick and drenched in the wetness between her legs.

"Are you ready, Joss?" He whispered harshly. "Because after what you just said, once we do this, you're mine for as long as we both have left."

"Yes, yours John. Now and forever." She whispered back, pushing her hips up into him. He leaned down once more and kissed her as she felt his hand guiding himself to her entrance.  
She expected him to plunge himself into her, taking possession of her quickly, but instead she felt him slowly, very slowly ease himself into her, filling her inch by agonizingly slow inch. Eventually he came to the end of her and as she reveled at the feeling of fullness and the fact that they felt so perfect together. John began to move in slow, restrained strokes each time dragging the pulsating head of his penis against that one spot that gave her so much pleasure.

"John," she gasped out. "Please, faster…"

"Oh no my love, we have all night long and I want to love you through most of it." He continued to move slowly in and out of her, his hands and lips never stopping as they moved across her body and filled her mouth. It seemed as if there was not an inch of skin that he had not touched, not a part of her he had not filled. She sighed in pleasure as they slowly united, and moaned as they separated. She had no idea where he was getting the willpower to maintain his slow but steady pace but she could feel herself slowly building, and she wanted to take him with her so she clamped down on his hard shaft with her inner muscles and he groaned.

"Joss, ahh…what you do to me baby…" He spoke with a tone of awe and devotion. "Together ok?" She nodded and he increased his pace while she continued to embrace him both inside her and outside pulling him close.

"I'm..John..I'm going…" She cried out as the increased pace increased that wonderful feeling of fullness and friction.

"Hang on Joss.. Just…hang…on…" He grit out and she could feel the tension in him building, feel the hardness inside her increase and then he was yelling, "Now baby!" And they both threw themselves over the edge at the same time, calling each other's names as the pleasure overtook them.

John recovered first and hugged her tightly to him. "I love you Joss and I will continue to love you as long as there is life left in my body. I will try and be worthy of your love. I promise to be there for you and take care of you in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, all the days of my life."

Joss felt her heart swell almost to bursting with her love for this man. A man who felt he was irreparably damaged, though she knew better. And now, in speaking the wedding vows, he was committing to her in the only way that was possible for him. They could never get married, never have children together; their lives would always be hovering at the edge, any given day could see them ripped away from each other. But she'd take him any way she could get him. Better her life with him, for however brief a time than the emptiness she'd have without him in her life.

So she wrapped herself as tightly around him as she could and cupped the side of his cheek with one of her hands while she placed her other over his heart. "I, Jocelyn Carter, take you John Reese, to be mine, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part." Gazing into his eyes, she saw all of her love reflected back to her and then he bent to kiss her, both of them becoming swept away in their love for one another. They once more made love, and then again later, first she waking him up with light touches and then later, he waking her with kisses full of passion and love until they both fell into a deep and exhausted slumber. Even in sleep though, they held onto each other as the next day slowly began around them.

**AN: Not quite sure if I want to write about the next day (that unaccounted for time), before John goes back to the library and gets mobbed by Bear. It's been too long without a John/Joss scene…I need another one to fire up the old muse again. So, I may end the story here, we'll have to see where the next few episodes take us. **


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